[geniusgirl]

I'd wonder what was wrong if a bloke was a virgin after 30.

[Psychosis]

Originally Posted by Pootmatoot

I suspect many people just wouldn't announce it, and would hope for the best. It's only in the movies that people scream "I'M STILL A VIRGIN!" seconds before penetration. The internet has been around long enough for even a virgin to know what they're supposed to be doing, this isn't 1920 when it could mean you had literally no idea what was about to happen or what you would do.

Well, for women, you kinda have to. The guy is going to find out anyway and it's best to pre-warn to avoid that awkward moment.

[JulesF]

I haven't voted because, like others, I'm a bit confused about the male/female thing in the poll, but I'm with Victoria Sponge on this. It wouldn't be a deal-breaker if I really liked the guy, but I really don't find the idea of taking someone's virginity a turn-on at all. I'm happily married, but if I was single now (in my mid-thirties) I would want someone who knows what they are doing in the sack. Having to teach someone the ropes would be a right bore.

I know it's wrong of me, but I do find the idea of, say, a 30-year-old virgin a bit odd, and I would be wondering whether there was some sort of problem. I don't really buy into the whole 'losing one's virginity is a sacred, special moment'. It's not. It's usually messy, awkward and (if you're a woman) painful.

[JulesF]

Originally Posted by Psychosis

Well, for women, you kinda have to. The guy is going to find out anyway and it's best to pre-warn to avoid that awkward moment.

No, not necessarily. Many female virgins don't have hymens any more.

[Psychosis]

Originally Posted by JulesF

I know it's wrong of me, but I do find the idea of, say, a 30-year-old virgin a bit odd, and I would be wondering whether there was some sort of problem. I don't really buy into the whole 'losing one's virginity is a sacred, special moment'. It's not. It's usually messy, awkward and (if you're a woman) painful.

Well, exactly. I think you've just answered your own question. It is messy, awkward and painful. Why would you do something messy, awkward and painful unless you really, really, really loved that person?

[JulesF]

Originally Posted by Psychosis

Well, exactly. I think you've just answered your own question. It is messy, awkward and painful. Why would you do something messy, awkward and painful unless you really, really, really loved that person?

I really don't see it that way. I'd much rather get the awkwardness out of the way by practising with someone who was kind and that I liked but who wasn't the love of my life (which is exactly what I did), so that I was ready to tumble joyfully into bed with the love of my life at a later date in the knowledge that I knew what I was doing. Losing my virginity was not a big thing for me - I just wanted to get it out of the way. That's just me though. Horses for courses and all that...

[Saigo]

Why would you want someone to have had sex with someone else? Surely it is what happens between the two of you that matters.

Doesn't exactly fill me with joy that my partner has slept with other men (I have the old fashioned view of sex being intimate) so would not have been a problem for me!

[Thomas007]

Originally Posted by JulesF

I haven't voted because, like others, I'm a bit confused about the male/female thing in the poll, but I'm with Victoria Sponge on this. It wouldn't be a deal-breaker if I really liked the guy, but I really don't find the idea of taking someone's virginity a turn-on at all. I'm happily married, but if I was single now (in my mid-thirties) I would want someone who knows what they are doing in the sack. Having to teach someone the ropes would be a right bore.

I know it's wrong of me, but I do find the idea of, say, a 30-year-old virgin a bit odd, and I would be wondering whether there was some sort of problem. I don't really buy into the whole 'losing one's virginity is a sacred, special moment'. It's not. It's usually messy, awkward and (if you're a woman) painful.

The poll corresponds to the person who is voting and then the age they would like to have a cut off point.

So "female, 30" would mean a female saying she would not a date a male virgin over the age of 30 under any circumstances.

[geniusgirl]

Originally Posted by Thomas007

The poll corresponds to the person who is voting and then the age they would like to have a cut off point.

So "female, 30" would mean a female saying she would not a date a male virgin over the age of 30 under any circumstances.

I did the other way around.
I wouldn't go with a Male 30 virgin

[TheEricPollard]

Originally Posted by JulesF

No, not necessarily. Many female virgins don't have hymens any more.

99.9% of female virgins have a hymen, and about the same percentage of female non-virgins who haven't given birth vaginally probably have a hymen too.

Originally Posted by Psychosis

It is messy, awkward and painful.

You did it wrong...

[Porcupine]

Originally Posted by TheEricPollard

You did it wrong...

It was for me as well. It was so painful it took about 3 attempts before I could go through with it. There was also a lot of blood involved. Not good.

[Pootmatoot]

Originally Posted by Psychosis

Well, for women, you kinda have to. The guy is going to find out anyway and it's best to pre-warn to avoid that awkward moment.

Anyone over 30 with an intact hymen, virgin or not, has been leading a very, very sedentary life.

[pugamo]

Originally Posted by Saigo

Why would you want someone to have had sex with someone else? Surely it is what happens between the two of you that matters.

Doesn't exactly fill me with joy that my partner has slept with other men (I have the old fashioned view of sex being intimate) so would not have been a problem for me!

If fills me with joy that my boyfriend has been with other people when he knows exactly what he's doing and doesn't continually
ruin the moment by asking if he's doing ok

[shelleyj89]

It wouldn't bother me. I'd be more bothered about what they were like as a person and how they felt about me, then whether they'd hae sex or not before. There could be many reasons why someone older hasn't had sex.

[Espresso]

Originally Posted by Victoria Sponge

What if the virgin wanted to carry on being a virgin though? Then what? Personally I couldn't be in a relationship and abstain from sex. I'd end up seeking it elsewhere...what are the alternatives?

A virgin + someone who likes sex = not a compatible relationship.

Aye. You're right.
It hadn't dawned on me that the virgin might want to stay that way. Which probably makes me all kinds of a nyphomaniac.

Good shout.

[jy1541]

At 20 I'd probably wonder what was wrong with them, but it wouldn't be a deal breaker until 30.

[btb23]

Round where I grew up over 13 would be a sign that something was wrong, if they weren't good enough for someone by that age then time to move on.

[angelafisher]

Guess I'm the weird one, I was a virgin on my wedding day, aged 37. Made up for it since though!! And since I've only ever slept with my husband, I just assume that he's the bees knees in bed.

[Pie Chart]

Originally Posted by angelafisher

Guess I'm the weird one, I was a virgin on my wedding day, aged 37. Made up for it since though!! And since I've only ever slept with my husband, I just assume that he's the bees knees in bed.

Well, I think that's lovely!

[LaceyLouelle3]

Originally Posted by Pootmatoot

Perhaps he has your hymen on his wall, like a stag's head?

Well probably too much info here but I didn't bleed at all, so I assume it was already broken...

[Leanna1989]

I'm 22 and still a virgin. I'm waiting for marriage, though. I try to date people with similar values as mine and of the same basic belief system. If I got involved with somebody who was as involved in church as I was I would assume he is a virgin unless he had been married before. People do make mistakes, though, so I wouldn't hold it against him if he had had sex, as long as it had been in the past.

[xmodz10]

Originally Posted by Pootmatoot

I suspect many people just wouldn't announce it, and would hope for the best. It's only in the movies that people scream "I'M STILL A VIRGIN!" seconds before penetration. The internet has been around long enough for even a virgin to know what they're supposed to be doing, this isn't 1920 when it could mean you had literally no idea what was about to happen or what you would do.

people have freedom of choice, you cant say that virgins should know what they are suppose to be doing, they have free choice.

[Bedsit Bob]

Would never be a dealbreaker.

Doesn't matter how old they were, if I was massively attracted to them, I'd go for it.

[Tom_]

Why would anybody think it's a negative thing unless for selfish reasons such as "how good they are"...pathetic if you actually liked them. Ver pathetic.

[Buubuu]

I doubt experience necessarily equals competence. Many people play football every week for years and still can't trap a ball, you know.