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Worst Facebook status updates


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Old 30-01-2012, 21:10
Jessicala07
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A girl I used to work with has just popped back up on FB after deactivating her account and having a baby. Her partner now has 7 children with 7 different women. They have now spilt up.
Every day it's
" y don't e want mi and mi babz"
"mi and babz are bored ne1 wanna tak mi out 2nyt" A girl wrote she was free and wanted to meet up, my "friend" wrote "na" two minutes later "ne1 free 2nyt".
I also have another "friend" who posted the DNA results of her baby on Facebook. She has now deactivated her account after announcing all her fb friends are "going behind mi back".
I find these funny rather than annoying.
I also have the "love my baby so much, can't breath when he ain't here" and they have been together 5 minutes.
I also have one friend, who is actually quite normal in real life who announces one month that she is lonely and wants a boyfriend.
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Old 30-01-2012, 21:26
funnyhair
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Has anyone noticed that it seems to be mostly the women/girls who post the crap that's mentioned in this thread?
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Old 30-01-2012, 21:28
GOGO2
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Someone I've just deleted http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?...140393&sk=wall

I think he was on my friend list 2 days. Just read down his wall without vomiting if you can
Bloody hell!! How did you meet this person?

The guns in his mobile upload pics are a little worrying. I'm sure she'll wait for him though, when he's doing time for shooting her big toe off.
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Old 30-01-2012, 21:30
rosco2010
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Looking foreward to my litracey test tomorra.
Unbelievable.
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Old 30-01-2012, 21:32
trinity2002
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I have one FB friend who seemed to have some kind of obsession with her husband's nuts. Now they've split up her updates seem to be pretty much restricted to what she's playing on the XBox and how little clothing she's wearing whilst doing so.

The thing is, she's actually really nice and comes across very different in RL.
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Old 30-01-2012, 22:23
sam.hall13
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Stupid things like those mentioned in the various posts are the reason why i deleted my page from FB, i have better things to bore me rigid than the silly rantings of the terminally stupid.
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Old 31-01-2012, 00:29
Galinda
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Any sickly, vomit-inducing update about how wonderful someone's bastard offspring is.
LOL I hate people harping on about their kids. Have a "friend" on there at the moment who never speaks of anything else and posts hundreds of pictures of the baby Then plenty of others keeping everyone updated on their pregnancies. So boring.

I also hate people who post vague "oh woe is me" status' and so causing people to reply asking what is wrong blah blah blah. Just shut the f**k up!!

People who go on about how drunk they got last night wind me up too. They always tend to post 100s of pictures too. They must have had a great night!

People who wish dead relatives/their kids/people not on facebook wind me up too!

Status' that I actually like are witty ones - funny stories, sarcastic comments, observations made on train journeys etc.

I only ever leave 'happy' status'. What's the point of being miserable? Life's too short.
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Old 31-01-2012, 08:53
podgicus
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LOL I hate people harping on about their kids. Have a "friend" on there at the moment who never speaks of anything else and posts hundreds of pictures of the baby Then plenty of others keeping everyone updated on their pregnancies. So boring.

I also hate people who post vague "oh woe is me" status' and so causing people to reply asking what is wrong blah blah blah. Just shut the f**k up!!

People who go on about how drunk they got last night wind me up too. They always tend to post 100s of pictures too. They must have had a great night!

People who wish dead relatives/their kids/people not on facebook wind me up too!

Status' that I actually like are witty ones - funny stories, sarcastic comments, observations made on train journeys etc.

I only ever leave 'happy' status'. What's the point of being miserable? Life's too short.

That annoys me. Its even more frustrating when you're on a night out with these people. They spend the whole time taking photos and not actually doing anything else. It's the same as at gigs.. people who watch the whole thing on a phone camera rather than actually watch the performance.
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Old 31-01-2012, 10:12
makavelli132
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People who go out on the piss... then the next morning it is:

'OMG I am sooo hungover... I feel like im going to die!!!'

No sh1t sherlock.... What do you want? An award?
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Old 31-01-2012, 10:21
Jason100
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That annoys me. Its even more frustrating when you're on a night out with these people. They spend the whole time taking photos and not actually doing anything else. It's the same as at gigs.. people who watch the whole thing on a phone camera rather than actually watch the performance.
I've seen it in a few albums of my friends where the phrase "i don't remember this being taken" regulary comes up.

Status' that I actually like are witty ones - funny stories, sarcastic comments, observations made on train journeys etc.
I have a relative who does this and they never fail to make me laugh, it's the way they word their status.
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Old 31-01-2012, 10:33
dslrocks
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That annoys me. Its even more frustrating when you're on a night out with these people. They spend the whole time taking photos and not actually doing anything else. It's the same as at gigs.. people who watch the whole thing on a phone camera rather than actually watch the performance.
And the thing is - none of the photos they take are any good! They're badly composed, at a wierd angle, flash is always on regardless etc

I was once at a gig and there was this girl in front of me who when every song started, her arm with a blackberry in hand (complete with annoying flashing red light) would come up above the crowd, like a periscope, and would start recording on her phone. Then, when the song finished, it would go down again. I kid you not, it was the most annoying thing as it kept blocking the view of the stage.
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Old 31-01-2012, 17:05
SuperAPJ
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Luke [xxxx] **i know there is a link, but not sure we can put their names on..
23 Years Young
Loves Rachael [xxxx] Always And Forever 10-06-2011
Engaged 09-07-2011
They got engaged after less than a month of being together?!

anyone going to post a link to this thread on his account?
I hope so!
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Old 31-01-2012, 18:10
cutekitty7686
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Hangover updates I hate !
Which normally is " omg so hungover never again " then from same person " day 4 of hangover from weekend omg never again" then you guessed it the weekend arrives and "can't wait to hit the town gonna get so wasted " and then groundhog day starts with the hangover again .

Spam when you click on links for free stuff which clearly is a virus then have the status of "guys my fb been hacked don't click on link " it would be ok if one off but the same people do it again and again !
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Old 31-01-2012, 18:27
gulliverfoyle
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delete your account and talk to real people
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Old 31-01-2012, 18:56
rose&ribbon
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This one boy on my page posted

"girls who do not look like cheryl cole (Even with a picture the great lady ) Is a Munter"


a little ironic as he is not attractive and neither is his GF.
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Old 31-01-2012, 19:12
Trsvis_Bickle
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I wouldn't be surprised to discover that both of their parents are related. The guy comes across as a right waste of space in his photos; pictures of him dressed in ned gear, photos of guns he has (wonder if he legally owns them), England tattoos, dangerous looking dogs etc.
That's hilarious You don't think they have learning difficulties or something, do you?

Quote:

NUNIGHT HUBBY MISSING YOU LOADS AND LOVE YOU BILLIONS AND WIV ALL MY HEART AND MORE DEN WORDS CAN SAY AND MORE DEN LIFE

Surely it's "dan", not "den" FFS!?

I'm sure that relationships like this end up on the news with the closing words "before turning the gun on himself".

BTW I wouldn't worry about the "guns" on his mobile upload - they're only airguns, not firearms.
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Old 31-01-2012, 19:16
buffyslay
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That's hilarious You don't think they have learning difficulties or something, do you?

Quote:

NUNIGHT HUBBY MISSING YOU LOADS AND LOVE YOU BILLIONS AND WIV ALL MY HEART AND MORE DEN WORDS CAN SAY AND MORE DEN LIFE

Surely it's "dan", not "den" FFS!?

I'm sure that relationships like this end up on the news with the closing words "before turning the gun on himself".
oh no, its den for then....
Wiv
Nunight??
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Old 31-01-2012, 20:20
misselephant
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Like a few ohers have mentioned, the constant baby updates are the most annoying. Its shocking how many people think they have a child genius because he/she pooed in a potty way before all his/her nursery friends.

Also when people are intentionally thick... few statuses i've come accross (from the same girl)...

What's the difference between caged eggs and free range chickens ?

after 38 comments explaining the difference...

I ended up walking out of morrisons without any eggs. I couldn't decide what was the right egg

If I could go back a few years I think I'd go to Uni and become a doctor. #wasteddreams

This same girl didn't know Michael Jackson was ever black and thought Torquay was in Japan.
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Old 31-01-2012, 20:22
trinity2002
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delete your account and talk to real people
I've read worse than that
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Old 01-02-2012, 15:19
pugamo
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Today's highlight was a picture that somebody posted of their spotty back. Bleurgh!
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Old 01-02-2012, 15:36
Cherry84
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Someone I've just deleted http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?...140393&sk=wall

I think he was on my friend list 2 days. Just read down his wall without vomiting if you can
Jesus christ
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Old 01-02-2012, 15:45
vierte
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Someone I've just deleted http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?...140393&sk=wall

I think he was on my friend list 2 days. Just read down his wall without vomiting if you can
Oh my god! I actually can not believe that person is real, admit you made him up lol!

I have a girl on my fb excatly like him, She has been going out with her "finance" (her typo not mine) for 2 months, they have changed their names to excatly the same thing which is both their first names together and then his surname. They've changed their profile pictures to one they have made themselves in paint, which is a picture of her and a picture of him and then a love heart in the middle and to top it all off have went and got tattoo's with each others name on themselves.

They look like they are talking to themselves because you can't tell which post is from her and which is from him. They keep talking about how chavvy they are and then whinging about the "haters" and when they put up their tattoo pics and the girls family went mental she told them they were all "jellus haterz" because she has found true love.

It is grim, I feel bad for her kids. She's 25/6 and is acting like a 12 year old chav.
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Old 01-02-2012, 15:45
ChocFestUnited
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Oh my word!!!
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Old 01-02-2012, 15:51
vierte
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Does anyone else feel like making an account just so they can post the link of this thread to Luke's wall?
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Old 01-02-2012, 16:07
goonst
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I just had another skim over Luke's wall and oh god.

They cannot be for real.

Look at the comment chain underneath his post about the dentist.

Luke:

im glad we can nver wait aswell and it will always be this way for us babe i promise you that and your right we will always feel the sameway bout everything babe and it will never change mot ever im glad we both promise that to eachother and that will always be good with me babe promise you that and it would be better tommorow cus my tablets run out then and i have dentist on thursday babe and im glad thats all that matters to us aswell babe

Rachel:

I'm glad we feel the sameway bout that and i'm glad it will always be this way for us and i'm glad we promise eachother that babe and i'm glad we both know that we will always feel the sameway bout everything and i'm glad we know it won't ever change not ever and i'm glad we promise eachother that to baby and i'm glad it will always be gd wiv you babe and i'm glad you promise me that and that's fine babe i will stay tommorrow and i hope they sort yr tooth out and that is all that will ever matter to us babe i have no doubts bout that and thanks babe and i'm sure i will feel lot's better

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