I've just realised you hail from my ends!!! I shall now be looking for the most unsexy person on the tube in the expectation that it's you.....

Generally the tramp at the end of the last carriage with a bottle in one hand, grimy plastic bag in the other and wet trousers ........

i will have nothing to do with your ends !!!

Too early to get the bottle out, (unless I can't find a loo !!!).

Stoppit, you're turning me on

Hello unsexy ones
Today I will be spreading sexiness far and wide. I know you will miss me but I will be back tonight.

"wanders in wearing sexy smoking jacket,reclines sexily on chaise longue and prepares for a long day of smouldering and pouting"

Smokey, quick I need some of your bacon for my roast chicken dinner!! Several bits of streaky please....you won't miss it

You're not getting your mitts on my sexy trotters

It's not your muddy unsexy trotters I want, it's your fatty bits! *runs after Smokey weilding cleaver*

"Resumes sexy pose now that Nigella flipping Lawson has gone "

*leaps ninja-like from ceiling and slices three rashers off Smokey's podgy behind* Bwahaaa!!!! Not very sexy now are ya!!!

Today I will be mostly wearing wet look leather hotpants

A bit like these

More like these actually


http://www.houseofchatter.com/wp-con...ohen-bruno.jpg

Very gay, very unsexy!!

Oh is it raining then ?

Here it is hot and sunny, and my sexy looks are just bringing out the girlies in their little teeny weeny yellow polka dot bikinis!

*strides in and takes ownership of thread while wafting blueberry sponge I has just baked around thread thereby reducing everyone else to drooling heaps*

"strolls into thread with can of Glade to get rid of blooming orrible smell of burned cake ,opens bag of pork scratchings and stretches out langorously with dangerously sexy glint in eye"






"Hopes Martin is enjoying meeting all the sailors in Pompey "

More to the point, are all the sailors enjoying meeting Martin

I doubt it, he is SERIOUSLY unsexy, as are pork scratchings!!!

Particular the female naval officers who can't believe their luck. I have got them to form an orderly queue.

I expect in truth they are all, male AND female, abandoning ship in horror!!!

Shove off mateys - The Commodore of sexiness is again in charge of the ship

More like a tough old pork chop of unsexiness

What is your ship called? The Titanic ?!!

Either that or Smokey's Nemesis

Right, you lot, OUT you jolly well go! The Sexiest of the Sexy returns!