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What to do with a vicious cock |
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#1 |
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Fort William
Posts: 22,269
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What to do with a vicious cock
While we've been feeding our neighbour's chickens and duck the cock has been attacking us. He's quite a big bird and pretty muscular. After the next attack, should we use the slow cooker for maximum tenderness or just an hour or so in the oven in a nice casserole? Any other recipe ideas to get our revenge?
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#2 |
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Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Up North
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Coq au vin is the classic for a cock. I'm guessing you can do it in the slow cooker these days.
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#3 |
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Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Up North
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How big is the cock? You need to be quite aggresive when handling a big cock. You need to grab the cock just under the head and squeeze the neck repeatedly until it dies. It will then go limp and you should be to handle it safely.
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#4 |
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Join Date: Jan 2012
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Quote:
How big is the cock? You need to be quite aggresive when handling a big cock..
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#5 |
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Join Date: May 2009
Location: Notts
Posts: 2,671
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Quote:
How big is the cock? You need to be quite aggresive when handling a big cock. You need to grab the cock just under the head and squeeze the neck repeatedly until it dies. It will then go limp and you should be to handle it safely.
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#6 |
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Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 2,943
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Be careful! If it gets too close you might have to beat it off.
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#7 |
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Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Leicesters Khyber Pass
Posts: 4,721
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Quote:
How big is the cock? You need to be quite aggresive when handling a big cock. You need to grab the cock just under the head and squeeze the neck repeatedly until it dies. It will then go limp and you should be to handle it safely.
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#8 |
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Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 144
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Lol
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#9 |
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Inactive Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 479
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Thrust it into something without further delay.
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#10 |
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Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 912
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best thread title ever!!!
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#11 |
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Inactive Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 1,163
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Quote:
How big is the cock? You need to be quite aggresive when handling a big cock. You need to grab the cock just under the head and squeeze the neck repeatedly until it dies. It will then go limp and you should be to handle it safely.
![]() ![]()
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#12 |
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Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Lufbra
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Lol
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#13 |
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Join Date: Jan 2012
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Quote:
best thread title ever!!!
I had an answer prepared until I re-read it |
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#14 |
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: East London
Posts: 14,258
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Cocks unfortunately do not like being skinned!!!
![]() ![]() Just thought you may have to get the Rabbi to investigate.....
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#15 |
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Join Date: Mar 2006
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Fnarr Fnarr!
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#16 |
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Inactive Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 2,230
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You could take ownership of the bird and get a pullet to keep it company. Maybe buy the neighbour a small donkey as a replacement. Then if you happen to be walking through her garden with one bird under each arm, and feel like showing affection to the donkey, you can ask her if she'd hold your cock and pullet while you stroke her ass.
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#17 |
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Join Date: Aug 2010
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Phone the sex offenders helpline.
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#18 |
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Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Up North
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Quote:
You could take ownership of the bird and get a pullet to keep it company. Maybe buy the neighbour a small donkey as a replacement. Then if you happen to be walking through her garden with one bird under each arm, and feel like showing affection to the donkey, you can ask her if she'd hold your cock and pullet while you stroke her ass.
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#19 |
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Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: London & West Midlands
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Such naughtiness people!
Why not just slip something over it's head to quieten it down, then remove once the other birds have been seen to.
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#20 |
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Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 6,533
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It's funny because cock is slang for penis
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#21 |
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Join Date: Nov 2008
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#22 |
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 30,072
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Quote:
It's funny because cock is slang for penis
![]() Never heard of that before. |
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#23 |
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Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Sarf London
Posts: 13,294
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Quote:
It's funny because cock is slang for penis
And the award for stating the bleeding obvious goes to..... |
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#24 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Fort William
Posts: 22,269
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Quote:
It's funny because cock is slang for penis
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Why not just slip something over it's head to quieten it down, then remove once the other birds have been seen to.
