[lilymclyntyre95]

Cheryl said on Daybreak that if she had had a sensible head on her shoulders at school she would have liked to have become a forensic detective as she loves the crim channels and finds the work fascinating.

There are people on twitter discussing her GCSES results and the qualifications she got. On a video herb brother Gary claimed she got none at all but she must have gotten some as in a book it says she had a few.

Also,her niece said Cheryl has always told her that she needs to get an education first. I wonder if Cheryl thinks she could have done things differently. I'm sure she could very well have gotten into a career as a forensic detective had she as she says herself,put her head down and worked harder. You can tell from interviews that she is very well spoken and coherent

[mary patricia]

Originally Posted by lilymclyntyre95

Cheryl said on Daybreak that if she had had a sensible head on her shoulders at school she would have liked to have become a forensic detective as she loves the crim channels and finds the work fascinating.

There are people on twitter discussing her GCSES results and the qualifications she got. On a video herb brother Gary claimed she got none at all but she must have gotten some as in a book it says she had a few.

Also,her niece said Cheryl has always told her that she needs to get an education first. I wonder if Cheryl thinks she could have done things differently. I'm sure she could very well have gotten into a career as a forensic detective had she as she says herself,put her head down and worked harder. You can tell from interviews that she is very well spoken and coherent

Being a forensic detective is nowhere near as exciting as it's made out to be on CSI. It's lab work, repeating the same prodedures over and over again. I don't think Cheryl would be suited to it at all. She would be bored with it.

[RealityRocks]

I don't mind Cheryl all that much but I think it's pretty obvious she's not a bright spark, and I doubt she got any GCSEs (her book is EXTREMELY vague on her educational achievements).

I don't think she realises it's not a case of watching CSI and going 'oh aaad be gud at dat ahh would', you have to pretty much excel in GCSEs and A Levels centred around sciences and mathematics before you are even considered a candidate for Forensic Science at a decent uni. I didn't do a science degree, my friend did Forensics and got so bored of 'staring at numbers' that when she graduated she ended up running her own newsagents!

[thefairydandy]

Originally Posted by lilymclyntyre95

You can tell from interviews that she is very well spoken and coherent

I don't want to turn this into a Cheryl bashing thread, but for one, most celebrities are strongly briefed on what to say and how to appear in interviews. Yes, a truely dumb one will stand out even with these briefings (I'm looking at you, Andre), but you can't read a book by it's cover in celebland.

For two 'being sparky in interviews' doesn't feature too highly on the demands for Forensic Scientists. You need to have strong maths skills, a good knowledge of scientific method, and pay close attention to detail. Plus they don't give you a gun and let you go interviewing suspects like in CSI, so it's probably not as exicting as she thinks.

Still, it's better than all those who keep banging on about how 'ooh, I loved running as a kid, I could have been an Olympian' types.

[cm1992]

Not that it would ever happen but thought it would be worth mentioning. She doesn't watch CSI. She watches those real murder programmes. So I'm sure she knows it's not as glossy as CSI. She even tweeted about a child murder case once. It was horrific.

[tysonstorm]

I can picture it:

Cheryl: Areet Trippy lad, whats garn on ere like?

Det. Sgt. Frank Tripp: Well we got a call about 7am, the maid over there found the body in the bathroom, the boyfriend who we suspect is the assailant was seen running from the scene about 5 mins before we arrived.

Cheryl: Ah reet. *kneels down by the dead body* Ere there semen in this lasse ear like.

Det. Sgt. Frank Tripp: We suspect her ear may have been sexually penetrated by the assailant, what do you think Tweedy?

Cheryl: Well a knar one thing like Trippy *puts on stupid oversized Jackie Onassis-style sunglasses* she neva sor her killa cummin.

*Whhhhhhhhyyyyyyyyyyaaaaaaayyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!* goes the intro of CSI Geordie.

Anyway joking aside, doesn't Cheryls school "edukayshun" predate these glossy American murder investigation dramas and programmes?

[granted08]

Originally Posted by lilymclyntyre95

You can tell from interviews that she is very well spoken and coherent

That's only because she's read a script that PR have typed up. She's got to keep her fanbase interested and she can't do that by just "Where me soldier's at?" on Twitter. PR have to make her into a "role model" how else is the money going to come in.

[lilymclyntyre95]

On twitter it said GCSE grades were A*,A,B,C,D,E,F and U,unclassified. I just don't believe she could have failed everyone one of them

[RayofLight]

Originally Posted by tysonstorm

I can picture it:

Cheryl: Areet Trippy lad, whats garn on ere like?

Det. Sgt. Frank Tripp: Well we got a call about 7am, the maid over there found the body in the bathroom, the boyfriend who we suspect is the assailant was seen running from the scene about 5 mins before we arrived.

Cheryl: Ah reet. *kneels down by the dead body* Ere there semen in this lasse ear like.

Det. Sgt. Frank Tripp: We suspect her ear may have been sexually penetrated by the assailant, what do you think Tweedy?

Cheryl: Well a knar one thing like Trippy *puts on stupid oversized Jackie Onassis-style sunglasses* she neva sor her killa cummin.

*Whhhhhhhhyyyyyyyyyyaaaaaaayyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!* goes the intro of CSI Geordie.

Anyway joking aside, doesn't Cheryls school "edukayshun" predate these glossy American murder investigation dramas and programmes?

That's terrible, but funny.

[DariaM]

Wouldn't a Trainee Hair Dresser be more in tune with the competence of Cheryl Cole, a role for which she remains ideally suited, and I am sure that any number of high street hairdressing outlets would graciously consider any application that she issued to become an Unpaid Intern within the salon...., making cups of tea for the customers, sweeping floors, cleaning toilets etc.

[Jerrica09]

When people say this kind of thing it always reminds me of a quote from Kath and Kim 'I could have done anything if I'd had the talent!'

Mind you, no-one can say she hasn't done well for herself. And with her money there's nothing blocking her from pursuing her ambition,if she really wants to do it.

[Saltydog1955]

Qualifications for entry to a BSc (Hons) degree at London South Bank Uni.

200 UCAS points [CDD at A Level – of which two must be science subjects (biology, chemistry, physics or mathematics, or related subjects), with at least one subject including practical laboratory skills development]; or
BTEC National Diploma – MMP; or
All Level 3 qualifications welcome - including Access courses; and
Five GCSEs including Maths and English.
We welcome qualifications from around the world. English language qualifications for international students: IELTS score of 6.0, TOFEL - 550 (print-based), TOFEL- 80 (internet-based), Cambridge Proficiency or Advanced Grade C.

http://prospectus.lsbu.ac.uk/courses...?UCASCode=F410

I doubt Cheryl would have the brains - then or now.

[Phoenix Lazarus]

If she had 'put her head down.' Is this Cheryl the Elizabethan ghost, decapitated at the block?

[Terry Wigon]

"Put her head down," where? Wait, I don't think I want to know!

[Big Boy Barry]

Cheryl says if she had put her head down in school she would be forensic detective

Spoiler

Nah

That's an open goal

Where's the challenge?

[grumpyscot]

Originally Posted by tysonstorm

I can picture it:

Cheryl: Areet Trippy lad, whats garn on ere like?

Det. Sgt. Frank Tripp: Well we got a call about 7am, the maid over there found the body in the bathroom, the boyfriend who we suspect is the assailant was seen running from the scene about 5 mins before we arrived.

Cheryl: Ah reet. *kneels down by the dead body* Ere there semen in this lasse ear like.

Det. Sgt. Frank Tripp: We suspect her ear may have been sexually penetrated by the assailant, what do you think Tweedy?

Cheryl: Well a knar one thing like Trippy *puts on stupid oversized Jackie Onassis-style sunglasses* she neva sor her killa cummin.

*Whhhhhhhhyyyyyyyyyyaaaaaaayyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!* goes the intro of CSI Geordie.

Anyway joking aside, doesn't Cheryls school "edukayshun" predate these glossy American murder investigation dramas and programmes?

Nice one - cheered me up completely!

[PorkSausage]

Originally Posted by Big Boy Barry

Spoiler

Nah

That's an open goal

Where's the challenge?

Tulisa?

[Grouty]

Shed be used to the taste by now

[Helbore]

Yeah and Peter Andre could have been a nucular fisasist if he wanted to, as well.

Heck, I wonder - if Cheryl had paid more attention in music class, I wonder if she could have been a singer, too?

[Charles II]

Originally Posted by lilymclyntyre95

Cheryl said on Daybreak that if she had had a sensible head on her shoulders at school she would have liked to have become a forensic detective as she loves the crim channels and finds the work fascinating.

There are people on twitter discussing her GCSES results and the qualifications she got. On a video herb brother Gary claimed she got none at all but she must have gotten some as in a book it says she had a few.

Also,her niece said Cheryl has always told her that she needs to get an education first. I wonder if Cheryl thinks she could have done things differently. I'm sure she could very well have gotten into a career as a forensic detective had she as she says herself,put her head down and worked harder. You can tell from interviews that she is very well spoken and coherent

...Uhhh, this particular interview must have escaped me.

[Unigal07]

Originally Posted by lilymclyntyre95

Cheryl said on Daybreak that if she had had a sensible head on her shoulders at school she would have liked to have become a forensic detective as she loves the crim channels and finds the work fascinating.

There are people on twitter discussing her GCSES results and the qualifications she got. On a video herb brother Gary claimed she got none at all but she must have gotten some as in a book it says she had a few.

Also,her niece said Cheryl has always told her that she needs to get an education first. I wonder if Cheryl thinks she could have done things differently. I'm sure she could very well have gotten into a career as a forensic detective had she as she says herself,put her head down and worked harder. You can tell from interviews that she is very well spoken and coherent

BIB - excuse me while I LMFAO.

[Unigal07]

Originally Posted by tysonstorm

I can picture it:

Cheryl: Areet Trippy lad, whats garn on ere like?

Det. Sgt. Frank Tripp: Well we got a call about 7am, the maid over there found the body in the bathroom, the boyfriend who we suspect is the assailant was seen running from the scene about 5 mins before we arrived.

Cheryl: Ah reet. *kneels down by the dead body* Ere there semen in this lasse ear like.

Det. Sgt. Frank Tripp: We suspect her ear may have been sexually penetrated by the assailant, what do you think Tweedy?

Cheryl: Well a knar one thing like Trippy *puts on stupid oversized Jackie Onassis-style sunglasses* she neva sor her killa cummin.

*Whhhhhhhhyyyyyyyyyyaaaaaaayyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!* goes the intro of CSI Geordie.

Anyway joking aside, doesn't Cheryls school "edukayshun" predate these glossy American murder investigation dramas and programmes?

Love this Thanks for the giggle!

Originally Posted by Helbore

Heck, I wonder - if Cheryl had paid more attention in music class, I wonder if she could have been a singer, too?

Excellent point

[Rotationbl]

Originally Posted by DariaM

Wouldn't a Trainee Hair Dresser be more in tune with the competence of Cheryl Cole, a role for which she remains ideally suited, and I am sure that any number of high street hairdressing outlets would graciously consider any application that she issued to become an Unpaid Intern within the salon...., making cups of tea for the customers, sweeping floors, cleaning toilets etc.

Keep her away from the toilets

[tysonstorm]

Originally Posted by Unigal07

Love this Thanks for the giggle!

lol no probs, I did actually notice a few typos and missing letters afterwards but it was too late to edit the post so I apologise for that, but you get the gist.

[maninthequeue]

Well with Britain's greatest female singer/songwriter about to score another UK Top 10 hit single 34 years after her first ..... seeing this thread and Cheryl's quotes brings me to mind a single she released back in 1981 about how society was moving towards wanting everything for nothing without putting the effort in:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4csr6pLZLg
"I want to be a lawyer.
I want to be a scholar.
But I really can't be bothered.
Ooh, just gimme it quick, gimme it, gimme gimme gimme gimme! ... "