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Emmerdale - 100 ways to kill "Maurel"


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Old 09-09-2012, 20:26
Melephunk2010
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Just thought i'd do this for a giggle. It's just a joke thread, there is no malice intended, no intention to cause a rift on the boards..it's just to have a laugh. No fans need to feel offended..If there are any, obviously.

Thanks to Dobby's Bludger for the suggestion too. x

Who's going to start us off then?
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Old 09-09-2012, 20:27
CRP2012
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1. They go for a nice country drive & crash into a petrol tank - last thing we see is morons chef hat
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Old 09-09-2012, 20:30
MissLola
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2. Jackson could come back from the dead and tell the villagers that if they really love him they will kill Maurel because it's what he wants.
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Old 09-09-2012, 20:35
Melephunk2010
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2. Jackson could come back from the dead and tell the villagers that if they really love him they will kill Maurel because it's what he wants.
cue Aaron bursting through the door with a packet of paracetemol.

3. Their eardrums burst and they bleed to death when Gabby locks them in a room and forces them to listen to Westlife.
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Old 09-09-2012, 20:38
CRP2012
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4. They run to the aiport to stop paddy,rhona & leo go to new zealand - they run onto the runaway When..........PLAT! - Moron get hit by the plain his sons on!Laurel runs after the plain knowing its what Moron & Jackson would of wanted but her hair gets caught in the fans of another plane thats landed,the first person to step off the plain is of cause bernice!
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Old 09-09-2012, 21:04
Melephunk2010
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5. Nikhil bores them to death with a two hour lecture about Calories.
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Old 09-09-2012, 21:07
wuffles
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Paddeh finally snaps and suffocates them both with TheArms' bandana and his 'flippin' toad in the hole' as he put it last week.
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Old 09-09-2012, 21:08
gboy
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7. Carl King murders them and gets away with it.
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Old 09-09-2012, 21:18
Tom_Willis
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Laurel gets bitten by a bumble bee and then turns into one!

Marlon accidently stands on Laurel and squashes her.

Marlon can't live without the 1st, 2nd or 3rd love of his life, so he cooks himself.

The end.
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Old 09-09-2012, 21:23
Melephunk2010
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Laurel gets bitten by a bumble bee and then turns into one!

Marlon accidently stands on Laurel and squashes her.

Marlon can't live without the 1st, 2nd or 3rd love of his life, so he cooks himself.

The end.
Best yet. lol.

Robbie accidentally runs them over on his bike & stabalisers.
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Old 09-09-2012, 21:25
mtomlinson1
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10. Baby Leo get's out of his pram and into Paddys car, then runs over Maurel in an angry rage...

Apparently, he actualy wanted a 2 year holiday in New Zealand...
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Old 09-09-2012, 21:27
xynaria
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Fed up with never having any privacy Maurel go off into the vast countryside so they can get biblical but such is their uncontrolled ardour that unfortunately penis captivus ensues..........quite sad for a cook to starve to death but it could be worse I guess..........
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Old 09-09-2012, 21:29
DuchessKitty
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Marlon cooks a "romantic" meal for two for him and Laurel, Except he forgets to cook the chicken and they both get salmonella and die.
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Old 09-09-2012, 21:30
doctorwhofancal
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13. Marlon steps on a large piece of Leo's Lego in Paddeh's house goes running like mad crying into the vet surgery but steps on a needle that Pearl dropped doing her sudoku, he runs into a cage only to be eaten by a man eating python that tootsie had eaten. Laurel goes to the Woolpack to find him but is trapped in by Diane when she puts barrels in front of the door. Laurel finally gets out a day later but it's raining and she's a witch so she melts
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Old 09-09-2012, 21:35
Melephunk2010
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13. Marlon steps on a large piece of Leo's Lego in Paddeh's house goes running like mad crying into the vet surgery but steps on a needle that Pearl dropped doing her sudoku, he runs into a cage only to be eaten by a man eating python that tootsie had eaten. Laurel goes to the Woolpack to find him but is trapped in by Diane when she puts barrels in front of the door. Laurel finally gets out a day later but it's raining and she's a witch so she melts
I think the most impressive thing there was Tootsie eating a man-eating python!

14. Maurel. Carl King. Window. Bye.
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Old 09-09-2012, 22:12
Catmittens
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15. Betty "accidentally" dices both of them up and bakes them into one of her cakes.
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Old 09-09-2012, 22:28
xynaria
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Really they should actually get married and live happily ever after........................
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Old 09-09-2012, 22:34
dequeen
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4. They run to the aiport to stop paddy,rhona & leo go to new zealand - they run onto the runaway When..........PLAT! - Moron get hit by the plain his sons on!Laurel runs after the plain knowing its what Moron & Jackson would of wanted but her hair gets caught in the fans of another plane thats landed,the first person to step off the plain is of cause bernice!


LOL I'm loving this.
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Old 09-09-2012, 22:50
SecretLifeoBees
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Laurel gets bitten by a bumble bee and then turns into one!
Lol that puts me in mind of the Royal Jelly episode from Tales of the Unexpected where the beekeeper bloke starts eating royal jelly and eventually turns into a bee. One of my favourite episodes.
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Old 09-09-2012, 23:20
CRP2012
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:16.Laurel turns into a proper cow & gets sent to the slaughter house,marlon realises what has happend & goes to save his beloved - he gets there & jumpes into the machine - 3 week later in ASDA Leeds people start to complain of funny tasting Beef Bugers
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Old 09-09-2012, 23:32
whoyouarexo
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love this thread

Please separate them ED. between them and Chas and Cameron I've lost the will to watch!
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Old 09-09-2012, 23:33
Tom_Willis
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Best yet. lol.

Robbie accidentally runs them over on his bike & stabalisers.


An excellent way for Robbie to redeem himself.
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Old 09-09-2012, 23:35
doctorwhofancal
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That awkward menu Marlon has in his house falls on him and he turns into a mouse.....Marlon The Mouse, this turns into a hit kids show, quite literally. Kids start throwing the DVD box sets and plastic figurines at Marlon so much he jumps off the Blackpool Tower only to turn into Batman and save Tirrone in Corrie from the evil Kirsty and become Dr Who's new companion, then one day, the Doctor reveals that Dannii Minogue has been killed by the evil Sharon Osbourne, Marlon the Superman-mouse uses his new machine to transport to England, his chefs hat! However on the way down, the hat splits and Marlon the Superman-mouse falls through and lands on home farm only to be squashed by a sheep that has learnt how to drive after it swapped brains with Zak Dingle. As for Laurel, well she just fell asleep on the conveyor belt in the sweet shop, she came out completely covered in toffee ready for Halloween....Gabby and Arthur are given the biggest toffee ever!!!!
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Old 09-09-2012, 23:42
crafty_1
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Laurel goes to hug moron and accidently hits him with her nose and kills him. Heartbroken she kills herself
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Old 09-09-2012, 23:42
Gwen_PYC
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17. A meteor falls from the sky and crushes Marlon and Laurel while they are in a clinch in the middle of the village.
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