My beloved cat died last year. She was a Tortoiseshell and white. She was so chatty, almost like a human. I have a new cat, just under a year old. She is a black cat with a few white blobs here and there. She is lovely but she's got little personality. When I pick her up she looks at me as if I'm not there (!), she doesn't meaawoo like my previous cat, she doesn't mind being on her own, she's not clingy at all. She is affectionate but in a strange sort of detached kind of way.

She's never hissed at me, never raised her paws at me in an aggressive kind of way, she's amazingly gentle but it's almost as if she's lacking any real spark to her personality. I had my other cat for 11 years and she never bored me but my new cat doesn't really excite me. Perhaps I'm still mourning for my other cat but I think she might just be a boring cat! Lovely, though. I just wish she had a stronger personality.

Has anyone had a cat that seems, well, a bit, dull personality-wise compared to other cats you've had? Are Tortoiseshells the best cats personality-wise? I didn't want to get another Tortie because I didn't want to be reminded of my previous cat and I'd feel sad.

I think it just depends on the cat but I think that some colour types do seem to have a bit more personality - such as torties and tabbies. I also lost my cat last year and I really miss her personality, to me she had a lot of 'charisma'. However, we had a very close bond because I had her for nearly 16 years from when she was a very young kitten and, for many years, it was just her and me in the house......She was a tabby and my new tabby is a little bit like her, very affectionate and playful but I just don't have the same bond with her. She likes to be petted but then goes off to make herself comfortable elsewhere whereas my late Tabitha would stay as close to me as she could, purring away contentedly until she slept. I also adopted my new tabby's companion from the rescue centre, a petite tabby and white cat and, like your cat, she is very detached and seems really happy not to have much human contact (she tolerates me petting her before moving away). She's a gentle little cat and I do love her and she is absolutely no trouble at all, she just goes about her own business in a very independent manner though she does love playing with the other 2 cats - which I like to watch
My third cat is a black and white 7 year old male, who's my cat shadow, but he's a very docile, lazy, fat cat. He's a loyal and loving companion but I just miss my Tabitha's assertive, bossy ways. She really walked round the house as if she owned it

I think I have to accept that I can't replace Tabitha (nor would I want to because I cherish her memory) and that cats, like humans, have their own distinct personalities. Some are extrovert and some are quieter, more introvert 'boring' personalities.

The first few weeks we had min she just hid under the chair..now she is like this...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Saz9JMWuKU

We also meow at her and she talks back. Just talk to her.. I am sure she will come round.

Wow - sounds identical to my new cat.

"We also meow at her and she talks back. Just talk to her.. I am sure she will come round."

She's friendly, lovely, but so different to my previous cat. It's the difference that I'm finding a little hard to get used to. She's friendly in a less clingy kind of way. My tortie was a bit of an attention seeker, she wanted you to know about her, but my new cat, Misti, is having none of that! She's very secure within her self so she doesn't meeaoo for attention.

I had my last cat for 11 years, my new one for just over 6 months and coming to terms with the new cat is a bit harder than I thought.

Your cat looks nice, girlcorner. They're so adorable when they're kittens.

she climbs into bed with us at night and spoons my boyfriends ass her face when he farts is beyond funny

I think you're still mourning your other cat which is perfectly normal. The new one is still very new and very young. I've only ever had one cat, but I've found the same thing with our dogs.

You become so in tune with a pet that you've had for a while that it's hard to relate to a newer one. Imo we always look for the characteristics we loved to appear, and forget that this is a new personality that will develop their own unique relationship with us. It's hard, but I'm sure in time as your Mitsi grows you will find there are bonds between you that make her the individual she is.

I can understand what you mean I had my cat sooty for 14 years since I was 11 and she got killed in hit and run last year , everyone who met her were shocked at how she was ! Bossy kind funny loved attention had no fear , my bf was embarassed when we moved in together outside out neighbours would stop for hours just smoothing and talking to soots lol
Her daughter who is now 14 is shy quiet as in when she meow she opens mouth but no sound (only when needing food does sound happen ) likes to play but more or a lap cat who you can chill out with!
Now we have a kitten who is semi feral and now 8 month old he is shy and wild at same time he has improved loads as he normally ran away from everyone , its taken time but he loves a cuddle but no sitting on laps only my chest Sometimes I think due to habit i expect him to be like sooty but he isn't her she was one of kind each cat is and each cat will show their true side, sometimes it may seem boring but I bet it's really not .

Cats have different personalities ... not sure if the colour makes a difference. We`ve had three ginger cats, two were absolutely crazy and full of mischief and one sounds very similar to your new cat.

I think the problem is you're comparing your new cat with your old cat and since your new cat isn't your old cat, well, you're not happy.

You have to let the memory of your old cat go and remember it's not a twin of your old cat, it's another cat with a different personality and likes and dislikes and you simply have to accept your old cat is gone and get on with accepting your new cat or neither of you is going to be happy in the long term.

Maybe you should give the new cat up for adoption elsewhere until your feelings of loss have subsided and you feel ready to take on the challenge of a new and different cat because if you keep looking for the exact same replica of your old cat you're never going to find him and it's hardly fair on the cats either.

my old cat was my best friend but quite independant - when she died i waited about a year and got an 8wk old kitten, i tried to cuddle her etc so she'd get used to it but she's quite independant and only really wants to know me 1st thing of a morning.

she's only 10mths old and i'd say she's boring but so long as she's happy then that makes me happy.

Cats aren't human, they have no idea that we may not love them as much as a previous cat. I can't speak for floopy but, in my case, I agree that none of my 3 cats can fill the cat shaped hole that Tabitha left in my life when she died. However, my Bernard gets more love and attention now (I always favoured Tabitha) and the other 2 never knew Tabitha. They are all very happy, spoilt, contented cats, all get individual attention - and all get on very well with each other.

I know I took on 2 cats last year because I subconsciously wanted Tabitha back - and they're nothing like her. I miss her meiow (she had a lovely meiow) and how close she liked to be to me (when she was in the mood). I just miss her whole personality, the trust she had in me, we just understood each other and I don't think I'll ever stop missing her but the one thing that has helped me move on from grief is taking on more cats - an arrangement that's provided us mutual benefit. My rescue cats love their new life and freedom and are better off with me than they might be somewhere else. They spent the first 10 months of their lives being moved into different 'homes'.

I love my cats, just not in the same way as I loved my Tabitha but, in my case, that is probably a good thing because I can't face ever going through that almost unbearable sense of loss and grief again.