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Worst Facebook status updates
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Tt88
30-10-2012
Cannot believe this one thats just come in!

A friend put on her latest holiday pics from when she went to new york a while back with her friends. Cue a comment...

"aww looks like you guys had a great time. Wish i was there right now xx"

Umm ever hear the news?
Honestweegie
30-10-2012
Originally Posted by Irishguy123:
“I'm not even friends with this person, I somehow stumbled upon her profile tonight and had to post here. There's so much material on her page

Her name is Crystal by the way ”

Says it all
nuttytigger
30-10-2012
Originally Posted by StarryNight1983:
“Oh my god what language is this ”

Originally Posted by Jason100:
“How old is she?”

Originally Posted by bookaddict:
“I'd probably have more to say about that, if I understood the language it was written in!? ”

She is a 27 year old mother of two. She went to the same school as me!

If I have a spelling mistake in my updates I usually delete them.

P.S I have no clue what it says!
Irishguy123
30-10-2012
Im sxcii nd ii no it free style Yh biotchez when ii was walkin down cork city the girlz gor jel the boyz mouths fell ii flicked my hair flatterd my lashes gave them cork people aa reason to stare so baby Boy dont prendent you dont want it your hypnotized as ii flaunt it well geuss what looser you couldov had it you had my heart you let it go you thought you were aa player even aa pro ,, well youve lost me now im too good for you ii dnt care for you no more ! Nxt time an opertunity comes around yu may grab it now off you GO ! Living ing up sxcii free and single they say whats ment to be will find its way well me nd yu were never gona stay !!xx

Another one from Crystal
Trsvis_Bickle
30-10-2012
Originally Posted by Kiko H Fan:
“"sleep wiv da angels".”

Traditionally spelt "sleep wiv da angles"
Trsvis_Bickle
30-10-2012
Originally Posted by Irishguy123:
“Im sxcii nd ii no it free style Yh biotchez when ii was walkin down cork city the girlz gor jel the boyz mouths fell ii flicked my hair flatterd my lashes gave them cork people aa reason to stare so baby Boy dont prendent you dont want it your hypnotized as ii flaunt it well geuss what looser you couldov had it you had my heart you let it go you thought you were aa player even aa pro ,, well youve lost me now im too good for you ii dnt care for you no more ! Nxt time an opertunity comes around yu may grab it now off you GO ! Living ing up sxcii free and single they say whats ment to be will find its way well me nd yu were never gona stay !!xx

Another one from Crystal ”

Sweet Jesus! It's like trying to solve cryptic crossword clues. Does 'them cork people' simply mean 'people in the town of Cork' or is this another piece of Jafaican street slang that's passed me by?
Irishguy123
30-10-2012
Originally Posted by Trsvis_Bickle:
“Sweet Jesus! It's like trying to solve cryptic crossword clues. Does 'them cork people' simply mean 'people in the town of Cork' or is this another piece of Jafaican street slang that's passed me by?”

No one knows, I'm afraid. No one knows... *shakes head sadly*
Ashenpimento
30-10-2012
Originally Posted by Irishguy123:
“Im sxcii nd ii no it free style Yh biotchez when ii was walkin down cork city the girlz gor jel the boyz mouths fell ii flicked my hair flatterd my lashes gave them cork people aa reason to stare so baby Boy dont prendent you dont want it your hypnotized as ii flaunt it well geuss what looser you couldov had it you had my heart you let it go you thought you were aa player even aa pro ,, well youve lost me now im too good for you ii dnt care for you no more ! Nxt time an opertunity comes around yu may grab it now off you GO ! Living ing up sxcii free and single they say whats ment to be will find its way well me nd yu were never gona stay !!xx

Another one from Crystal ”

you know its bad when you give up through boredom before you get to the end.....

i guess that sxcii is sexy? why is it longer than the original word?
Custardtart
30-10-2012
Originally Posted by Irishguy123:
“Im sxcii nd ii no it free style Yh biotchez when ii was walkin down cork city the girlz gor jel the boyz mouths fell ii flicked my hair flatterd my lashes gave them cork people aa reason to stare so baby Boy dont prendent you dont want it your hypnotized as ii flaunt it well geuss what looser you couldov had it you had my heart you let it go you thought you were aa player even aa pro ,, well youve lost me now im too good for you ii dnt care for you no more ! Nxt time an opertunity comes around yu may grab it now off you GO ! Living ing up sxcii free and single they say whats ment to be will find its way well me nd yu were never gona stay !!xx

Another one from Crystal ”

"I am an attractive , I am loose and so are my friends when we walk through the city of cork other females are jealous and males lose control of their jaws ..." Oh bugger it I give up!
StarryNight1983
30-10-2012
Originally Posted by Irishguy123:
“Im sxcii nd ii no it free style Yh biotchez when ii was walkin down cork city the girlz gor jel the boyz mouths fell ii flicked my hair flatterd my lashes gave them cork people aa reason to stare so baby Boy dont prendent you dont want it your hypnotized as ii flaunt it well geuss what looser you couldov had it you had my heart you let it go you thought you were aa player even aa pro ,, well youve lost me now im too good for you ii dnt care for you no more ! Nxt time an opertunity comes around yu may grab it now off you GO ! Living ing up sxcii free and single they say whats ment to be will find its way well me nd yu were never gona stay !!xx

Another one from Crystal ”

It's taken me nearly 20 mins to read this

I think she's trying to explain she's free and easy but I think she got carried away lol
Alan1981
30-10-2012
Originally Posted by Irishguy123:
“Im sxcii nd ii no it free style Yh biotchez when ii was walkin down cork city the girlz gor jel the boyz mouths fell ii flicked my hair flatterd my lashes gave them cork people aa reason to stare so baby Boy dont prendent you dont want it your hypnotized as ii flaunt it well geuss what looser you couldov had it you had my heart you let it go you thought you were aa player even aa pro ,, well youve lost me now im too good for you ii dnt care for you no more ! Nxt time an opertunity comes around yu may grab it now off you GO ! Living ing up sxcii free and single they say whats ment to be will find its way well me nd yu were never gona stay !!xx

Another one from Crystal ”

If only the Germans had access to this sort of encryption during WW2. We would have been sunk.
kupo_nut
30-10-2012
Originally Posted by Jambo_c:
“I think fraping is OK if you're imaginative with it and don't just go with the usual gay ones.

I always thought that rather than fraping it's better to mess around with their settings and change it so that nobody can actually see their posts. Bet they'd spend days wondering why nobody was liking or replying to any of their statuses.”

One of the best frapes I ever saw was 'that was a fantastic wank, I should get the family album out more often'

Even the bloke who was fraped liked it!
Jason100
30-10-2012
I've had a few surprise pregnancy announcements on my news feed recently and they're not your typical facebook announcements with baby scans every few months.

One couple managed to keep their pregnancy off facebook right until after the birth and shared only one group picture with themselves and the baby. I didn't even know this friend was expecting until i saw a picture of the new born and two other pregnancies through the news feed. Again one surprising and another not so surprising.
longzheng
30-10-2012
I confess to being guilty of posting the occasional ridiculous status updates!
unknown17
31-10-2012
Someone from a college course, he was a complete moron and everything he posts his badly spelled gibberish. Here's his latest status.

"I have somthing funey to do for hallawen jupe out at pepule knking youer door with a gun shoting in to the air with boold all over with some on the flower dead but thay are not ralley dead and see how meny pepule call 999"

Julian-Freak
31-10-2012
Originally Posted by longzheng:
“I confess to being guilty of posting the occasional ridiculous status updates! ”

I had to retire from FB tonight, because I was posting geeky posts everywhere. From a nightmare before christmas to The Big bang theory. You are not alone.
annette kurten
31-10-2012
Originally Posted by Irishguy123:
“Im sxcii nd ii no it free style Yh biotchez when ii was walkin down cork city the girlz gor jel the boyz mouths fell ii flicked my hair flatterd my lashes gave them cork people aa reason to stare so baby Boy dont prendent you dont want it your hypnotized as ii flaunt it well geuss what looser you couldov had it you had my heart you let it go you thought you were aa player even aa pro ,, well youve lost me now im too good for you ii dnt care for you no more ! Nxt time an opertunity comes around yu may grab it now off you GO ! Living ing up sxcii free and single they say whats ment to be will find its way well me nd yu were never gona stay !!xx

Another one from Crystal ”



surely that should be "boi"? pull her up on her spelling.
StarryNight1983
31-10-2012
Originally Posted by annette kurten:
“

surely that should be "boi"? pull her up on her spelling.”

Hahahah that really made me laugh
francie
31-10-2012
Originally Posted by Tt88:
“Cannot believe this one thats just come in!

A friend put on her latest holiday pics from when she went to new york a while back with her friends. Cue a comment...

"aww looks like you guys had a great time. Wish i was there right now xx"

Umm ever hear the news?”

...
buffyslay
31-10-2012
Originally Posted by Alan1981:
“If only the Germans had access to this sort of encryption during WW2. We would have been sunk.”

I wish there was a LIKE button!!!
hammerfan
31-10-2012
I love this thread - it's nice to know that we all have these people (or links to these people) on our facebook accounts.
Libitina
31-10-2012
Originally Posted by Westy2:
“God I hate text speak.”

It must be my age (42), but it takes me 4 times longer to decipher that than to read a properly constructed sentence. It would probably take me 10 times longer to type like that too.
Schadenfreud
31-10-2012
Originally Posted by solarflare:
“Ask them why the capitalisation of every word? What does it add? Apart from extra time typing it...”

My daughter has a degree and is currently doing her Masters,(just to prove she's not thick) but she does this (only on FB) and it drives me nuts.
I've asked her why and she says it's just a bit of fun. The fact that she's doing Psychology makes me wonder if it's some sort of experiment though.
mrsmoose
31-10-2012
Originally Posted by Libitina:
“It must be my age (42), but it takes me 4 times longer to decipher that than to read a properly constructed sentence. It would probably take me 10 times longer to type like that too. ”

I'm 28 and have no idea what people I went to school with are on about Especially when they type they're status in text form but with a barnsley "accent"
mrsmoose
31-10-2012
One of my fb friends has just posted about her "princess" eating her own poo from her nappy Bleugh! D
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