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Emma Chawner - the new Jade Goody? (Part 10)


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Old 08-04-2014, 16:45
Simi89
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Outer Mongolia?
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Old 08-04-2014, 16:57
greengran
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Oh, you are awful!!! But I like you.
I thought about sending them to the Moon, but don't know if the Rocket would get off the ground.
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Old 08-04-2014, 18:15
lotty27
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Watching the documentary properly now, that male neighbour with glasses who loathed the Chawn's has just made me laugh with his:

"I don't think it ever occurred to her that she couldn't sing"

I still don't think it's occurred to her that she can't sing!

Audrey told us, she won awards for it you know!
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Old 08-04-2014, 18:19
Simi89
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Simon cowell's comment of just because she won a prize rosette at a donkey derby doesn't mean she can win the Grand National or words to that effect was priceless.
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Old 08-04-2014, 19:09
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Emma Chawner - The New Adele?
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Old 09-04-2014, 13:58
Alberon
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Well, I totally missed the Chawner's triumphant return to our screens. Though I have found the episode online and I'll watch it tonight. For those no longer a friend of Phil on Facebook here's what he's been saying.

On the 5th April after clearly getting some grief on Facebook

why don't you leave Emma alone giving abuse on face book sitting behind your laptop giving abuse show your face and also get your facts right regarding jobs anymore of you nasty people will just be reported on Facebook for abuse Emma as done no harm to any of you
And further down the comments of that post he added this

thank you all for your nice comments channel 5 made it look bad on us has they said they was going to put the truth on but they twisted it I was filmed in my car where I live know but the car down the road where we lived at our old address was the film crew not me and they did not play the bit where Emma got assaulted it was left of so thank you all you all have a good weekend and take care love Phil and family xx
I do agree with him if the family are getting online abuse. That isn't on.

However, why did he trust another film company after how the experience of the Bio series? Unless they get approval of the final edit (which of course, they never will) they really should steer clear of these things.

On the 6th he posted this

I have put on a comment on channel 5 sight regarding Stuart Johnson who was on the committee for the council he lived on the estate made up these lies on the programme and made them up to council to get us out this is the comment below and channel 5 refused to put it on the comments list

Stewart Johnson we don't know how you can live with your self lying on national TV everything you said was not true you have no evidence of any of this because you have made it up with your friends to get us out the council put noise monitors in the neighbours house and it come back has nothing and on the program it did not play the assault on Emma it was recorded on her mobile and I did not knock on the door it was my soon and you was the one that came out of your house and stood close to me to punch me so come on Johnson tell the truth come to Jeremy Kyle show and do a lie detector and then we will see who is lying because we are sick of getting the blame for things we don't do
The Chawners on Jeremy Kyle? Yeah, that would go well for you, Phil.

And later on that day

come on channel 5 why have you made us look bad on the programme why did you not put the evidence what we had on tape of what was going on instead Stewart Johnson telling lies on national TV and you will not let me post the truth on your comments list so you make us look bad to get your ratings I hope channel 5 sees this on here
And yesterday this

just went out for 1 hour got back to find a big bag of dog poo on our front doorstep this is what sick neighbours we have to live by
Again, if true, then it's vile and people should never do that. But then again, I find it very hard to trust Phil in whatever he says. Even if there was a bag of dog poo it could just have been just a lazy dog walker and not someone who even knows the Chawners live there. God knows there is enough of them around.

I'd forgotten how much of a headache Phil's lack of punctuation gives me!
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Old 09-04-2014, 14:49
RealityRocks
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I feel like I have been missing out on the Chawners, after seeing them on the c5 programme recently they look to be comedy gold.

Are there any places I can watch their reality show (was it on Bio?) or am I better off with the youtube highlights?

... do they think they are actually famous, and why do I get a strange vibe from the Dad - is he quite right?
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Old 09-04-2014, 15:07
Alberon
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I don't think you can, legally, find any whole episodes online, but in general the whole episodes proved to be as bad as the youtube highlights.

It all started as a generic help-the-unfit-get-fitter show, but by the end of the third and final series it had descended into a gawpfest at this dysfunctional family.

And Phil does seem to be the source of most of the family's problems. He has a vice-like grip on his daughters and his greatest fear seems to be that they'll grow up, move out, have lives of their own and leave him alone with his wife.
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Old 09-04-2014, 19:14
Mr_Eye
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Its quite possible the the bag of dog shit on their doorstep belonged to their own dogs. We've seen Emma throwing it over the neighbours' wall on telly.
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Old 09-04-2014, 19:44
Demonicrodent
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Well, I totally missed the Chawner's triumphant return to our screens. Though I have found the episode online and I'll watch it tonight. For those no longer a friend of Phil on Facebook here's what he's been saying.

On the 5th April after clearly getting some grief on Facebook



And further down the comments of that post he added this



I do agree with him if the family are getting online abuse. That isn't on.

However, why did he trust another film company after how the experience of the Bio series? Unless they get approval of the final edit (which of course, they never will) they really should steer clear of these things.

On the 6th he posted this



The Chawners on Jeremy Kyle? Yeah, that would go well for you, Phil.

And later on that day



And yesterday this



Again, if true, then it's vile and people should never do that. But then again, I find it very hard to trust Phil in whatever he says. Even if there was a bag of dog poo it could just have been just a lazy dog walker and not someone who even knows the Chawners live there. God knows there is enough of them around.

I'd forgotten how much of a headache Phil's lack of punctuation gives me!
You would have thought he would get his complaint to ch5 properly punctuated. They will just ignore it . Good grief it's made me out of breath reading all his comments.
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Old 09-04-2014, 19:45
Simi89
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I love how Phil is one of those people who thinks Jeremy Kyle is person to go to get your problems resolved.
Although Chawners on Jezza Kyle would be 24 Carat TV gold.
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Old 09-04-2014, 20:43
greengran
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I love how Phil is one of those people who thinks Jeremy Kyle is person to go to get your problems resolved.
Although Chawners on Jezza Kyle would be 24 Carat TV gold.
I'd pay to watch that! Oh, hang on, I do.
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Old 09-04-2014, 21:52
kiviraat
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I love how Phil is one of those people who thinks Jeremy Kyle is person to go to get your problems resolved.
Although Chawners on Jezza Kyle would be 24 Carat TV gold.
I'd be applying for tickets If it was Jerry they were on instead, the girls might even wrestle it out in some jello while Jerry puts Phil in a cage. Audrey would sleep through it all of course Stuff of nightmares
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Old 09-04-2014, 22:15
greengran
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I'd be applying for tickets If it was Jerry they were on instead, the girls might even wrestle it out in some jello while Jerry puts Phil in a cage. Audrey would sleep through it all of course Stuff of nightmares
Phil would be glaring malevolently through the cage at anyone who cheered his girls on.
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Old 10-04-2014, 16:23
Mr_Eye
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Little Phil would be standing to attention I suspect.
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Old 12-04-2014, 09:24
Jazz_Pancake
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Sleep hackney, tak car (followed by variation of lv the Chawners or Phil and family), gallblabbers, infected overs, a jug for a judge, lorry diabetes, lumber puncher, mouldy boob and helicopter pylons.
What else have I missed?
Love the chawnerspeak.
Haha where did you get these from!?

What's Helicopter Pylons? Haha
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Old 12-04-2014, 14:00
Simi89
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Haha where did you get these from!?

What's Helicopter Pylons? Haha
Ah people used to post his Facebook updates on here which including all of those wonderful chawnerisms.

And helicopter pylons - helicobacter pylori, a type of bacteria causing stomach issues.
** Sleep hackney - sleep apnoea
Tak(e) Car(e)
Gallblabber - gallbladder
Overs - ovaries
Lumber puncher - lumbar puncture
Lorry diabetes - diabetes he claims caused by his work as a lorry driver.
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Old 13-04-2014, 18:58
Jazz_Pancake
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Ah people used to post his Facebook updates on here which including all of those wonderful chawnerisms.

And helicopter pylons - helicobacter pylori, a type of bacteria causing stomach issues.
** Sleep hackney - sleep apnoea
Tak(e) Car(e)
Gallblabber - gallbladder
Overs - ovaries
Lumber puncher - lumbar puncture
Lorry diabetes - diabetes he claims caused by his work as a lorry driver.
Haha, that's too funny. Phil is a special snowflake.

Tak car haha
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Old 13-04-2014, 19:28
History Gal
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Thanks
Thought this video could do with reposting:
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=5quSCz0huJI
Audrey's epic farting stair climb.
That literally had me crying with laughter!
You'd think seeing herself in hat state would kick her into losing weight, however having seen bits of the C5 programme they've all smashed the weight back on!
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Old 13-04-2014, 21:41
Simi89
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That literally had me crying with laughter!
You'd think seeing herself in hat state would kick her into losing weight, however having seen bits of the C5 programme they've all smashed the weight back on!
I know, it doesn't get any less funny the more you watch that clip.
You would have thought the incident where she ate so many peanuts in one sitting caused a faecal impaction which needed manually removing by doctors at the hospital would force her to take a long hard look at her dietary habits but nope nothing's changed.
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Old 13-04-2014, 22:09
greengran
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I know, it doesn't get any less funny the more you watch that clip.
You would have thought the incident where she ate so many peanuts in one sitting caused a faecal impaction which needed manually removing by doctors at the hospital would force her to take a long hard look at her dietary habits but nope nothing's changed.
I wonder how many Hot Cross buns she'll be eating this Easter, though they do count as one of her 5 a day as they have fruit in them.
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Old 14-04-2014, 19:16
Nikkiclody
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HvokroHjT6A

It's so hard to find full episodes of the Chawners, it's amazing they all lived on salads and yet didn't lose weight! and Phil's wallet and keys weigh a lot in his pockets.
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Old 16-04-2014, 09:45
lovely_lady
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I recorded all the Chawners episodes from Sky. I hope they do another series
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Old 16-04-2014, 11:02
Simi89
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Do we really need another series?
(Although I'd totally watch as I find them fascinating in a somewhat morbid way Shhhhh!)
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Old 16-04-2014, 11:18
johartuk
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HvokroHjT6A

It's so hard to find full episodes of the Chawners, it's amazing they all lived on salads and yet didn't lose weight! and Phil's wallet and keys weigh a lot in his pockets.
How could it take one and a half hours to make a stir-fry It must have been a soggy mess by the time it reached their plates!
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