Worst Facebook status updates

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DaisyBumbleroot

22-08-2012

Originally Posted by Trifle?:
“
Another woman generalises, as in ALL men are x, y and z. Then she'll complain that ALL men don't want real women only stick insects, then she'll go on about wanting Christian Grey. No real men exist, and no man wants a confident woman like her. I think she means that real men don't want an obese gobshyte.
She updates about 15 times a day, I'd block her but it's like watching a soap opera ”

I often ask myself, 'why do I keep these lunatics on my Facebook page?', you summed it up right there

Originally Posted by tenorlady:
“Ugh, I've got a friend who does that.

She also posts as her dog sometimes, complete with *woof* and *whine*, followed by #notahappydoggytoday.

It really irritates me and I don't know why.

The problem is, if I told her, she'd probably be really hurt because I think she's under the impression it's amusing and cute.”

A friend of mine has a page for his coat, his f***ing COAT!

TOONARMY12

22-08-2012

Originally Posted by DaisyBumbleroot:
“I often ask myself, 'why do I keep these lunatics on my Facebook page?', you summed it up right there
A friend of mine has a page for his coat, his f***ing COAT!”

Straightjacket?

Leicester_Hunk

22-08-2012

A dunt no sis x but u with copper made me laught that was tellin him off big time .kazzie was goin to get put in back ov van lmao .. What a night a no we got some rite gud pics as well xx

we didnt get in till 5am .. av been up since 7 am being sick ..am really not alive right noe x

Well a need to get in shower a keep sayin x mi hair is all over n mi make up still on lol xxx a look shit xxx

mrsmoose

23-08-2012

Once of my friends who likes getting sympathy

"Rip Jan, thoughts are your family"

few hours later

"Can't believe Jans still dead. Rip"

Ashenpimento

23-08-2012

Originally Posted by mrsmoose:
“Once of my friends who likes getting sympathy

"Rip Jan, thoughts are your family"

few hours later

"Can't believe Jans still dead. Rip"”

do you think they meant to say

STILL Can't believe Jans dead. Rip?

malpasc

23-08-2012

Originally Posted by Millie Muppet:
“My friend, AKA Mumzilla, posted this delightful piece of pseudo-inspirational bullshit recently:

'My husband has made me laugh. Wiped my tears. Hugged me tight. Watched me succeed. Seen me fail. Cheered me on. Kept me going strong. My husband is a promise from God that I will have a friend forever. Put this as your status if you love your husband.'

Sweet Jesus. Nah, my hubby's a tit, that's why I married him. Seriously. Pass me a bucket and really, I'm not sure why I originally referred to her as a friend because this has proven that we have absolutely zip in common. :sleep:”

I also hate those "female empowerment" status updates like 'mums are brilliant, post this if your a great mum or have a great mum' and 'women are strong. post this if your a strong woman'.. Enough already - have some originality and create your own, non cliched status updates. The more these "empowerment" statuses are bandied about the less and less meaning they actually have.

I find most of the time these re-posted statuses are used by people who have no mind or originality of their own. They're normally a bit common as well and can't spell for toffee.

Yes I know I put 'your' not 'you're' - I wanted to convey how lame those status updates are.

pugamo

23-08-2012

Originally Posted by BobbyMcGee:
“Iv got one, most nights "me on sofa x me going to sleep on here tonight x snuggly wuggly time x" and aways refers to herself as "me". This woman is probably in her mid 40s.”

Holy Moses

what a creep

Custardtart

23-08-2012

I have one friend of a friend who constantly updates us on her party lifestyle and all "the lash " .Now I know how flaming annoying I used to be a few years ago! I suspect no one cared how many Jagers I'd had back then .

I never update my status any more ,mainly because I don't have a life.

Trsvis_Bickle

23-08-2012

Originally Posted by DianaFire:
“According to Snopes it goes back even further than that. Perhaps you should post this link next time it comes up on your feed: http://www.snopes.com/travel/airline/obnoxious.asp.”

If only people bothered to consult Snopes before repeating these absurd urban myths. With so much rubbish on the internet, Snopes should be a well-known source but hardly anyone I know has even heard of it.

Trsvis_Bickle

23-08-2012

Originally Posted by Jambo_c:
“What's with all the pictures of ill kids recently?

"Like this picture to support little Gary's fight against cancer."

I can imagine little Gary sat at home (if he indeed exists, which I doubt) saying "Wow! 100,000 people liked a photo of me, that makes dying of cancer so much easier. If only 'likes' were money I'd be able to go to Seaworld".

The only person liking crap like this helps is yourself as it makes you feel like you've done something. Why not actually do something and make a small donation to a cancer charity?”

Excellent!

This is the best thread on DS; it gives you all the fun of laughing at saddos on facebook without having to put up with these ghastly people yourself.

mrsmoose

23-08-2012

Originally Posted by Ashenpimento:
“do you think they meant to say

STILL Can't believe Jans dead. Rip?”

Yeah that would have made more sense

Libitina

23-08-2012

Originally Posted by mrsmoose:
“Once of my friends who likes getting sympathy

"Rip Jan, thoughts are your family"

few hours later

"Can't believe Jans still dead. Rip"”

Sorry, but that made me laugh

munta

23-08-2012

Originally Posted by mrsmoose:
“Once of my friends who likes getting sympathy

"Rip Jan, thoughts are your family"

few hours later

"Can't believe Jans still dead. Rip"”

Should have replied with 'when is jan expected to become a zombie?'

decobelle

23-08-2012

My friend has just wished her son a happy 4 month Birthaversary - this is one that puts every week that 'time is flying' and she can't believe he's 1 week, 2 weeks, 2 and a half weeks...well, you get it.

Odd Socks

23-08-2012

Originally Posted by mrsmoose:
“
"Can't believe Jans still dead. Rip"”

Ohmygosh!

fizzle90

23-08-2012

Some girl just posted a photo of her boyfriend with two tampons in his mouth. Caption: "Martin wiv tampons in his mouth don't know why lol lol"

How do I know these people?!

Alan1981

23-08-2012

Another annoying post I have seen lately is that someone is having a friend clear out. If you don't like their post you will be one of those poor souls who gets deleted.

mrsmoose

23-08-2012

Originally Posted by Libitina:
“Sorry, but that made me laugh ”

Thank God someone else said that! Because it made me laugh too!

Smiley433

23-08-2012

"Thanks Tesco"

Someone who still does not understand Facebook scams and hopes to gain £175 from Tesco.

mrsmoose

23-08-2012

Originally Posted by Smiley433:
“"Thanks Tesco"

Someone who still does not understand Facebook scams and hopes to gain £175 from Tesco.”

Oh God, those are doing my head in. They are so obviously scams. I've had 3 people post about them (twice for each person), one was a Morrisons one too.
I can't believe people are gullible enough to fall for them.

TOONARMY12

23-08-2012

Originally Posted by fizzle90:
“Some girl just posted a photo of her boyfriend with two tampons in his mouth. Caption: "Martin wiv tampons in his mouth don't know why lol lol"

How do I know these people?!”

Let me guess they had about 100 comments underneat saying "omg thats well funny" lol lol etc

abigail1234

23-08-2012

i'm laughing so much I can hardly breathe...

Just stumbled across this thread tonight and I'm

Fantastic!

abigail1234

23-08-2012

Originally Posted by Alan1981:
“Another annoying post I have seen lately is that someone is having a friend clear out. If you don't like their post you will be one of those poor souls who gets deleted.”

Yeah, I've seen a lot of those lately and then all the posts saying "Please don't delete me!"

Mrs_G

23-08-2012

I have someone on my news feed who seems to think we would be interested in seeing photos of her new mattress and some tablets she hates taking... Did she want someone to ask her what they are for so she can get sympathy or something? Yawn.....

Another recent post by some girl was along the lines of "some of the ass lickers I work with would do a good job of this" accompanied by one of the grossest photos I have ever seen... It involved dirty underwear shall we say. WHY DID I NEED TO SEE THAT? Why would you go out of your way to google and post that?!?! Bleurrrggghh

Love this thread btw... Missing Luke and Wifey's updates!

livingdeadgirl

24-08-2012

Originally Posted by DaisyBumbleroot:
“A friend of mine has a page for his coat, his f***ing COAT!”

cannot stop laughing at this.

Nor can I stop PMSL at how someone cant believe poor old Jan's still dead. Maybe they were hoping for her to come back after a few hours.

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