[tenorlady]

Originally Posted by tonywilson

This is what really bugs me about Emma, she acts like a 13 year old brat who's craving for attention.

At her age she should be with a regular boyfriend and thinking about getting engaged and maybe having a child. In my opinion most people in their early 20s should have moved out of home and have their own place or be sharing with friends.

She really hasn't been raised with the skills to live in the real world, I don't know what she's going to do when Pa Chawner pops his clogs and she has to make a life of her own

I think she'll take up the mantle of ill-health and live a half life, like her parents have done, on benefits, passing the time watching television, tweeting celebrities and reminding all and sundry that she was once on the X Factor.

She already has numerous health issues, and she smokes, which will only exacerbate things.

I would hope that seeing her parents 'disabled' by their obesity would be motivation enough for her not to want the same outcome, but she doesn't seem to see it that way at all.

It's almost as if she admires her father for his obesity-related ailments and consequent inability to get a job. The fact he gets an income for doing absolutely nothing is possibly something she aspires to, instead of having ambition to do something worthwhile with her life.

[tenorlady]

Originally Posted by lozenger

I can't remember what happened in France? Can you provide a brief summary?

There's a bit about the French trip here http://www.people.co.uk/news/uk-worl...3463-21938344/

Basically the woman who ran the place asked Emma politely not to smoke in the house, which Emma promptly ignored, thus causing the woman to become very upset. Emma thought it was hysterically funny and couldn't see why her smoking was such a problem. They were staying at a very expensive health farm, where the emphasis was on clean living, eating well, exercising etc and Emma disregarded everything so she could sneak off and have a fag.

[LilAud]

Having seen the speed at which our Aud shifted herself during Skipgate - I am not sure how she qualifies for higher rate mobility. She should be on the low rate (which is about £20 per week) as she is perfectly capable of walking and at speed

[mrs.deschanel]

I think she'd get it for not being to walk 100 yards without her inhaler. I've seen people jump out of motability cars after sticking their blue badge on and jog off so she's not unusual. Don't forget if she is left alone she'll have a fit and crack her head open and die which is why Phil can't work (just go off and leave her all day while he's in Blackpool). They may not be the sharpest but they know how to fill in claim forms for free money and how to exaggerate illnesses for sympathy and extra cash.

[Simi89]

If the DWP saw Aud during Skipgate I think she may have some difficult questions to answer. Suggests laziness is the problem not her health primarily.

She was foaming at the mouth with outrage when her care component was decreased, imagine if her mobility component was too. not good.

[hammerfan]

Originally Posted by Simi89

If the DWP saw Aud during Skipgate I think she may have some difficult questions to answer. Suggests laziness is the problem not her health primarily.

She was foaming at the mouth with outrage when her care component was decreased, imagine if her mobility component was too. not good.

I think they should be sent the complete series to see what the family can do when there's a camera on them

[greengran]

Originally Posted by LilAud

well I have just watched the first 10 mins of the Chawners first series.

Sam was 27 st - so she has lost a bit. They were claiming £25 in benefits, which will be higher now, but Aud did lose higher rate DLA care and is now only on moderate.

Notice that Audrey was emphatic that they were going to lose weight, but there was just the hint of a smirk when she said it - hindsight maybe.

Phil was 18 stone at 15 and used to go home and have a pound of sausages and ketchup for tea. It was Mark11 distribution that he used to work for before getting the lorry diabetes.

Hope that helps with those without HD.

I will try and keep you updated - until you tell me to stop lol!!

Originally Posted by hammerfan

I think they should be sent the complete series to see what the family can do when there's a camera on them

That's a good idea, Mrs D can copy them to DVD and send them to the DWP annomously with a note saying ' they're pulling the wool over your eyes!'

[mrs.deschanel]

I think the DWP would be swamped with complaints about them from irrate tax payers already. Unfortunately Aud's asthma and having to crawl upstairs means she can claim for day time care and help getting around. I've seen loads of people the same stuffing their faces and lying around claiming their free money, free house and free healthcare. The Chawners aren't unique. I processed DLA claims for a while and you'd be shocked at what people get away with. Imagine Aud on a bus if the car went - she'd not fit in the seat, no one would want to be near her seeing as her beloved husband leaves her to stink and get mouldy and then she'd nod off. Not that she ever goes anywhere. Phil can claim the car to take her to hospital for peanut removal and mildew repair, collecting her meds and doing her food shopping. I doubt that man does anything else for her at all. Two hours until more Chawnathon - today Aud mistakes trifle for one of her five a day.

[Loopzilla]

I've made a fantastic discovery. I hadn't actually seen the first two episodes. It's like the time I bit into a chunky kitKat and it was all chocolate. Unexpected pleasures!

Phil's Hawaiian shirt in episode 1 was a treat. And in episode 2, Audrey unknowingly scraping a wedge of plaque off her teeth while she was counting them. Pleasant.

By the way, my dog has just done an Audrey while walking up the stairs. He was most pleased with himself.

[mrs.deschanel]

HD nasal hair Aud's beard is almost as bad. I'd forgotten about the two of them looking for fruit in the fridge and Phil suggesting watermelon with Raspberry Ripple . Series one and two are pure comedy gold.

[LilAud]

Oh it was awful. Phil saying he only cleans his teeth a couple of times a week, the state of Aud's mouth. The only veg Phil could think of was lettuce and then remembered cauliflower. Aud with her baked potato and cheese. Emma saying she was an adult and she was being treated like a baby. Saying she would rather go to the gym and do it herself than being told what to do. Which begs the question - why hasn't she been to the gym already? Phil and Aud looked relieved when told they couldn't do strenuous exercise - however, I think they missed the 'strenuous' not 'no' exercise. Both of them sat there saying there is nothing to do as the tv wasn't very good - refusing help with the pedometers 'cos they didn't really want to have to use them.

Oh dear, oh dear - all the signs were there in the first 2 episodes weren't they.

Rant over

[tally]

Originally Posted by Loopzilla

I've made a fantastic discovery. I hadn't actually seen the first two episodes. It's like the time I bit into a chunky kitKat and it was all chocolate. Unexpected pleasures!

Phil's Hawaiian shirt in episode 1 was a treat. And in episode 2, Audrey unknowingly scraping a wedge of plaque off her teeth while she was counting them. Pleasant.

By the way, my dog has just done an Audrey while walking up the stairs. He was most pleased with himself.

I'm getting nearly as much pleasure reading your and Little Aud's accounts as if I was watching it myself.

I too have a dog who can and does imitate Aud. Noseplugs necessary, except IT'S NOT HIS FAULT The surgeon nicked a tendon while he was undergoing major orthopaedic surgery as a puppy. It's left him with a very floppy tail and a huge capacity for farts!!

[mrs.deschanel]

You're right LilAud - the signs were all there all along - we deluded souls just felt sorry for them seeing as they are a bit intellectually challenged and have so many illnesses. Aud's teeth were just nasty - who goes around with rotting stumps in their mouth when their dental care is free?? My dentist costs a fortune but we pay it because I want to keep my teeth. If I got everything for free like that lot I'd be going even more often than I do now.

I felt sorry for Sam today - she was struggling to read. I think Emma is the more intelligent one of the two not that she's a brainbox or anything, just not as dim as the rest of them.

[LilAud]

Originally Posted by mrs.deschanel

You're right LilAud - the signs were all there all along - we deluded souls just felt sorry for them seeing as they are a bit intellectually challenged and have so many illnesses. Aud's teeth were just nasty - who goes around with rotting stumps in their mouth when their dental care is free?? My dentist costs a fortune but we pay it because I want to keep my teeth. If I got everything for free like that lot I'd be going even more often than I do now.

I felt sorry for Sam today - she was struggling to read. I think Emma is the more intelligent one of the two not that she's a brainbox or anything, just not as dim as the rest of them.

I am still struggling to work out whether Phil and Aud are intellectually challenged, bone idle or just playing us all

[lotty27]

Originally Posted by mrs.deschanel

The car is paid for with mobility allowance which Aud would get due to her not being able to get around. If by chance she managed to get off her arse I'm sure Phil would have his leg chopped off so they wouldn't get their money mucked up. Generally you pay a deposit type thing but if you are on benefits and can't that's a freebie. For their S Max it would be around £2K for an entry level model. Otherwise it's fuel only they'd pay for BUT the car payments come from their benefits so if they didn't have the car they'd have the 50 odd quid a week instead to help Aud get around. So it's not quite free (even though it is in a way) because they make payments directly from what they claim for poor old Aud to get out and about (don't laugh ). The tax is free but is meant to be for Aud not for Phil to drive the girls to Tesco, although that is getting things for the disabled person so they'd get away with it.

Thanks for that info So it's win-win for them either way isn't it? If they don't get the car they get more money!

Originally Posted by tenorlady

I think she'll take up the mantle of ill-health and live a half life, like her parents have done, on benefits, passing the time watching television, tweeting celebrities and reminding all and sundry that she was once on the X Factor.

She already has numerous health issues, and she smokes, which will only exacerbate things.

I would hope that seeing her parents 'disabled' by their obesity would be motivation enough for her not to want the same outcome, but she doesn't seem to see it that way at all.

It's almost as if she admires her father for his obesity-related ailments and consequent inability to get a job. The fact he gets an income for doing absolutely nothing is possibly something she aspires to, instead of having ambition to do something worthwhile with her life.

BIB: Very good point. But wouldn't most parents not want their children to end up like them if they were like that? Wouldn't they do their hardest to make sure that their children never made the mistakes that they made? I know quite a large woman (perhaps Emma size) who wouldn't have what she called 'crap' in her house such as crisps, biscuits, cakes etc while her kids were growing up because she said they made her fat and they weren't going to make her kids fat. She did all her 'bad' eating outside of the home e.g. in cafes (she LOVED cakes), at work etc and I'm pretty sure she had stash of 'forbidden' food locked in her bedroom! But at least she cared about her kids and they did have 'nice' stuff as occasional treats but not in the house on a day to day basis. And no, her three kids don't have a weight problem and dont seem to harbour any resentment towards her for it. She fought so her kids wouldn't end up like her even though she couldn't seem to stop eating rubbish herself I could never imagine Audrey and Phil doing this in a million years.

Originally Posted by tenorlady

There's a bit about the French trip here http://www.people.co.uk/news/uk-worl...3463-21938344/

Basically the woman who ran the place asked Emma politely not to smoke in the house, which Emma promptly ignored, thus causing the woman to become very upset. Emma thought it was hysterically funny and couldn't see why her smoking was such a problem. They were staying at a very expensive health farm, where the emphasis was on clean living, eating well, exercising etc and Emma disregarded everything so she could sneak off and have a fag.

Emma was absolutely disgusting on that trip. She has no sense of boundaries and I'm sure thinks she looks 'cool' and a bit of a rebel when she acts up rather than the spoilt, petulant brat she actually comes across as. One day she might grow up but I'm not holding my breath.

Originally Posted by Loopzilla

I've made a fantastic discovery. I hadn't actually seen the first two episodes. It's like the time I bit into a chunky kitKat and it was all chocolate. Unexpected pleasures!

Phil's Hawaiian shirt in episode 1 was a treat. And in episode 2, Audrey unknowingly scraping a wedge of plaque off her teeth while she was counting them. Pleasant.

By the way, my dog has just done an Audrey while walking up the stairs. He was most pleased with himself.

I couldn't help laughing at Phil's Hawaiian shirt Oh God! Audrey's teeth

And I loved the way he said he hoped to get back to work one day! Yes Phil, of course you do, that's why you turned down that nice lady from the florist when she offered you a couple of shifts in the last series! It was all just lip service to be on the TV.

Originally Posted by mrs.deschanel

HD nasal hair Aud's beard is almost as bad. I'd forgotten about the two of them looking for fruit in the fridge and Phil suggesting watermelon with Raspberry Ripple. Series one and two are pure comedy gold.

I couldn't help but giggle when I saw, proudly sitting on a shelf - SAUSAGES!!!! Did you notice all the bottles of drinks were full sugar not the diet version? Full sugar coke etc no wonder Audrey's teeth are rotten. Phil proudly getting his butter out that they have on their new potatoes - they don't have a clue do they?

Originally Posted by LilAud

Oh it was awful. Phil saying he only cleans his teeth a couple of times a week, the state of Aud's mouth. The only veg Phil could think of was lettuce and then remembered cauliflower. Aud with her baked potato and cheese. Emma saying she was an adult and she was being treated like a baby. Saying she would rather go to the gym and do it herself than being told what to do. Which begs the question - why hasn't she been to the gym already? Phil and Aud looked relieved when told they couldn't do strenuous exercise - however, I think they missed the 'strenuous' not 'no' exercise. Both of them sat there saying there is nothing to do as the tv wasn't very good - refusing help with the pedometers 'cos they didn't really want to have to use them.

Oh dear, oh dear - all the signs were there in the first 2 episodes weren't they.

Rant over

I might go to hell but my son and I couldn't stop laughing at Aud doing the 'strenuous' exercise - hey! She succeeding in getting out of the chair and walking across the gym and they've done some steps and he'd done some weights and she'd done the 'other ones' (?)

But you know what was quite sad? She was bigging up Phil afterwards when he said that he'd felt quite dizzy doing the weights, she was praising him saying it was good he'd done it, that he didn't give up and he did well because he wasn't 'sports minded' etc. Did he praise her in return? Did he heck! When do we ever see that sh!t praise her in that fashion? Never.

God hindsight really is a wonderful thing, I've noticed so much more this time that completely went over my head last time.

________________________________________________________

I didn't actually realise that the 2nd programme was on today! I thought it was weekly so it was a nice surprise when I got in and saw it had been recorded

How the hell did we not pick up on what Phil is like back then? My jaw hit the floor when I viewed the part where the girls were excitedly ringing home saying that they've lost 7.2lb (Sam) and 9.2lb (Emma) in a week and were rightly chuffed to bits with themselves. You couldn't make the conversation up! No wonder the viewers in NZ thought it was a wind up. You have Audrey making comments in the background while Phil is quite snappy down the phone (did they interrupt a TV programme they were watching or something?) sounding like he couldn't care less. He picked fault saying something like "how come you lost more (or it could have been 'yours is so low') when she's done more work?" - straight away playing them up against each other - divide and conquer Phil eh? (Go on Phil, keep up the support son, your doing great ) Emma is quite shocked on what I presume to be Sam's behalf calling his comment 'cheeky' a couple of times even though they've both got smiles fixed on their faces and are finding it funny - on the surface anyway. Sam then brought illness into the equation obviously trying to get on her dad's good side saying something about not to forget she had a bad stomach? At least Aud shouts from the background "that's very good!" but of course her praise is ignored with Sam eagerly asking her dad what he thought about their weight loss to which he replied "We're going to be called the fat flubs (slobs?) not you cos we're not losing f*ck all!" The girls collapse in embarrassed giggles. Would it have killed the man to say "WELL DONE?" Shining example of how selfish and childish that man is. Besides - of course Emma would lose more weight there as she refused to eat anything there childishly saying the food was 'disgusting' Didn't look disgusting to me but then I suppose it's all relative isn't it?

(Apologies as the above paragraph is a bit disjointed but trying to make sense of a Chawner conversation is like trying to wade through treacle - which the Chawns would love of course!)


I wonder if all mention of Christopher was banned in this series? They showed the old video of Phil and Aud's wedding where you could clearly see she was pregnant yet only mentioned that they'd courted for a year before marrying and that Samantha was born two years later? Poor Chris has been struck out of the family history.

[t1t3h]

Just started watching the first show, it's incredible. Audrey is 60 inches tall and has a 60 inch waist, she is as tall as she is round! She used to give her horses treats but she started eating the treats instead. Hilarious.

[lotty27]

Originally Posted by t1t3h

Just started watching the first show, it's incredible. Audrey is 60 inches tall and has a 60 inch waist, she is as tall as she is round! She used to give her horses treats but she started eating the treats instead. Hilarious.

I howled with laughter when she said with a contrite expression: "I know I shouldn't have but ........" then shrugged

One thing about this programme - it's making me like Audrey again! I just have to look at the her sitting there looking clueless and it sets me off giggling

[LilAud]

Originally Posted by lotty27

I howled with laughter when she said with a contrite expression: "I know I shouldn't have but ........" then shrugged

One thing about this programme - it's making me like Audrey again! I just have to look at the her sitting there looking clueless and it sets me off giggling

She said 'I know I shouldn't have ...but what can you do?' that made me howl That is their whole mantra, what can you do, not our fault etc etc as though they have no free will and can't actually stop anything that is happening to them

And didn't Aud look upset (NOT) when the girls were sitting around after seeing Lorraine and talking about how long Phil had to live. She said she felt it deep down - so far down in all the layers of fat she could'nt quite find it

[LilAud]

It's left him with a very floppy tail and a huge capacity for farts!!

OMG that so fits Phil

[Nikkiclody]

Are they just showing the first series on the HD Bio channel or all three series? and how many episodes are in the first series..can't believe its only on HD

[t1t3h]

Originally Posted by lotty27

I howled with laughter when she said with a contrite expression: "I know I shouldn't have but ........" then shrugged

One thing about this programme - it's making me like Audrey again! I just have to look at the her sitting there looking clueless and it sets me off giggling

Another highlight was Phil's face when he is telling the camera that he only has a few years to live. Did you see the joy?

Audrey came out with another great quote, it was something like, 'in a few years time we don't want to be sitting about and being lazy.' How's that worked out Aud?

[LilAud]

Originally Posted by Nikkiclody

Are they just showing the first series on the HD Bio channel or all three series? and how many episodes are in the first series..can't believe its only on HD

Looks as though it is just 5 episodes this week. Nothing showing for next week that I can see

[lozenger]

Originally Posted by t1t3h

Another highlight was Phil's face when he is telling the camera that he only has a few years to live. Did you see the joy?

Audrey came out with another great quote, it was something like, 'in a few years time we don't want to be sitting about and being lazy.' How's that worked out Aud?

He so loves being the victim doesn't he! What they refuse to see is that they are their own victims - nobody force feeds them sausages and restrains them to the couch!

I can't get HD either - it must be fun watching it all in retrospect!

[mrs.deschanel]

The amount of lucozade they guzzle is astounding. Why on earth do they need energy drinks? If I spelt it wrong blame my phone - its changed lucozade to luck arse about 10 times already.

[Mehitabel]

Originally Posted by mrs.deschanel

The amount of lucozade they guzzle is astounding. Why on earth do they need energy drinks? If I spelt it wrong blame my phone - its changed lucozade to luck arse about 10 times already.

I just googled Lucozade since I didn't know what it is. From wikipedia, this fascinating bit of information:

500ml (one bottle) of Lucozade Energy typically contains 21 teaspoons of sugar (85g), which is a child's full guideline daily amount of sugar and nearly all of that of a woman's, which has led to media criticism regarding public health. The sugar is now in the form of corn syrup (glucose/fructose) rather than pure glucose as was formerly the case (note this is the case even in Europe where almost all soft drinks contain naturally occurring sucrose rather than chemically manipulated corn syrup). This is somewhat bizarre since additional processing is required to convert the glucose syrup derived from corn to the less desirable glucose/fructose syrup.

Only in Chawnerland.

PS - a litre contains approx 700 calories. Just what the Chawns need.