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Emma Chawner - the new Jade Goody? (Part 9)


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Old 30-03-2012, 07:48
alfiewozere
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There is a disturbing message on Chawners facebook page which seems to be from them and refers to their sexy bodies (as Chico's song on Dancing on Ice) Do you think they really believe this refers to them. !!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sexy and I know It? Oh dear me.

Fortunately, the Chawners aren't the ones behind that page, Phil has been stamping his pudgy feet and huffing and puffing about the imposters pretending to be them. Quite why anyone would pretend to be a Chawner baffles me.

Although I do wonder where the DS poster emmaxf has vanished to - she did a sterling job of being fake Emma, until she was busted, on twitter, by the real Emma Chawner. And I still find myself sniggering at Emma's comment about it being the downside of fame, having people impersonating her all the time.
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Old 30-03-2012, 08:30
hammerfan
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Spoken like a true Chawner!
I don't know if I should be offended or pleased?

Alfie - that comment by Emma always makes me smile - does she not realise she's not famous? I bet more people could name big brother contestants than the family Chawn.
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Old 30-03-2012, 10:21
greengran
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What, the Divine Miss Chawner not famous? She is, she's famous for her bad temper, lack of work ethic, delusions of being somebody and just generally not being a very nice person.She's certainly not as famous as Jade Goody was ,she was a hard worker who took every opportunity given to her and ran with it.
In a year or so people will be saying'emma who?' and all the Chawners will be forgotten, unless they astound us by finally losing weight and cleaning up their act .Then the tv crew might be interested in them again.
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Old 30-03-2012, 19:10
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This thread is sinking faster than the titanic. Poor chawners. Not even famous enough for digital spy.
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Old 30-03-2012, 19:49
lotty27
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This thread is sinking faster than the titanic. Poor chawners. Not even famous enough for digital spy.
What? But .... but .... but ..... THEY'RE SO FAMOUS!



(well, in Emma's and Phil's heads anyway )
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Old 30-03-2012, 20:25
alfiewozere
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What? But .... but .... but ..... THEY'RE SO FAMOUS!



(well, in Emma's and Phil's heads anyway )
This thread will NEVER die.

Or will it? I must admit it is becoming harder and harder to sustain an interest in a family that do absolutely bog all. I might pop over to Phil's facebook wall and see what the dear man is wittering on about tonight.

I wonder if the ex-magistrate neighbour, the one that Phil reckons pretends to be disabled but secretly isn't, (just like the him) is still the hot topic of conversation?
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Old 30-03-2012, 20:40
alfiewozere
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Phil has refused to respond to this fantastic idea from one of his facebook friends, I wonder why?

"Phil, what you and your family need to do is make your own videos and put them on Youtube to show what total liars Bio were. Most modern phones can take video these days.
Show the world the truth about the Chawners!"
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Old 30-03-2012, 20:45
greengran
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Phil has refused to respond to this fantastic idea from one of his facebook friends, I wonder why?

"Phil, what you and your family need to do is make your own videos and put them on Youtube to show what total liars Bio were. Most modern phones can take video these days.
Show the world the truth about the Chawners!"
The world knows the truth about the Chawners, they couldn't show us anything different.Phil's gone awfully quiet about his seeing Bio for misrepresentation hasn't he?
In fact he's gone awfully quiet altogether, it must be the threat of Court hanging over him, even though he didn't do anything, after all 'It's not their fault'!
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Old 30-03-2012, 22:04
alfiewozere
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The world knows the truth about the Chawners, they couldn't show us anything different.Phil's gone awfully quiet about his seeing Bio for misrepresentation hasn't he?
In fact he's gone awfully quiet altogether, it must be the threat of Court hanging over him, even though he didn't do anything, after all 'It's not their fault'!
This whole disorderly conduct business should be kept off facebook.

If me and my family got fined 80 each for swearing in the street, and we had video evidence to prove we were elsewhere at the time, I wouldn't be creating merry hell about it on facebook. I'd be down Citizen's Advice, contacting a solicitor for free legal advice and dealing with the police directly.

What I wouldn't do is take covert video footage of the person I thought had reported me, then tell the world and his wife I thought they were a benefits cheat.

Phil Chawner is definitely a chicken portion short of a KFC family bucket. I know it's not it's fault, but he was last in the queue when they were handing out intelligence, wasn't he?
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Old 31-03-2012, 01:56
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Phil Chawner is definitely a chicken portion short of a KFC family bucket. I know it's not it's fault, but he was last in the queue when they were handing out intelligence, wasn't he?

I'm not sure Phil knew there was a queue, much less could be bothered to stand in it
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Old 31-03-2012, 11:23
alfiewozere
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I'm not sure Phil knew there was a queue, much less could be bothered to stand in it
He can't stand for long, he's got bad legs, it's the lorry diabetic and it's not his fault.

All together now:

"I can't feel my fingers
I can't feel my toes
Diabetic neuropathy all around me
And so the feeling goes"
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Old 31-03-2012, 12:08
tally
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He can't stand for long, he's got bad legs, it's the lorry diabetic and it's not his fault.

All together now:

"I can't feel my fingers
I can't feel my toes
Diabetic neuropathy all around me
And so the feeling goes"
Haha. That's the best version of that song I've heard. I got SO sick of it when it stayed in the charts for a gazillion weeks.

Poor Chawners have probably got no posh phones now, let alone ones that take videos. After all, it's not their fault that they've had their money cut and had to lose their Sky.

They can get a phone like mine, 10 pay-as-you-go from Asda. I put a tenner in about a year ago and think I've got about 7 left. It's for emergency use only, as you can tell. I've got to grips with most new technology but mobile phones defeat me. I could make a comedy sitcom about me trying to send a text!

How would Philth manage without ringing Princess and Sam up every 5 minutes checking to see they are up to no hanky panky? He'd genuinely make himself ill with the stress of it.
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Old 31-03-2012, 12:18
alfiewozere
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Haha. That's the best version of that song I've heard. I got SO sick of it when it stayed in the charts for a gazillion weeks.

Poor Chawners have probably got no posh phones now, let alone ones that take videos. After all, it's not their fault that they've had their money cut and had to lose their Sky.

They can get a phone like mine, 10 pay-as-you-go from Asda. I put a tenner in about a year ago and think I've got about 7 left. It's for emergency use only, as you can tell. I've got to grips with most new technology but mobile phones defeat me. I could make a comedy sitcom about me trying to send a text!

How would Philth manage without ringing Princess and Sam up every 5 minutes checking to see they are up to no hanky panky? He'd genuinely make himself ill with the stress of it.
You've got a Smart Price phone instead of a Smart phone - superb. Phil and co should take heed.

I never could work out how Emma could afford an iphone, she must have it on a contract and the cheapest is about 25 a month - how does someone with zero income afford it? I wonder if it was one of the 'payments in kind' from Bio, so it wouldn't muck up their money?
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Old 01-04-2012, 00:47
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You've got a Smart Price phone instead of a Smart phone - superb. Phil and co should take heed.

I never could work out how Emma could afford an iphone, she must have it on a contract and the cheapest is about 25 a month - how does someone with zero income afford it? I wonder if it was one of the 'payments in kind' from Bio, so it wouldn't muck up their money?
Evidently Asda offers Smart Price bras now too, I saw them mentioned in a thread in the advice forum here on DS.
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Old 01-04-2012, 09:17
greengran
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Evidently Asda offers Smart Price bras now too, I saw them mentioned in a thread in the advice forum here on DS.
And Smart Price knickers, but They don't do ones large enough for Sam and Emma. I've often wondered where they buy their clothes and underwear.
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Old 01-04-2012, 09:38
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Maybe Philip makes them?
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Old 01-04-2012, 11:11
mrs.deschanel
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Having seen the colour of Aud's bra I doubt finding new undies is a big priority. She must have had it for donkeys years. Bravissimo does bras up to a size L (!).
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Old 01-04-2012, 14:20
Simi89
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Haha talking of Audrey's bra, remember Phil's comment about her not wearing her bra and her nipples showing or something?
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Old 01-04-2012, 15:27
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Haha talking of Audrey's bra, remember Phil's comment about her not wearing her bra and her nipples showing or something?
Thank you for ruining my meal Simi.

Talking of food, though, I've just discovered a job for Audrey in the culinary line:

http://www.nydailynews.com/life-styl...icle-1.1053444
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Old 01-04-2012, 16:00
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Maybe Philip makes them?
That would mean he'd have to measure the girls
~shudder~
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Old 01-04-2012, 16:30
alfiewozere
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That would mean he'd have to measure the girls
~shudder~
And he wouldn't use a tape measure either...


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Old 01-04-2012, 16:32
mrs.deschanel
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That would mean he'd have to measure the girls
~shudder~
So that's why he groped Emma. It wasn't a pervy old man feeling up his daughter at all. He was just measuring her cup size to make her a bra. Well that's solved that mystery of why he'd feel his daughter's boob in front of a camera.
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Old 01-04-2012, 16:45
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*heave* :O
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Old 01-04-2012, 18:17
alfiewozere
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So that's why he groped Emma. It wasn't a pervy old man feeling up his daughter at all. He was just measuring her cup size to make her a bra. Well that's solved that mystery of why he'd feel his daughter's boob in front of a camera.
Sadly, I think you may be right. Phizzle the Chawn is not a nice man.
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Old 01-04-2012, 18:44
Mehitabel
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Is it still quiet on the Chawnbook Front? Wonder what is up with the Flab Four?
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