ditto the ones that simply put 'wrecked.com'.

Funny thread.

Oh shutup!! If u loved mee u wouldnt go away out on the drink, cheating on mee, mugging mee off and treating mee like s***e and forgetting something that means soo much too mee that im getting in the f***ing morning that iv been worrying about for weeks p.s dont come too hosp or il sign myself out

followed by loads of people asking what's wrong and what's happened and then the person saying they don't want to talk about it

My boyfriend's ex must have posted this to her new boyfriend. Sounds like the kind of attention seeking crap she'd pull the nutter.

Today I have :"They should make a Barbie with no hair, so that every little girl that is fighting cancer feels beautiful!! Put her in pink with a head scarf, and name her HOPE. Give the proceeds from the sales to cancer research. Post this if you agree and I bet you 99% of you won't. ♥"

I hate 'vaguebooking'. When someone puts 'it's all over' or something and then a chain of people ask 'What's up' or 'OMG' and nobody is any the wiser as the vaguebooker alludes to a major crisis. Usually they've lost their socks or something tedious but OMG the world ended...

Oh and the worse was the Photoshopped clear blue pregnancy stick photo. Instead of saying how many days pregnant, the words were adjusted to 'only joking'. Seriously I had a former friend share this with me knowing that I'd miscarried last year.

Another vote for stupid, pointless updates about kids.

I've got a couple of facebook friends that literally post things like, "xxx has just unwrapped a chocolate, so proud!" and "xxx is so clever, she slept from 8pm-1am then 2am-6am!!!!!!"

Yawn.

Wow what a pleasant person

there is an asian guy on my friends list who frequently puts pro islamic statuses (statii?), praise allah etc but much more rambling

i was going to delete him as i don't really want his religion shoved down my throat but didn't want to open the racism can of worms ("you deleted him because of his religion?!" FASCIST!!!")

drunk statuses piss me off too, i used to work with a load of 18-19 year old guys and i swear, if you listened to them talking you'd think they invented getting drunk. Their statuses reflect this "lolz i was ****ing mashed last night!" or "ugh, hangover" the next morning.

I hate my friends.

One of last night's statuses on my wall:

"I seem to fall out with all my friends"
Comments:
You alright babe?
Yeah, i'm fine thanx

I'm a member of a local anti-racist group on FB and there's a brouhaha clogging up my feed at the minute about the admin being all white. A black activist demanded some black people be made admin, so one of the admin promoted him right away, but now there's a battle about whether or not this is ludicrous tokenism or whether we're all terrible hypocrites for only letting the whites have the power. It's such a ****ing farce, as usual. It's an FB group, being an admin of it means next to nothing, I had no idea who the admin even are let alone what colour their skin was, and as long as when we meet (hardly ever these days) everyone is equal then we should stop making a fuss about bloody nothing. I'm so sick of this People's Front of Judea bullshit.

Also there's someone on that group who I know to be a sociopath and a rank misogynist and every time I see him moralising I want to scream and wound people.

I shouldn't be on Facebook.

Setting the groundwork for a disability claim no doubt.

I just saw one - 'Eww my nipple peircing is pussing :/ ...'

Yuck!! Why would you put that as your status?! The ones that annoy the hell out of me have already been mentioned, the attention seeking ones!! Usually followed by 'inbox me' or 'doesn't matter babes' when asked what's up.

I'm close to deleting one of my cousins actually, cos 99% of her statuses are about how drunk she is, how she needs a fag, or who she's going to beat up next. I promise that kind of thing doesn't run in the family

Ugh I hate all that sentimental copy and paste BS,

The most irritating ones come from my daughter and her friends. "FML" "What's up?" "DM" "Inbox me" "k". Inane emo prittle prattle but I can't help reading it!

Just imagine if they ever broke up!

Hamburger partially digested, NYPD on their way.

That's the last one I read.

Haha, oh dear. I see the link to this thread on Luke Lawton's Facebook. We all better hope those guns are just airsoft!

Actually, to be honest, I think I'm more scared of wifey.

"You Wanna Sort Ya Fukin Mongy GF Out Sayin U Can't See Ya Kids My Mum As Four 2 U Ya Wanna Grow A Pair Of Balls And Actually Tell Her U Do Want A Relationship With Ya Kids Or Was That Wat U Said On Jezza Aload Of Fukin Shit"

Typical teacher tweets (I know plenty from my old work):

"I hope we're going to get a snow day tomorrow "
"X days left until I escape from work and get on holiday!"
"Can't stand all of this marking to do on a Sunday night "

Always sounds like they think they deserve one when clearly a third of thei year is not spent at work! And the sympathy "I have to do marking books and homework in my spare time". Hold on, there's something called overtime without pay in the world outside education .

I see an lot of this from old school friends who are now newly qualified/ been teacher for 5 mins ,''had to stay till past 5 today ' or ' urghh so many books to mark '' oh how horrific it must be have a career !!

I have a teacher friend, who along with the 'overtime' statuses revels in the fact he's on holiday when a lot of others are at work in half term/Easter/Summer holidays. He's only really popular with his teacher mates on FB..

Ditto! They're always bragging where they're going and more importantly how much they're going to enjoy it.

Sorry any DS members who are teachers. Maybe this is the new generation of teachers, I don't know.

Haha, I'd love to say it was just the new generation but my parents friends who have been teachers for 30+ years are the same when chatting in person (I'm not friends with them on facebook so I don't know about their statuses).

Yes, only airguns, so the most you'd get is a nasty bruise On the flipside, it does rule out a suicide pact, which would undoubtedly improve the gene pool...

Wow at Luke's FB page, that is just amazing

Why isn't he famous already and why does he not seem to see an awful lot of his 'wifey'? Is she somewhere 'safe'?