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I'm extremely attracted to this guy at my gym


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Old 24-03-2012, 21:55
Tree-Of-Life
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It's been over 14 months since I separated from my ex, it wasn't an acrimonious split, but it did take me a long time to get over it. I've had a few little flings here and there throughout 2011, but no one really made me feel anything deeper.

I noticed this guy at my gym about 6 months ago, I thought he was really attractive, a bit miserable looking though. I've ran in to him on several occasions and we have exchanged smiles and hellos and that sort of thing, but over the last few weeks I've developed really intense feelings for him. It's like I have this urge just to see him, although when I do my stomach just turns to knots and pretend that I don't see him or act all nonchalant.

Also it is hard to find an opportunity to strike up a conversation as their are usually people around and when I see him in the gym restaurant I don't want to seem like a crazy lunatic by just going up and start yapping at him. I'm quite a reserved person at first anyway.

I'm not sure how to go about talking to him. He's the first guy in over 14 months that I actually have strong feelings for, I would love to get to know him more.

Any advice?
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Old 24-03-2012, 21:58
Joolz1975
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It's been over 14 months since I separated from my ex, it wasn't an acrimonious split, but it did take me a long time to get over it. I've had a few little flings here and there throughout 2011, but no one really made me feel anything deeper.

I noticed this guy at my gym about 6 months ago, I thought he was really attractive, a bit miserable looking though. I've ran in to him on several occasions and we have exchanged smiles and hellos and that sort of thing, but over the last few weeks I've developed really intense feelings for him. It's like I have this urge just to see him, although when I do my stomach just turns to knots and pretend that I don't see him or act all nonchalant.

Also it is hard to find an opportunity to strike up a conversation as their are usually people around and when I see him in the gym restaurant I don't want to seem like a crazy lunatic by just going up and start yapping at him. I'm quite a reserved person at first anyway.

I'm not sure how to go about talking to him. He's the first guy in over 14 months that I actually have strong feelings for, I would love to get to know him more.

Any advice?
Do you know if hes single or not??
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Old 24-03-2012, 22:31
Tree-Of-Life
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Do you know if hes single or not??
Not sure. He never talks to anyone at the gym, he seems a bit reserved. He does smile when you smile at him though.
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Old 24-03-2012, 22:38
1fab
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Couldn't you go up to him and start a conversation about something gym-related? Maybe asking how he's getting on with a certain piece of equipment, or something. Try and sound casual, so you don't feel embarrassed if he's not interested. Good luck!
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Old 24-03-2012, 23:11
Tweacle Tart II
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Maybe asking how he's getting on with a certain piece of equipment, or something.
Or how to handle his equipment...?
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Old 24-03-2012, 23:50
Joolz1975
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Not sure. He never talks to anyone at the gym, he seems a bit reserved. He does smile when you smile at him though.
Take the bull by the horns and speak to him,he could be married,engaged, gay or anything. No point having these feelings for him if hes not available.

Start a random conversation like uve heard a rumour gym membership might be going up and you wondered if he had heard anything.

Word of warning though if he looks miserable chances are hes married (joke). You might get talking to him and not like him.

Lifes too short to spend it regretting not at least attempting to get to know someone you like.,

Best of luck.
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Old 24-03-2012, 23:56
scar_tissue
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Give him the eye and ramp it up from there if he responds to it.
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Old 25-03-2012, 00:11
Tree-Of-Life
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Or how to handle his equipment...?
Believe me I've already seen his equipment and it's good.
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Old 25-03-2012, 13:57
Tweacle Tart II
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Believe me I've already seen his equipment and it's good.
Oooh, I say mrs...!
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Old 25-03-2012, 16:36
Christa
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How can you develop 'intense feelings' for someone you've never spoken to?

I'd chat to him & see if he's a) single & b) interested...
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Old 25-03-2012, 17:06
Espresso
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The only thing you can do is go over and chat to him, preferably not in the shower. Unless it's the kind of gym where such approaches are par for the course.

For all you know he might have alI the personality of a dead dog or be a complete and utter twit. Until you try and talk to him you'll never know and it's just like fancying some actor off the telly.
Even saying hello would be a start. If you say hello to him a few times then all of a sudden you don't see him at the gym, then you'll know he's changed his gym time because he thinks you're a bit too familiar. And you'll have lost nowt, apart from a bit of eye candy.

Good luck!
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Old 25-03-2012, 17:08
stud u like
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Swat his arse with a towel that usually works.
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Old 25-03-2012, 17:12
Aneechik
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If the OP has already seen his equipment, that would suggest you've been in the changing room together, which would suggest you're both male.

Therefore the obvious first move would be to find out if he's gay, and there's a 94% likelihood he isn't, although with it being a gym it's probably marginally less than that.
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Old 25-03-2012, 17:14
Welsh-lad
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"Intense feelings" for someone you don't even know the name of, and haven't talked to?

You need to tone this down, calm down a bit... and then strike up a conversation.
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Old 25-03-2012, 20:05
Dynopia
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Go for it, but keep your head firmly on your shoulders if it does go the route you want it too. It took me just over 3 and a half years to find someone I liked that way again, and it's ended in tears before it began.

Glad that you're over your heartbreak and having 'those' feelings again, I agree with the others, grab the bull by the horns!
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Old 25-03-2012, 20:10
Killer Gorilla
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Is the OP male or female?
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Old 25-03-2012, 21:07
wrexham103.4
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i started talking to someone i met just as friends, we text a few times and after that he didnt reply to me so i text 1 more time last tuesday and no rely so i just gave up and deleted his number. was strange we were getting on quite well
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Old 25-03-2012, 23:05
Tree-Of-Life
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How can you develop 'intense feelings' for someone you've never spoken to?

I'd chat to him & see if he's a) single & b) interested...
Using human emotions.
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Old 25-03-2012, 23:06
Tree-Of-Life
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Swat his arse with a towel that usually works.
LOL!!! Oh that has cheered me right up.
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Old 26-03-2012, 00:10
strictlyfloss
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Is the OP male or female?

^^ Female, according to her profile.
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Old 26-03-2012, 12:18
thefairydandy
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Using human emotions.
Imaginary ones though... Not that I haven't been there myself!

You really do need to strike whilst the lust iron is hot in these circumstances, otherwise your imagination can construct ridiculous levels of 'intimacy' and attraction based on imagined qualities in the other person.
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Old 26-03-2012, 12:45
Bathsheba
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^^ Female, according to her profile.
How has she seen his equipment then? Do they have unisex showers?
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Old 26-03-2012, 13:33
Smokeychan1
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How has she seen his equipment then? Do they have unisex showers?
Like this maybe?
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Old 26-03-2012, 14:10
Sun!
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Maybe she means muscles by equipment rather than his... well :P

Or his.... is visible through his shorts, especially those silk like material ones which tend to show quite a bit.
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Old 26-03-2012, 21:00
Welsh-lad
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How can you develop 'intense feelings' for someone you've never spoken to?
Using human emotions.
Then you need to introduce a bit of sense and rational thinking to regulate your emotions.

Christa is spot-on.

Healthy 'intense feelings' come about when you know someone intimately.

If you haven't even spoken to him, how do you know he's not a total git/bigoted/mysoginist/selfish/moronic.
Would you have 'intense feelings' for any of these types of person?
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