I need some inspiration for this poem, I've got writers block even though i know whatever the outcome it will be excruciatingly Awful . I can't wait to receive my t shirt transfer, I need to decide which font to get.

How about wingdings?

I think that would be a bit too ambitious , I've been boring and asked for the 'LA Army' slogan in blue.

That's exactly why I'm not getting involved!

Oh, great, NOW you tell me - after I've just humiliated myself and put mine in.






Just promise you won't laugh at the rest of us

I promise I won't even read them. Poetry makes my toes curl at the best of times. All that wandering lonely as a cloud nonsense.

That's probably for the best

Lol

I wandered lonely as a cloud
And chanced upon Big Brother.
One Luke was strutting, vain and proud,
But I preferred the other.

Oh, that's hilarious, thank you.

Makes me laugh when they pick on our Luke for not getting along with the other one - would you ?

He's not as bad as some of the others who were in the house with them but he was so vain and selfish he would have seriously got on my wick too if I'd had to be with him 24 hours a day.

Coward Is that the right attitude for a soldier to behave?

That's brilliant WD Very Wordsworthian

Mine is more of a limerick:-


Luke and Adam did bromance
Sometimes Adam forgot his underpants!
They had lots of smokes
Both jolly nice blokes
They made our lives more enhanced

Let's raise a glass,
To Adam's ass,
and Luke's great wink,
Let the glasses clink!

Lol.

I await the burning white feather.


OK, you're converting me. If you enter that and it wins I'll demand you credit me for the inspiration.

My, this really has gone quiet. I am just testing to see if anyone comes on here now who is not in the facebook group. If they do, I can continue to update with any news and comments.

I think 'lonely as a cloud' should be shared with the facebook group if you haven't done so already.

I keep checking in here- I prefer it tbh

Did you all read the first draft of Luke's book? Apparently a ghost writer approached him but I think he writes well enough to do it himself - especially as his Mother was an English teacher.

Kind of yes, kind of no. I liked what he wrote and thought he did it well. But if he submitted it to a pubishing company as a completed manuscript they would edit it to hell anyway - that 's just what they do. Publishing in hard copy is surprisingly formulaic - (presumably not if you are J K Rowling, who could have submitted her dry cleaning receipts and they would have published them) - writers are often startled about how much of their lovely manuscript has gone completely and how much has been jumbled up. I have done some not very glamorous writing for magazines and used to look in consternation at how much of my deathless prose had obviously been binned, especially as I was paid by the 500 words.

A respectful ghost writer just does the same process but a bit earlier down the line, and has the advantage that they know the publisher and won't write anything that will be rejected.

People like Victoria Beckham and Katie Price have ruined the reputation of ghost writing, which has a perfectly reputable side in which interviews are just transcribed and presented attractlvely.

I would love Luke to do a proper hard-copy book; hopeless z-listers like chantelle and towie people have been allowed to talk bollocks over 40,000 words, and Luke has actually had an interesting life, and has a story that would not only be interesting but quite valuable for a lot of people to read.

Yes, I read it. I just hope it's not ghost writer as in I'll tell something a tiny bit similar to your story and, don't worry Luke, you might not recognise it but I'll make a bit of cash from it. This guy can write - he just needs someone to proof-read and maybe keep it on track, help to slant it in an accessible way for the market it's aimed at.

Unfortunately, I don't have very high hopes if it's arranged through the agent who dealt with last year's housemates - epic fail from what I've seen even though many of them were as marketable as housemates from previous years.

Sorry for seeming so down, from the bit I've seen the book could be really good, I just hope it's allowed to reach its full potential not thrown together to make a quick buck for the agent and ghost writer.

I have to sit on my hands to prevent myself from correcting spelling mistakes though! (Although I commit many such sins myself)

As a friend works for Harper Collins she got me to advise one of their authors (who shall remain nameless) on aspects of the bar and chambers life. As a result I kept on getting drafts of the manuscript which meant I had read the book lots of times before it was published.(It gets rather tedious after a while- and many journeys and routines became eerily like my own!!! ) I took him dining in Middle Temple Hall which he found fascinating, but having to do 24 dinners before being called, it has far less allure to me

Luke's story would certainly be a fascinating read, some biographies are surprisingly interesting. I agree with Noisy Oyster that I hope it's done well

In real life I am terrible (though my spelling isn't that good so I've no excuse). When I got my first mobile phone that would send text messages I refused to use it because it had no semi-colon. On the forum I wouldn't dream of pointing out other peoples' spelling/ grammar mistakes; apart from making you look like a pain, it makes you so vulnerable to having all your own mistakes pointing out.

Now all curious (course I am) about where L and B are moving to. The house next door to me is empty, but we have nicked the bird bath so it is hardly worth having now.

I'm very excited for Luke taking this chance to write his book. As well as helping us understand how unusual his life's been I'm sure he'll find it very therapeutic. I have fads of writing stuff for my own amusement (I don't really do it for other people to read) and I find as soon as I've written down whatever's bugging me then it's out of my system and I don't dwell on it any more.

Reading that little snippet, I expect he's full of those sorts of anecdotes where he can look back and now see the funny side. Remember the one he told on BB when a man with Tourette's saw him and yelled "LESBIAAAAAAN"? Ouch! I really hope he doesn't shy away from the painful and shocking stuff though. I want to get an idea of why he's spent 30 years hating himself, even though thankfully he's now in a much happier place with a bright future ahead of him.

If he's got to pitch the book on the strength of one chapter then he needs to start with one of his most powerful stories. I'm not sure that Christmas one is quite punchy enough. I want to be hit in the guts on page 1! He also needs some help putting his words into more literary language but hopefully that's where the ghost writer (or even his Mum) will come into play.

He's definitely got the spark of a great story teller though and even in that little bit he's got me sympathising with young Laura.

Great to read comments from those of you who actually understand about book publishing. I have to admit that when I think of ghost writers, I think of Katie Price who gives the writer an outline and leaves the rest to the ghost writer. I know Luke doesn't appear to be happy with his agent so I hope he gets a good book deal whoever writes the book. How easy is it to change agents?

They will have a contract, but presumably it will be time-limited. I get the impression that signing with the Ch 5 favoured agent is part of the deal for going on BB at all these days. He can't be very good imo - no one last year seemed to get any work at all, even Aaron, who was surely attractive and articulate enough to manage something.

I have the feeling I saw somewhere that all of last year's housemates signed up for the set period with C5's agent, apart from Louise who already had her own agent.

You would certainly have expected more from Aaron but not just him - off the top of my head Faye (pretty, smart, articulate and a decent singer), Maisy (extremely pretty like an old-fashioned 50s movie star), Jay & Louise (attractive couple, very much in love) and Mark (mad as a box of frogs and charming) are all people I would have expected to see more of who seemed to get virtually nothing apart from the usual personal appearances in nightclubs. There were rumours of Aaron appearing on Loose Women but as far as I know he never even managed that. Ialso know Aaron and Faye were talking about a pilot for a TV programme but nothing much came of it apart from a rather dodgy Youtube video and Aaron is only now talking about his book. On the face of it, it appears that the agent talks a good game but isn't very good at pulling these things off, I hope I'm proved wrong because Luke deserves much better than this.