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[LilAud]

Yay part 10

[MrIncredible]

Part 10!

We'll catch up with the JJJers in about 2212 at this rate.

[i_am_a_gremlin]

oh my god!!!!! double figures!!

[Loopzilla]

YAY! Part 10!!!!!

THE WEDDING EPISODE PART THREE

Spoiler

And now Emma's ruined it by combing the fringe down. Phil points out Aud's whiskers, nobody points out his nose tusks. You'd have thought he might have tucked them in sor something. Maybe Sam could've gelled them with her magical hand clapping technique.*

There they are, the three mischief ladies at the registry office. They're absolutely creased. Now if they can get their shifts covered, I'm sure Phil n Aud's family could have made the effort.......that's if Emma had bothered to invite them. I bet she never posted those invites.

There it is! Audrey's splendid magpie fascinator! It's a doozy! Phil's at the registry office looking smart with his auburn hair in a Robert Robinson combover. Sam, you're a legend! "He looks really smart and I'm surprised he's got socks on". I can't believe it's taken a vow renewal to get him to wear socks.

So the guests that have turned up are the three mischief ladies, two ladies who are "supporters", the florists and a family who describe themselves as stalkers. Yeah, thanks Sam n Em, you did a great job there. The lady of the family says her young daughter (who only looks about 6) is Aud's biggest fan and she watcges the show. Is it really appropriate viewing for a 6 year old? Even the censored daytime version? Oh well, I suppose poor Kim's daughter has been right in the middle of it....uncensored! Poor mite. Poor Kim.

I know we laugh at Aud with her fascinator and Phil with his sox, but they look a damn sight better than on their first wedding vid. Oooops, Aud has to go to the throne room. Why oh why didn't she put her teeth in?! * *Oh no, she must have adjusted her magpie fascinator while in the loo, it's sitting right on top of her head like an aspidistra. Oh look there's Kim....Coooeeeeee (waves).*

Here's the vows off of the internet. Sam's crying and Emma's making fun of her. Behave yourself Emma, remember you're not five. Oh look, they get a swimming certificate. Phil n Aud's moaning that they don't know anyone. Awwwww look at the two little girls throwing confetti. Cute.

And now they're off to the "Canine" for the reception. Did they really say "the Canine

ADVERT

[greengran]

Woo Hoo part 10 and Loppy's synopsis, what more could a girl want!

[tenorlady]

The Chawner thread is like a juggernaut, thundering it's way through showbiz A bit like the family themselves...

[kiviraat]

Absolutely loving the reviews IT'S LIKE I'M REALLY THERE (unfortunately...) Also just found a 'f*ckyeahaudreychawner' page over on Tumblr. Love the sparkling sausage. Wonder who's behind that one

And congrats on part 10!!!

[loopylass1977]

funny how phlop can spell "Oesophagitis" but not any other simpler words. haha. He has also posted a right minging picture on his page of someone elses "camera down" medical procedure, unless its actually Emma's one as i wouldnt be surprised if he actually asked for a picture of it, does he not have a picture of Sam's internal "fatty lamb lump ovary cyst?? ewwww
Its hardly life threating anyway, and the way to treat it is by DIET!!!!!!
Good luck to the consultants trying to tell her that!!!!

[Nikkiclody]

They are always in and out of hospital..I wonder are they faking it sometimes .Phil seems to love when they are sick..they dwell on their illnesses and seem to spend their lives in hospital when they are not eating or watching telly.

[MrIncredible]

Originally Posted by loopylass1977

funny how phlop can spell "Oesophagitis" but not any other simpler words. haha. He has also posted a right minging picture on his page of someone elses "camera down" medical procedure, unless its actually Emma's one as i wouldnt be surprised if he actually asked for a picture of it, does he not have a picture of Sam's internal "fatty lamb lump ovary cyst?? ewwww
Its hardly life threating anyway, and the way to treat it is by DIET!!!!!!
Good luck to the consultants trying to tell her that!!!!

They're all just jellus because she was on X Factor.

[kiviraat]

Yeah we're all jealous that we weren't mocked in front of millions, have fists like hams (mmm, ham...) and smell of stale sausages and wet dog

[Loopzilla]

THE WEDDING EPISODE PART FOUR

Spoiler

Awwww no, only ten people have turned up. Emma's forced Phil to mingle, first of all he offers for people to have a photo taken with him (tumbleweed) then he goes and sits by some strangers and says nothing, therefore ruining the conversation they were having between themselves

I agree with Aud, the buffet looks dead nice. There's swiss roll, things on sticks, a quiche dish full of burnt custard, a bowlful of Wheelz crisps and la piece de resistance......a brain on a bed of olives and*stuff. Coloured food not necessary! White, brown or beige....no "plenty of fruit, plenty of veg" here.

Fair play to Aud, she's got much better social skills than Phil. She's thanked the caterers, and now she's sitting with the mischief ladies having a nice chat about stuff like photos of their old wedding dotted about the place. Naughty ladies say "You've not changed a bit and Phil's a very handsome man". Then Aud says alot of people think she's younger than she is, they all have a laugh.....even Aud (I think that was a bit of clever editing though). Aud would thrive in a day centre, or a weekly coffee morning. Phil would hate it cos he wouldn't be involved. Emotionally, he needs her more than she needs him. Oooooo, that was a bit deep.

Learn maths the Audrey Chawner way. If you have been married for 25 years, and you're 60 now, then how old were you when you got married?
Answer: twenty.

Shhh, shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, everyone, shhhhhh! Phil's doing a speech. Oh no his Songstar microphone is playing up. Norman Collier was funnier than this when his microphone never worked. Aahhhhh, it was Sam's butt blocking the wireless.

Phil's given Sam n Em £20 between them for organising the catastrophe. Emma says she can't accept it....oh I'm sure you can. Go on Em, take it, you earned it. What's the going rate for mucking up a p*** up in a brewery?*Now it's the throwing of the bouquet. Ace! Mad Flower Lady caught it! I like her, she talks like Pootle from the Flumps. Phil n Aud trip the light fantastic, then it's the chow down. And they all lived Chawnily ever after.

Bio are now recapping on all the years, money and freebies the chawnz have had. A fair amount of cash I reckon. Phil was offered a long term contract by the florist but after she made lots of phone calls and email he never showed up.

PHIL: I got an email saying be there on a certain day, I said "That's fine" but they never got back to me.
DAN: You see, I think they were expecting you to actually turn up on that day.

Phil's face does this :-\

Emma's turned her back on weightloss, Sam's got her job in F&B's but she keeps bringing fudge cakes home and has put a stone and a half on. Emma feels last because Sam's giving her parents money and she's not....well get a job and don't cause bother then! Aud's plan is to get the OK from the doctor and go to New Zealand.*

Over to you NZ!

THE END

[Loopzilla]

Is that what she's got? Acid reflux? Is that as well as the gallstones or is it a different diagnosis? She's only young to be having all these problems.

[Simi89]

Oh wow Part 10! How amazing!

[greengran]

A round of applause for Loopy, I'm not going to bother watching the show now, your interpretation is so much better.Perhaps you could have a word with Director Dan and tell him we need an update or a new show, we need to know how poor Emma is after her camera episode with two consultants. I wonder if Audrey went with them and told the Doctor Emma was on X Factor.

[Mehitabel]

Loud applause for Loopzilla. You have a gift.

[Loopzilla]

Originally Posted by greengran

A round of applause for Loopy, I'm not going to bother watching the show now, your interpretation is so much better.Perhaps you could have a word with Director Dan and tell him we need an update or a new show, we need to know how poor Emma is after her camera episode with two consultants. I wonder if Audrey went with them and told the Doctor Emma was on X Factor.

You need to watch it. It's like watching "Lost". The more you find out in the future, the more you notice in the past.

I don't want them to have a new show, they've had enough airtime and freebies.

[lozenger]

WAAHEEYYY!! Part 10 Wow!

Just back home from a photographic exhibition launch that was serving warm white wine (ugh) Just about to open a nice cold one for a night cap - what better way to celebrate!

*settles down to read Loopy's wonderful reviews*

Cheers fellow CoC's!

[lotty27]

Part 10


Many congrats to Loopy for providing excellent reviews, as others have said you definitely have a talent and I'm going to miss them

[AwesomeGeorge]

Originally Posted by Loopzilla

You need to watch it. It's like watching "Lost". The more you find out in the future, the more you notice in the past.

I don't want them to have a new show, they've had enough airtime and freebies.

I don't want them to have a new show either, but I have thoroughly enjoyed reading your reviews - especially the wedding Oh my goodness.

[greengran]

Originally Posted by Loopzilla

You need to watch it. It's like watching "Lost". The more you find out in the future, the more you notice in the past.

I don't want them to have a new show, they've had enough airtime and freebies.

In that case, Mr G is away next week, I have all 3 series on my planner in glorious HD so I shall have a Chawnerfest all on my own. There will be no one to tell me not to eat trifle or chocolate and I might even buy myself a bottle of Sambuca and emulate Emma.

[lozenger]

Originally Posted by greengran

In that case, Mr G is away next week, I have all 3 series on my planner in glorious HD so I shall have a Chawnerfest all on my own. There will be no one to tell me not to eat trifle or chocolate and I might even buy myself a bottle of Sambuca and emulate Emma.

I will send you 3 x 20 packs of Marlboro lights and a Karaoke machine... Go GG..!

[AwesomeGeorge]

Originally Posted by greengran

In that case, Mr G is away next week, I have all 3 series on my planner in glorious HD so I shall have a Chawnerfest all on my own. There will be no one to tell me not to eat trifle or chocolate and I might even buy myself a bottle of Sambuca and emulate Emma.

Don't forget to go outside at some point and toss dog poo into the neighbour's garden and do some loud swearing in the street. Livin' La Vida Chawner is the way forward

[hammerfan]

Woo-hoo, part 10, who would have thought it from back in the day when Calebolly first posed the question was Emma Chawner the new Jade Goody - we all replied no, but the thread kept on movin'!

Thanks loopy for your reviews, you really have a talent - maybe you could do the audio descriptive version for those who can't see very well. You describe the family and episodes perfectly. Thank you for going back over the 3 series of this family & keeping us entertained.