Ensure you shout loudly at the human while they prepare your food. The closer it is to being ready, the louder you must yell. Scream as if your life depended on it while the bowl is being lowered to the ground, then sniff the food and walk away.

If the human is having people over for dinner, ensure you jump up on the table as many times as you can bear - especially if you never normally do this.

As Above, find the guests coat and sit on it. Shed as much fur as possible

hahaha!! so true!

be careful not to strain neck when eating - eat from the 1st half of the dish then sit & look at human & maybe they'll twig on to turn the dish round.

if on going the vet human is stupid enough to put your cat box on the front seat they shouldnt be surprised if you poke arm through to try and change gear and/or grab their clothing - hopefully not causing an accident in the process.

Ensure that everytime you come back inside the house, announce your arrival to the human, like as if you've been gone for ages, when in fact you've only been outside for a few seconds just to seek attention.

The room the human sleeps in is called the bedroom, they think it's theirs, in fact it's your room, it's your safe zone and you're just letting the human borrow it.

When you are about to vomit, carpet is best for this as it's hard for the human to clean up afterwards, and most of all importance if your right by an open external door. Don't go out and vomit as the human won't be grateful for you saving them doing any extra cleaning

Love them!