I've been trying to connect to Kies but have been unable to.

Has anyone got any advice before I smash my phone and laptop up?!?

I can sympathise, had the same problem when I got my Samsung phone. At first it wouldn't recognise the handset but after a few updates to the Kies software it finally did.

Make sure you have installed or updated to the latest available version of KIES from the Samsung website, then try again.

I updated it this morning and now it won't connect to my phone.

Kies can be tricky but its worth disconnecting the phone and trying again as once you get it connected its pretty good.

If you have a smartphone you can also download and use Kies Air from the Android market. It does much the same as the wired connection but can be easier to connect to with Wi-Fi.

I've just downloaded the update and I've now got 2.3.5 and it still says Gingerbread.

I take it that it's not the latest update?

As a new Samsung Galaxy W owner (my first smartphone), I'd really appreciate it if someone could outline the benefits of using Kies in the simplest non-jargonistic terms.
Thanks!

Kies lets you do lots of things. Its a pretty comprehensive package that allows you to transfer music, videos and files to your phone from your PC and lets you back-up and sync your contact details (from Outlook to phone and vice versa). It also has some editing software included for pictures and it can be used to update the operating system software on your phone.

Its a bit bloated but a safe way of updating your phone when new software is released.