Then, every Friday, you need to reply

"well slap my wanger and bugger me sideways with the rough end of pineapple, I never noticed it was Friday."

Definitely a bugbear of mine. Especially when, under the 'Work' category, they put "Full time mum!" I didn't actually realise you could be a part-time mum. Is there a pro rata calculation in there?

Instagram selfie lady strikes again

Im at metro centre
I'm waiting at metro centre
Already spent some at metro
Waiting on joe at metro centre
Shopping at metro centre
I'm at the metro centre eating food
Where are you Joe I'm waiting at metrocentre for you
I am here by myself. I flew here at metrocentre



Guys! I don't know where she is. Can you help me?

As she's eating, she's in some form of comestible outlet.
However, since there are hundreds of thousands of these throughout the country, I cannot narrow it down further. Sorry.

If only she was more specific.

I've got one who does that too! Wonder if it's the same person? Does her Facebook name have an brand of alcopop in the middle?

Simple just de-friend her.

Get in with that daft comment before she does next Friday

I was bored at work so was surfing facebook during my break, and I saw an old school friend posting her usual attention seeking messages.

"so fed up" no one replies so a few minutes later. "omg I cannot believe some people" no replies. so a few minutes later " I wish people would stop stirring shit up n get down with their own lives"

Que a few comments such as "what's up hun" and "omg I'm here if u wanna talk" to which she replies "nothing I don't want to talk about it"

A relative of mine recently put this status up.

"I hate my family so much, why can't they all just get out of my life....IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT"

He didn't realise that he was still friends with me

Give it a few minutes.. .. You'll prob see her add the famous "ill pm you hun" at some point

Ooh you so should have 'liked' that status!

"In cinema with x and x, film is so funny, cant stop laughing"

Its not that funny if you are on facebook instead of watching it!

That post on the other page about attackers and self-defense tips must win the award for longest status post!


How many of her male friends respond with something like "Ill tickle ur tits bbe lol xxxx'?

I have someone who pretty much only uses Facebook to say "thank Crunchie it's Friday" every single week without fail.

Most people will have someone who post these cruddy memes all day long, so to combat them and the usual "OMG REALLY ANNOYED" crowd, post this to their wall.

Anyone want to translate BIB

Oh yes, I agree. Particularly when some of the people posting it are finding hours to spend on FB every day.

'Taxi numbers plz '



(Again)

'Potty training going well . Heidi boo has done a number 2 '

Someone in my feed has posted multiple pictures of her 'bestie' in hospital with her wrists cut. Both smiling and posing for the camera. Check in - hospital.

I now know how wrist-cutting girl felt to begin with.

I doubt you do but wtf. Why would her bestie want to take pics of them both in hospital, attention seeking much?

Dear...God...

Not a status as such, but I'm in a local 'sell, swap, give away, buy group' and twice lately it's been hijacked by members who've had a bad experience with either a taxi company or a tradesman. This has led to other group members taking their sides and phoning up the companies in question a mouthful. I've been so tempted to write either 'sorry, what exactly is for sale here?' or 'Two sides to every story?' but I'm too much of a coward.....

OK I was being facetious there but I do despair of humanity. Facebook wasn't always like this, was it? Is it just the younger generation (under 20) who have grown up with reality TV and social networking who think it's normal to share things like this?