Got this sent in an email so can't take any credit for it
Scene: The Boardroom. Bilyana, Katie & Gabrielle are fighting it out
His Lordship Gabrielle. Why shouldn’t I fire you?
Gabrielle Because Lord Sugar, I was stupid enough to put myself forward as PM on the first task, and they always get fired. The producers have told you not to fire the PM on the first task this series, so I knew I was safe
His Lordship Quite right Gabrielle. Bilyana, why shouldn’t I fire you?
Bilyana Because Lord Sugar, I singlehandedly, at the age of 18 months, clawed myself out from beneath the oppressive bootheel of the Soviet Apparachiks, to become the youngest ever Bulgarian Tapdancer to perform in front of George VI, and I’m head girl, and I can do a Suduko (Hard) puzzle in under 5 minutes, and I can…
His Lordship OK, OK, I get the picture…
Bilyana …and I understand equations both the simple and quadratical…
His Lordship ENOUGH! Katie, why shouldn’t I fire you? Katie? Katie?? (where’s she gorn…) Well Katie, you leave me no alternative. You’re f…
Bilyana YOUR LORDSHIP!! Don’t fire me! I’m an amazingly tall Bulgarian!
His Lordship Do you mind Bilyana, I’m trying to fire Katie…
Bilyana Seriously Lord Sugar, if you fire me, you’ll regret it. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but one day, and for the rest of your life…
His Lordship Bilyana, if I hear one more word from you, you’re out that door. Do I make myself clear? Now then, as I woz sayin’, Katie, you’re f…
Bilyana GIVE ME ONE MORE CHANCE YOUR HONOUR!!!
His Lordship Bilyana, you’re fired
Bilyana What?? What did I do wrong?