im trying to be a singer and this is the first song i wrote and recorded,I was looking for feedback - am i allowed to ask for it on these forums? thanks

Yes you are

thank you - ive made a 50 second preview video on youtube - song is called roller boots - i would really appreciate some feedback - bearing in mind its my first attempt! thank you

It's this, right?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QDsr8Y52_Fs

Feedback: You can carry a tune, and the production is nice. Your voice works for dance-pop/Euro-pop sounds. But I have to be honest, I have no idea what the lyrics were about. I say focus on that.

yes that is the one - thank you for ur feedback - i guess the lyrics make sense to me but maybe not to others. Im recording some more next month so will post on here. thanks

I subscribed to your channel, so can't wait to hear more!

Do you produce as well?

Thank you!

No i dont, i go to a studio and pay to record. i love it.

Your production is actually impressive, so definitely keep that sound going!

thank you!

Sounds really good

thanks - im gonna put the full track on later and hopefully people will like it!

Hey there. I like the overall feel of the record.

Can I give a bit of professional constructive criticism? It's half a minute from the beginning of the track to the beginning of the verse. In the short time constraints of a pop song that's quite a long time, especially in the context of your particular song which is fairly uptempo. Your verse should begin at the 13s mark where you repeat the phrase "Get your roller boots on". Put that section elsewhere in the song instead.

I also think you need to work more on your lyrics. Your first verse begins with "Sparkly hair no warning" which is nonsensical (not sparkerly, that's not a word). In my opinion you need to change that in favour of something else. Don't repeat the entire first section of the verse straight away. Take some time to write more lyrics. I hope you don't think I'm being negative for the sake of it, I offer it in the spirit of constructive criticism.

I do like your voice, it has a very usable tone that is a pleasure to work with. Good luck with your music

hmmm, not sure I agree with your view on the lyrics, why doesn't Sparkly hair, no warning make sense? It could do, it all depends on what you're reading into it. Speaking as a lyrisist, I thing the lyrics are fine..........banal, but fine for the genre of the song.
As for the song itself, personally I prefer real instruments and a voice that hasn't had the soul processed out of it, but that's just my taste, and this song isn't. Again, though, for the genre it's aimed for, it's fine

Ive put the Full version up now if you want to check it out

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qoRUmkE3VjM

i like it. thanks for sharing

thank you

I like it! I think it sounds really good You have a really nice voice as well, it really suits the song!

thank you for taking the time to comment means alot

That is actually better than anything the likes of Nicki Minaj could release.
Good stuff, well done!!

Cool thank you - ive had really good feed back so im very happy - recording two more songs next month so will share later.

It sounds alot like the sister song to Whip my hair.

Really - What is the song called? thanks

any ideas how/if i can get some airplay - ive sent it to loads of stations and online sites but no feedback. Any suggestions?? thanks alot

Not bad actually.