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Emma Chawner - the new Jade Goody? (Part 10)


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Old 29-08-2012, 23:12
Saltydog1955
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According to the MCAT crew, he is sufficiently equipped to do so with ease.
Perhaps he could do Sam at the same time?

*gives self nightmares*
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Old 29-08-2012, 23:15
Mehitabel
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Perhaps he could do Sam at the same time?

*gives self nightmares*
Nawty Salty
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Old 30-08-2012, 01:05
greengran
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Hard on Hot Tub, a great name for a porno film. Matt, Phil , Emma and Sam altogether in a hot tub, guess what happens next.
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Old 30-08-2012, 10:23
tenorlady
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Poor Matt Cardle, it's not his day - first salacious rumours about his affair with Emma Chawner, and now he's being beaten by Wagner in the DS popularity poll.

http://www.digitalspy.co.uk/tv/s103/...-your-say.html



I hope he doesn't turn to comfort eating and a few months down the line, gets offered a reality show by Lorraine Kelly "Cardle's Big Fat Challenge"

Edited to add, the above comments are a JOKE. I like Matt Cardle and wouldn't wish Emma Chawner and/or a morbidly obese future on him at all
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Old 30-08-2012, 14:39
wannabegothchav
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Poor Matt Cardle, it's not his day - first salacious rumours about his affair with Emma Chawner, and now he's being beaten by Wagner in the DS popularity poll.

http://www.digitalspy.co.uk/tv/s103/...-your-say.html



I hope he doesn't turn to comfort eating and a few months down the line, gets offered a reality show by Lorraine Kelly "Cardle's Big Fat Challenge"

Edited to add, the above comments are a JOKE. I like Matt Cardle and wouldn't wish Emma Chawner and/or a morbidly obese future on him at all
I think Emma and Matt would make a charming couple, when I say charming, I mean vomit inducing. He looks like he shares hygiene tips with Aud!
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Old 30-08-2012, 15:30
tenorlady
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Gothy, you are a harsh woman. I bet Matt doesn't have mould growing in his creases.
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Old 30-08-2012, 15:43
wannabegothchav
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Gothy, you are a harsh woman. I bet Matt doesn't have mould growing in his creases.
Probably more chip fat grease and the odd pea stuck under his moobs.
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Old 30-08-2012, 22:50
tenorlady
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How very chawneresque.

I would actually be delighted if Emma Chawner found herself a boyfriend, although I doubt her path will ever cross with that of Matt Cardle But someone who could prise her away from her toxic father would be wonderful.
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Old 30-08-2012, 22:52
Saltydog1955
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How very chawneresque.

I would actually be delighted if Emma Chawner found herself a boyfriend, although I doubt her path will ever cross with that of Matt Cardle But someone who could prise her away from her toxic father would be wonderful.
Billy Bunter.
He could take her away to Greyfriars School and they could live on the contents of the Tuck Shop.

Hurrah!
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Old 31-08-2012, 07:44
tenorlady
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It's a shame Rik Waller's an old married man and working for Vodaphone

He and Emma could have set up home together and toured the UK doing a medley of Wierd Al Yankovic fat related songs. They could have been a comedy singing act and made a fortune.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t2mU6USTBRE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZcJjMnHoIBI
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Old 31-08-2012, 08:56
tenorlady
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Latest news from Chawnerville - someone has hired a hitman!!

Hi all in the village where we live this open truck was heading towards us head on I had to go on the pavement so he did not hit us I think he was trying to kill us it has been reported to the police but we cannot do anything has we did not get his number plate just the decryption of the vehicle it was an open sided truck we all could not believe it
Come on, own up, which one of you lot drove their open sided truck head on at the Chawners? Phil's got your decryption anyway.
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Old 31-08-2012, 10:00
Alberon
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I could assume when he said he had to go on the pavement he meant he was in their car at the time. Though I know never to assume anything with these numpties, he could have been wandering down the middle of the road at the time for all I know.

Phil must be using spell-check, but surely even he could work out it doesn't always pick the right word. Another one for the Chawner Dictionary anyway! And another point about the lack of punctuation. The last bit reads like that they couldn't believe it was an open sided truck.
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Old 31-08-2012, 10:14
greengran
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I reckon it was the Xmag, the jug and the bent copper, they all got together with a plan.
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Old 31-08-2012, 11:02
tally
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Time for a new game. Chawner Cluedo.

So far we have the weapon - an open sided trunk, the location -though unclear whether Papa C was on foot- surely not! and the suspects.

Now to find the real killer, the ex-mag, the bent copper, the jug or Dan the director.(Dont rule him out, he has far more motive having had to work with them for 3 years)

Phil'll have to help us a bit more with his decryption.
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Old 31-08-2012, 11:04
tenorlady
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I reckon it was the Xmag, the jug and the bent copper, they all got together with a plan.
I think you're right!! I bet the bent copper was driving with the x magistrate in the passenger seat, and the jug in the back, egging each other on, between swigs of a shared can of Special Brew.
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Old 31-08-2012, 13:03
kimmaton
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hiya all, hope your all ok xx
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Old 31-08-2012, 14:38
tenorlady
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Time for a new game. Chawner Cluedo.

So far we have the weapon - an open sided trunk, the location -though unclear whether Papa C was on foot- surely not! and the suspects.

Now to find the real killer, the ex-mag, the bent copper, the jug or Dan the director.(Dont rule him out, he has far more motive having had to work with them for 3 years)

Phil'll have to help us a bit more with his decryption.
What about Lorraine Kelly? She has motive too, the Chawners nearly wrecked her TV career. Or Simon Cowell? He might have attempted a hit and run to prevent another awful audition. Would he drive an open sided truck though?
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Old 31-08-2012, 15:53
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I think it was Kelvin McKenzie with the newspaper delivery van in the Doctors waiting room.
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Old 31-08-2012, 16:28
tenorlady
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What about the French health farm lady? She hated them. Well she hated Emma and Sam.

I wonder if Audrey hired someone? I bet she wasn't with them in the car.

Perhaps it was her driving Though if she ran down her family, it would muck up her money quite badly.
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Old 31-08-2012, 18:18
greengran
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What about the French health farm lady? She hated them. Well she hated Emma and Sam.

I wonder if Audrey hired someone? I bet she wasn't with them in the car.

Perhaps it was her driving Though if she ran down her family, it would muck up her money quite badly.
But she'd only have herself to think about, as long as she could get to the shops( and she'd have to walk) she could buy as many microwave meals, hot cross buns and trifles as she liked and not have to share them with anyone. She'd lose weight from walking and all her money would be hers!
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Old 31-08-2012, 19:03
tenorlady
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hiya all, hope your all ok xx
Hiya Kim
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Old 02-09-2012, 17:00
Mehitabel
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Is tomorrow our next shot at maybe seeing the Chawners in print?
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Old 02-09-2012, 20:29
tenorlady
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If they're in this coming week's Closer, then it'll be out on Tuesday. Somehow though, I think the Chawners have been dumped for more current z listers.
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Old 02-09-2012, 23:01
Saltydog1955
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Recorded Last Chance this week and saw the boob grab for the first time. Yuk.

I was pretty shocked the way Philth tried to drag a grown 19 stone woman back into the house like a naughty kid.
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Old 02-09-2012, 23:46
kiviraat
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Recorded Last Chance this week and saw the boob grab for the first time. Yuk.

I was pretty shocked the way Philth tried to drag a grown 19 stone woman back into the house like a naughty kid.
It really was dodgy wasn't it? Why the Hell did he drag her back in?? Just let her go and cool down! The family dynamics are shocking. Yes, a large part of the girls problems are due to their parents, but they are doing absolutely nowt to get themselves out of the cycle or to make sure that they don't become their parents. Too late now.

I look forward to Tuesday. Intrigued since Phil says they will be in an insert with the magazine (which I didn't think the likes of Closer had). If they aren't in it, I'm sure Phil will ignore everyone asking where they are
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