I have tried literally everything, I've given up so I'm just gonna send it back. But I am with Vodafone and bought it through Carphone Warehouse. Who do I go to to ask for a replacement?

Sorry if this seems like a daft question but in all my life this is the first time a phone has completely died on me

P.S. Don't buy the Blackberry Bold 9900 if you're thinking about doing so...

If you brought it from CPW then you should go through them I would have thought as your "contract (in terms of your rights)" is with them.

The stickied thread at the top has information on what to do in the event of a fault. However the other poster is correct. Your contract under the SOGA is with CPW and it is they who should arrange a repair. You could also approach RIM and get a repair under any warranty they offer