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Old 13-05-2012, 13:24
SandyG4u
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Soaps take a bit of a knocking on here sometimes but there must be something to them if we all keep watching.
David's (Emmerdale) "In me dress" is a classic.
This week I've been watching BGT so only catching up on Emmerdale and Corrie today.
I've started this thread cos I thought people could add a few funnies each week.

So far Emmerdale:
Nicola "I must practice my child neglect more"

Dingles in serious hospital scene trying to find out how Zak is:
Cain: "Why don't you ask me a question I can answer?"
Sam: "What was it like in the helicopter?"
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Old 13-05-2012, 13:33
felixrex
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Phil Mitchell to Ben Mitchell: "I wish you'd died in that car crash". Touching.
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Old 13-05-2012, 13:34
21stCenturyBoy
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"She just sat up, broke wind... and died"
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Old 13-05-2012, 13:36
IanMandy
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Billy: 'Hev's eating cheese with the big man upstairs."
Ian: "Who, Phil?"

Classic
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Old 13-05-2012, 13:49
Foxster Hotpot
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Norman Bates with a Briefcase
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Old 13-05-2012, 14:05
Gulftastic
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'Good looks are a curse, Diedre....you and Kenneth should think yourselves lucky'
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Old 13-05-2012, 14:05
salford boy
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its like jeremy kyle without the fat people.
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Old 13-05-2012, 15:17
SandyG4u
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Phil Mitchell to Ben Mitchell: "I wish you'd died in that car crash". Touching.
I was thinking more funny ha ha but your post sure made me laugh!

Thanks everyone for the ones so far.

I'm sure Norris will have a few in the run up to the wedding.
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Old 13-05-2012, 15:44
dazza89
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Not exactly a one liner but the way Paul in Corrie shouted that line upstairs to Leslie made me chuckle.

''You've just had your dinner, EGG AND CHIPS''

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Old 13-05-2012, 16:16
SophiaK70
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Roy Evans to Pat, ' i dont like your earrings!' just the look on pats face when he said it
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Old 13-05-2012, 16:22
Scrabbler
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Becky Granger has thrown away Michelle's ring. Blanche Hunt (to Steve MacDonald): That's the second fiance to chuck that ring away. You'd be better off buying a boomerang!
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Old 13-05-2012, 16:32
salford boy
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'she isnt judith, she's janine and she's about as jewish as a bacon sandwich.'
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Old 13-05-2012, 16:32
riverside 57
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Blanche to Peter about the thermometer he was using in his mouth : "It's rectal, but it's been through the dishwasher!"
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Old 13-05-2012, 16:37
maurice45
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Rose: "Andrew loves his brown sauce" (or something similar)
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Old 13-05-2012, 16:39
JarkdeLuxe
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Dingles in serious hospital scene trying to find out how Zak is:
Cain: "Why don't you ask me a question I can answer?"
Sam: "What was it like in the helicopter?"
Pahahaha! AMAZING.

"If only he'd worn on slip on shoes!"
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Old 13-05-2012, 16:46
maurice45
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y2hSwwwoGrs

4:17 Zoe to Sharon: "you're a sad jealous cow! You will never have him! Never!" - wanna bet?
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Old 13-05-2012, 16:57
IanMandy
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Peter Beale 'Why can't you accept Whitney as my girlfriend?'
Ian: 'Because she's a walking STD'

one of the best one liners ever
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Old 13-05-2012, 17:00
maurice45
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Peter Beale 'Why can't you accept Whitney as my girlfriend?'
Ian: 'Because she's a walking STD'

one of the best one liners ever
LOL I remember that - Ian's a legend
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Old 13-05-2012, 17:02
IanMandy
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LOL I remember that - Ian's a legend
That had me in tears the first time I heard that. Maybe Ian should be less tragic because he's quite a good comic character too. He has some great comedy.

Few years ago, when he chucked Fatboy and co out of his house , he was like 'you get me?' the way Fats would say it.

Love Bealey!
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Old 13-05-2012, 17:03
JarkdeLuxe
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Peter Beale 'Why can't you accept Whitney as my girlfriend?'
Ian: 'Because she's a walking STD'

one of the best one liners ever
Ian was so hateful then! I know Whitney is awful now but I really liked her back in 2010 and Ian was just a total nasty shit to her with no regard for Peter's feelings.

I can never hate on Ian for long though. He's too pathetic to hate.
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Old 13-05-2012, 17:03
SuperDude95
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You need slappin down.
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Old 13-05-2012, 17:06
IanMandy
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When Big Mo arrived in 2000 and Kat asked her who Pat was (they arrived during Ethel Skinner's funeral and Pat was in a car) Mo said: 'That's Pat. she's got married so many times that i don't know what her second name is these days'.

Made lol
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Old 13-05-2012, 17:10
IzzieStar
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Dennis (about Phil): Give him another couple of thousand years and he'll invent the wheel.
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Old 13-05-2012, 17:16
MsWilder11
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Blanche at the AA meeting:

"Is there some correlation between how boring you are and how much you drink?"

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Old 13-05-2012, 17:17
IanMandy
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Gotta love Blanche lol
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