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Worst Facebook status updates


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Old 24-01-2012, 14:50
ChocFestUnited
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'Im pregnant!'
'Snookypants wuvs her hunnybunch loads!'
'I might delete facebook its a loadf of ****' (followed by lots of 'no babez!)
'I am so ill. no one has ever been iller then me. if lots of my friends dont post sympathy comments i will have a huff' (well thats what they mean anyway)
(posts whacky photo) 'sooooo wasted!'
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Old 24-01-2012, 14:56
munta
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A classic I saw recently was one of my mates.

His status update was all miserable and along the lines of

"thanks a lot for the birthday wishes NOT! It's nice to know you all think about me on my birthday"

Followed by

"How were we to know its your birthday. You don't have it on your profile"

Followed by

"Opps, very sorry everyone"

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Old 24-01-2012, 15:02
Custardtart
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Loving that this thread as cropped up today after what I've just seen on facebook a moment ago ..please people facebook is not place to discuss your child's bowel movements!

Oh and another one I used to have a girl on facebook ,I vaguely knew her from uni ,she used to be in my lectures/seminars but we had never hung out socially Anyway,her status every single day was about how much pain she was in or fainting ,or ending up in hospital .Like I said,I didn't know her well enough to know if she had a chronic illness or not but it got so annoying I deleted her from facebook ,plus the fact she stalked me across facebook and twitter commenting on everything I did when I hadn't even seen her for least three years :
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Old 24-01-2012, 15:22
BBWorldWideFan
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Here are a few ones from a serial emo whiner who always thinks the world is against him :

" yeh i may be skinny, i may be gothic, yeh i have piercings and yeh i may no be perfect and im gay ! but does it make me any different from any other person in the world i have a soul i have feelings and i'd rather be all those things than an arsehole any day!!!!"

"I went to asda and wen I went to the self service checkout I said to the woman do u not hate working on self service and she says no its just people like you tht piss me off ffs! Complaining to asda tomorrow!"

"Omg why do people send me a f***ing horrible message and them block me so I can't reply it pisses me off!!!!!!"

"oh **** this shit im going off 2 bed and **** ***** ( if u hadnt deleted me i would tag u in it) see if i see u in town ur ****ing dead u c*nt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"oh ya f*cker just punched ma nipple bar by accident!!!!!!!!!!"

"seriously giv up on guys im ****ing turning straight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!​!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!​!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!​!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!​!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!​!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!​!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!​!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!​!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!​!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!​!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!​!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!​!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!​!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!​!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!​!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!​!!!!!"

"if u hate me delete me simple as !!!!"

"I've met Mr.Cheater , Mr.Liar , Mr.Jealous , Mr.Issues , Mr.OnlyWantsSex , Mr.BabyDaddy , Mr.WannaBeGansta , Mr.Hoe && Mr.NoGood , where Mr.Right at ?"
What a f**king hyppocrite, he whines and bitches on FB about his life problems but no one else is allowed to have any, what a selfish bell end.

P.S - Maybe he hasn't met "Mr Right" because HE IS MR WRONG
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Old 24-01-2012, 15:27
BBWorldWideFan
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The most annoying ones are my aunt talking about how her gardens sorted or one of my distant friends (when I say distant I mean not liking them that much, not because they're far away btw) and they'll rack their brains out coming up with a crap joke to share with the world and most of the time they only a few likes.

Or people that spend their whole lives on FB and are even on it during conversation p*ss me right off
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Old 24-01-2012, 15:35
ThisSheepMoobs
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I'm sorry but yes they were. My father had cancer and died. If I needed to let one of my FB friends know, i sent them a private message, I didn't put it on my facebook as I didn't want the attention.

I have one friend whose mother died of cancer and she has her under her 'family' on FB and it says 'sadly passed'. Her mother was never on FB herself, so why add that. Pathetic and attention seeking.

I also don't like it when people put messages to their dead family members on their status.

Sorry if you don't like my views perhaps copy and paste what I have said and add it to your status
this.

I have this friend whose parent died. Yes, it is bad and I feel for him/her (not sure if he/she is on here).
Every single celebration- birthdays, christmas, valentines, the day the parent died, easter, or some other weekly celebatory event he/she will mention something about their dead parent. I am surprised he hasn't mentioned his parents on Hannukah or Eid yet for that matter.

Keep it private.
He/she keeps on mentioning his/her dead family member all the time.

I got people from far back as high school. They are only around the same age as me, 20. They always post about their kids- please get a grip.

The other fb status- typical immigrant bashing status "they cummin over ere, tekkin jobs,... blah blah blah, follow our ways blah blah blah!". oh dear.
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Old 24-01-2012, 15:55
lil lexie
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has anyone mentioned the fact that potential employers now use FB to determine whether or not you are a suitable employee?
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Old 24-01-2012, 15:59
Nicole_Pink
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I have this friend whose parent died. Yes, it is bad and I feel for him/her (not sure if he/she is on here).
Every single celebration- birthdays, christmas, valentines, the day the parent died, easter, or some other weekly celebatory event he/she will mention something about their dead parent. I am surprised he hasn't mentioned his parents on Hannukah or Eid yet for that matter.
Its a he isnt it?
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Old 24-01-2012, 16:00
Trsvis_Bickle
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I hate them too

" grrr, cant beleive what I have just heard, if its true therelives wont be worth living'

'whats up hun'
'hope you are ok hun'
'anything we can do hun?'


Then they say they will inbox one of them and you never learn the terrible thing that has happened. tres frustrating

I ask myself, why do I go there? I am just too damn nosey for it
What's with all these Germans on facebook?

Love these threads - far more entertaining than facebook itself.
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Old 24-01-2012, 16:17
ThisSheepMoobs
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haha it is a he. He does it all the time. His dead parent would have enjoyed this... all the time. Been 2 years and he still does it.

I do feel for him. Losing a parent is horrible. No one should go through that. Like I say, I am sorry.

I am not heartless, but still doing fb posts constantly.
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Old 24-01-2012, 16:19
Nicole_Pink
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haha it is a he. He does it all the time. His dead parent would have enjoyed this... all the time. Been 2 years and he still does it.

I do feel for him. Losing a parent is horrible. No one should go through that. Like I say, I am sorry.

I am not heartless, but still doing fb posts constantly.
Yeah, FB isnt a place, IMO, for this kind of chat....counselling yes.

I get the same with my own family on FB. If anything it just reminds us that they are gone! Annoying...and doesnt make you heartless
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Old 24-01-2012, 16:26
ThisSheepMoobs
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Yeah, FB isnt a place, IMO, for this kind of chat....counselling yes.

I get the same with my own family on FB. If anything it just reminds us that they are gone! Annoying...and doesnt make you heartless

Fb isn't the place. He posts it constantly. He get those usual sympathic replies.
It is annoying. Thank you, I don't want to be heartless. It is so annoying. It is not exactly helping him posting it on FB.

The other annoyance on FB statuses:
The other one is the lies people spread FB. It is scary how I know so much about people but it is enough to know that those people are lying.
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Old 24-01-2012, 17:04
pinkteddyx64
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has anyone mentioned the fact that potential employers now use FB to determine whether or not you are a suitable employee?
Why do they determine whether or not you are a suitable employee based soley what you do on Facebook?
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Old 24-01-2012, 17:22
crista_galli
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has anyone mentioned the fact that potential employers now use FB to determine whether or not you are a suitable employee?
That's why you shouldn't make your profile public
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Old 24-01-2012, 17:25
crista_galli
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Why do they determine whether or not you are a suitable employee based soley what you do on Facebook?
For example people that post updates about their massive drinking session or about their hangovers might be rejected when applying for a job, on the basis they are prone to call in sick because of hangovers.
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Old 24-01-2012, 17:41
__3kerry
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"Having a Costa" or "Can't sleep"........
Yes! it's like they think Facebooks going to sing them a lullaby or something.
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Old 24-01-2012, 18:03
lil lexie
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For example people that post updates about their massive drinking session or about their hangovers might be rejected when applying for a job, on the basis they are prone to call in sick because of hangovers.
yep, looking for things like references to drug use, drinking binges, slagging off employers, checking out your work history and seeing how you conduct yourself in what is ultimately a public space, apparently.
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Old 24-01-2012, 18:21
BobbyMcGee
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The ones I hate

"so pissed off"
"what up hon?"
"don't want to talk about it"

WTF! Don't write a status then. It's not rocket science.
Or " im not saying theres some well nosey people on here!!" makes me wanna throw my laptop at the wall!
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Old 24-01-2012, 18:22
vierte
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Any sort cryptic post of any kind.
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Old 24-01-2012, 18:27
habby
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A few hours ago my brother put on his that he was having a sandwich!!! Idiot!
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Old 24-01-2012, 18:29
habby
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yep, looking for things like references to drug use, drinking binges, slagging off employers, checking out your work history and seeing how you conduct yourself in what is ultimately a public space, apparently.
I never know how this can work. If you put your profile as private, anyone who isnt your friend, including future employers, can't see what you've written.
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Old 24-01-2012, 18:31
vierte
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I never know how this can work. If you put your profile as private, anyone who isnt your friend, including future employers, can't see what you've written.
Because a lot of people are too thick to put their page as private or don't understand what sort of restrictions they have in place
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Old 24-01-2012, 18:46
darakinss
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so so so tempted to link this thread on Facebook, so everyone who posts these statuses realises what assholes they are. and the sad thing is, the statuses do get likes and comments and there are obviously people who do care about their lives. i dont though.

on my own news feed there's a girl who posts quotes as statuses all the time after a break up from her boyfriend a while back. i could tolerate it up to a point but its just irritating now. and another girl posts everything about her baby. and i dont care! the only baby statuses i care about are my stepsister's about my stepniece, but everyone else can go to hell
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Old 24-01-2012, 19:24
3PS
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Seen a new 1 today.
Follow the crowd it valantines soon. Put this in your status and see what number ppl inbox you. 1,second chance, 2,ur cute 3,kiss, ect.
Vomit vomit. Shame they don't have 4, your a moron.
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Old 24-01-2012, 19:33
Sib69
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a couple of years ago one of my friends was in the habit of slagging me and my friends off on facebook. one week she was on holiday in stratford, and as i had just passed my test i drove myself and a couple of friends to chester to go shopping. we took a few pics of us in daft hats etc and uploaded them. a couple of hours later she says "i don't think i'll bother coming home as people are clearly having more fun without me". really wound me up, as she clearly expected us to not go out without her when she's not even in the country (we live in wales)
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