Originally Posted by Monaogg:
“Tess has the "wont someone rid me of this turbulent Bruce" look permanently affixed to her face now.”
“Tess has the "wont someone rid me of this turbulent Bruce" look permanently affixed to her face now.”
I liked this.
SCD Series X 'Post of the Day'
6 of 6
This from Button62, re Craig's marking of Lisa:
Originally Posted by Button62:
“As for Craig, if he thinks that unholy mess of shite footwork posture and technique was worth 2 more points than Nicky he should hang his head in shame. What that man knows about dancing could be written on a gnat's arse with room for God Save the Queen too ( all six verses )”
“As for Craig, if he thinks that unholy mess of shite footwork posture and technique was worth 2 more points than Nicky he should hang his head in shame. What that man knows about dancing could be written on a gnat's arse with room for God Save the Queen too ( all six verses )”
Originally Posted by Great Dane:
“I would like to unappreciate the wardrobe department who obviously used the entire supply of silver lametta for Lisa's costume which is why I couldn't find any yesterday for my Christmas tree”
“I would like to unappreciate the wardrobe department who obviously used the entire supply of silver lametta for Lisa's costume which is why I couldn't find any yesterday for my Christmas tree
”
Very seasonal
How to survive the last 2 weeks on here...
Originally Posted by perdiedumpling:
“The main thing is "don't take it personally if people don't like your favourite".”
“The main thing is "don't take it personally if people don't like your favourite".”
Originally Posted by Alli-F:
“I'm going to have to cross stitch that on a cushion for every member of the board and not just the non-appers.
”
“I'm going to have to cross stitch that on a cushion for every member of the board and not just the non-appers.
”
Somewhat off forum, but perhaps a timely reminder of what is really important.
Originally Posted by Ignazio:
“Try not to lose sleep over the role of feisty women on SCD penelope.
When the series ends the sun will still rise in the east and set in the west; Britain will still be shivering in winter's unkind climate and war will still rage. We'll still be in recession and there'll be little Christmas cheer for some. There are those who will be afraid to turn on the heating for fear of running up bills they cannot to afford to pay. Many will depend on charity for food, warm clothing and even second hand toys for their children.
This year instead of sending Christmas cards I'm donating what they would have cost to my local food bank. How outrageous that in this day and age people have to rely on food banks for food to keep body and soul together.
I'm godparent to many children, all of whom come from comfortable, secure and well heeled backgrounds. I have told their parents that this year gifts will cost no more than 50% of previous years and the balance will be spent on youngsters who have and anticipate little or nothing.
I have friends with children who have so many toys and games etc. that they really don't know what they've got and many of them are as new. I've begged them to donate these to children with few expectations of a visit from Santa and asked them to buy at least one extra present for the young have nots - from babes to 16+.
So penelope forgive me if my heart doesn't bleed for Denise and her doppelgangers - I worry more for those who fall victim to the recession - losing their jobs, their homes and their dignity; I also worry for children who are abused physically, mentally and sexually and the victims of war, famine and natural disasters excite far more despair in me than future contestants on SCD whether or not they have been put off by Denise's experience.”
“Try not to lose sleep over the role of feisty women on SCD penelope.
When the series ends the sun will still rise in the east and set in the west; Britain will still be shivering in winter's unkind climate and war will still rage. We'll still be in recession and there'll be little Christmas cheer for some. There are those who will be afraid to turn on the heating for fear of running up bills they cannot to afford to pay. Many will depend on charity for food, warm clothing and even second hand toys for their children.
This year instead of sending Christmas cards I'm donating what they would have cost to my local food bank. How outrageous that in this day and age people have to rely on food banks for food to keep body and soul together.
I'm godparent to many children, all of whom come from comfortable, secure and well heeled backgrounds. I have told their parents that this year gifts will cost no more than 50% of previous years and the balance will be spent on youngsters who have and anticipate little or nothing.
I have friends with children who have so many toys and games etc. that they really don't know what they've got and many of them are as new. I've begged them to donate these to children with few expectations of a visit from Santa and asked them to buy at least one extra present for the young have nots - from babes to 16+.
So penelope forgive me if my heart doesn't bleed for Denise and her doppelgangers - I worry more for those who fall victim to the recession - losing their jobs, their homes and their dignity; I also worry for children who are abused physically, mentally and sexually and the victims of war, famine and natural disasters excite far more despair in me than future contestants on SCD whether or not they have been put off by Denise's experience.”
Originally Posted by Monaogg:
“Somewhat off forum, but perhaps a timely reminder of what is really important.”
“Somewhat off forum, but perhaps a timely reminder of what is really important.”
*standing O to Ignazio*
I'm sorry for bumping up this thread, but this post was just to amazing!
Quote:
“Not a SPOILER – the dance-off last night
BBC is not stupid.
They found out about this forum’s spoiler thread leaking dance-off result around 10pm stealing BBC’s thunder. To outmanouvre DS they decided to film multiple endings, holding back transmission of the real ending until Sunday night, like done on The Apprentice.
I was there, seeing it with my own eyes from the second row.
Dance-off A
“After phone votes and judges marks were counted, in the dance-off are………..” said Tess as the drum kept beating, it seemed for ever,
“Denise and James, and Kimberley and Pasha.” Implementing another change BBC arranged to have both couples dancing on the floor at the same time to the same piece of music like in Dance Fusion last Saturday. More change: couples could choose to reprise any dance. Denise and James chose their Egyptian Charleston circa Tutankhamun (39 marks), Kimberley and Pasha their charleston circa 1920 flappers (40 marks).
Shepherds Bush dance floor being small, when all 4 couples turned cartwheels at the same time, somehow they landed on their feet with different partners: Denise partnering Pasha and Kimberley with James. Judging became extra difficult.
“Craig,” asked Tess, “which couple do you want to save for the Final?” Craig paused and agonised.
“Denise and James,” said Craig without conviction.
“Kemberley and Pasha,” said Darcey without hesitation or agony.
“Bruno?” asked Tess. Bruno jumped up and turned 3 times, Waving arms he fixed Tess with his gaze as if revealing Enigma code decrypted, “Denise and James.”
Tess turned to Len. “As Head Judge with the casting vote, which couple do you want to save?” Normally alarmed by Brucie, Tess was now alarmed as she saw veins throbbing on Len’s face. Len was in worse than a walnut pickle, he was in a no-win situation. He did like Kimberley in the dance-off, but the two celebs did swap partners in mid-dance. Furthermore, only minutes earlier, Len had pointed a finger at Denise after the rumba saying solemnly, “If you did not make the Final it would be an injustice.”
Len felt that as a welder and a gentleman he could not save either couple without compromising his principles. He stood up from the judges bench.
“I’ll be back,’ he said. 30 seconds later he was, holding in his right hand a foot-long kitchen knife with an edge flashing under BBC lights.
“There is only one way out with honour,” said Len. I shall commit hara kiri.” He raised the foot-long knife with fine dancer’s arm extension and posture, taking aim at his belly botton. Craig the 6-footer and Bruno the 5-footer simultaneously lunged at Len to prevent bloodshed on BBC before the watershed. Alas neither man was strong enough to subdue burly Len. In that splitsecond Darcey the supple prima ballerina assoluta leapt out of her seat with great precision. She kissed Len on his right cheek while simultaneously reached over to squeeze Len’s left hand, the one not holding a lethal knife (Darcey was brave but not reckless). Len softened. He sat down -- such is the power of woman.
A lightbulb lit up, he discovered an honourable way out. Borrowing a 50p coin from Sir Bruce he flipped it then said, “I save Denise and James.” Len smiled, crisis over.
Dance-off B
As if nothing had happened, Tess faced the camera, “After phone votes and judges marks were counted, in the dance-off are………..” said Tess as the drum kept beating, it seemed for ever, “Denise and James, and Louis and Flavia.”
Denise chose to reprise her foxtrot, as light as a feather. Louis reprised his foxtrot, as heavy as the Titanic.
Afterwards Tess asked, “Craig, who do you want to save?”
“Louis you must act,” said Craig, “or you will not make the Final. It’s a no-brainer, I save Denise and James.”
“Louis and Flavia,” said Darcey breathing hard, the lowering of her vocal pitch betraying a primeval response in her heart.
“Denise and James,” said Bruno, his windmill arms taking a rest.
“Narrowly,” said Len, “Denise and James.”
Dance-off C
As if nothing had happened, Tess faced the camera, “After phone votes and judges marks were counted, in the dance-off are………..” said Tess as the drum kept beating, it seemed for ever, “Denise and James, and Dani and Vincent.”
Dani and Vincent were determined to reprise their Venetian Waltz in ¾ time featuring bella signorina and gondolier. Denise and James were equally determined to reprise Denise’s favourite jive in 4/4 time. After a huddle with neither side giving ground, Dave Arch decided to split his wonderful wonderful orchestra into two sections. Section left would play ¾ waltz and section right 4/4 jive. Both dances being appealing, fans in both camps started clapalongs, that is two separate clapalongs to two tunes, each camp trying to drown the other. This drove the musicans mad, half of them getting up to surreptiously fleeing out the back. Dave Arch snapped his conductor’s baton and pulled his hair out. Dancers and audience noticed none of this, as everybody was on their feet, clapping and stamping on the floor. “Look, look, it’s a standing ovation,” said Brucie.
“Craig, which couple do you want to save, “ said Tess matter-of-factly.
“Both couples were a-maz-ing,” said Craig, “but by a narrow margin, Dani and Vincent.”
“Denise and James,” said Darcey, valuing technique above presentation.
“I save Dani the little minx,” said Bruno jumping up, turning his upper body to the side and dipping his head to fix his gaze as if to impart another secret.
“I want to save Denise and James,” said Len, by now worse for wear, slumping into his chair.
Bruce retreteated further and further into the shadows.
Dance-off D
As if she just got out of bed, Tess beamed into the camera, “After phone votes and judges marks were counted, in the dance-off are………..” said Tess as the drum kept beating, it seemed for ever, “Denise and James, and ………...”
I never heard the rest. A flash of lightning, a roll of thunder woke me up with a start. I was not in Shepherds Bush but in a small Irish town, sitting in front of my PC, with my middle finger poised as if to press F5 in reflex action. I pressed F5 again. Still the SPOILER thread gave no corroborated result…..
The wine bottle was empty, the boeuf bourguinon with baby asparagus all consumed. My woman who outglams them all had gotten bored with waiting and gone to bed. Off to bed myself then. Can’t wait for the dance-off at 6:50 tonight.”
“Not a SPOILER – the dance-off last night
BBC is not stupid.
They found out about this forum’s spoiler thread leaking dance-off result around 10pm stealing BBC’s thunder. To outmanouvre DS they decided to film multiple endings, holding back transmission of the real ending until Sunday night, like done on The Apprentice.
I was there, seeing it with my own eyes from the second row.
Dance-off A
“After phone votes and judges marks were counted, in the dance-off are………..” said Tess as the drum kept beating, it seemed for ever,
“Denise and James, and Kimberley and Pasha.” Implementing another change BBC arranged to have both couples dancing on the floor at the same time to the same piece of music like in Dance Fusion last Saturday. More change: couples could choose to reprise any dance. Denise and James chose their Egyptian Charleston circa Tutankhamun (39 marks), Kimberley and Pasha their charleston circa 1920 flappers (40 marks).
Shepherds Bush dance floor being small, when all 4 couples turned cartwheels at the same time, somehow they landed on their feet with different partners: Denise partnering Pasha and Kimberley with James. Judging became extra difficult.
“Craig,” asked Tess, “which couple do you want to save for the Final?” Craig paused and agonised.
“Denise and James,” said Craig without conviction.
“Kemberley and Pasha,” said Darcey without hesitation or agony.
“Bruno?” asked Tess. Bruno jumped up and turned 3 times, Waving arms he fixed Tess with his gaze as if revealing Enigma code decrypted, “Denise and James.”
Tess turned to Len. “As Head Judge with the casting vote, which couple do you want to save?” Normally alarmed by Brucie, Tess was now alarmed as she saw veins throbbing on Len’s face. Len was in worse than a walnut pickle, he was in a no-win situation. He did like Kimberley in the dance-off, but the two celebs did swap partners in mid-dance. Furthermore, only minutes earlier, Len had pointed a finger at Denise after the rumba saying solemnly, “If you did not make the Final it would be an injustice.”
Len felt that as a welder and a gentleman he could not save either couple without compromising his principles. He stood up from the judges bench.
“I’ll be back,’ he said. 30 seconds later he was, holding in his right hand a foot-long kitchen knife with an edge flashing under BBC lights.
“There is only one way out with honour,” said Len. I shall commit hara kiri.” He raised the foot-long knife with fine dancer’s arm extension and posture, taking aim at his belly botton. Craig the 6-footer and Bruno the 5-footer simultaneously lunged at Len to prevent bloodshed on BBC before the watershed. Alas neither man was strong enough to subdue burly Len. In that splitsecond Darcey the supple prima ballerina assoluta leapt out of her seat with great precision. She kissed Len on his right cheek while simultaneously reached over to squeeze Len’s left hand, the one not holding a lethal knife (Darcey was brave but not reckless). Len softened. He sat down -- such is the power of woman.
A lightbulb lit up, he discovered an honourable way out. Borrowing a 50p coin from Sir Bruce he flipped it then said, “I save Denise and James.” Len smiled, crisis over.
Dance-off B
As if nothing had happened, Tess faced the camera, “After phone votes and judges marks were counted, in the dance-off are………..” said Tess as the drum kept beating, it seemed for ever, “Denise and James, and Louis and Flavia.”
Denise chose to reprise her foxtrot, as light as a feather. Louis reprised his foxtrot, as heavy as the Titanic.
Afterwards Tess asked, “Craig, who do you want to save?”
“Louis you must act,” said Craig, “or you will not make the Final. It’s a no-brainer, I save Denise and James.”
“Louis and Flavia,” said Darcey breathing hard, the lowering of her vocal pitch betraying a primeval response in her heart.
“Denise and James,” said Bruno, his windmill arms taking a rest.
“Narrowly,” said Len, “Denise and James.”
Dance-off C
As if nothing had happened, Tess faced the camera, “After phone votes and judges marks were counted, in the dance-off are………..” said Tess as the drum kept beating, it seemed for ever, “Denise and James, and Dani and Vincent.”
Dani and Vincent were determined to reprise their Venetian Waltz in ¾ time featuring bella signorina and gondolier. Denise and James were equally determined to reprise Denise’s favourite jive in 4/4 time. After a huddle with neither side giving ground, Dave Arch decided to split his wonderful wonderful orchestra into two sections. Section left would play ¾ waltz and section right 4/4 jive. Both dances being appealing, fans in both camps started clapalongs, that is two separate clapalongs to two tunes, each camp trying to drown the other. This drove the musicans mad, half of them getting up to surreptiously fleeing out the back. Dave Arch snapped his conductor’s baton and pulled his hair out. Dancers and audience noticed none of this, as everybody was on their feet, clapping and stamping on the floor. “Look, look, it’s a standing ovation,” said Brucie.
“Craig, which couple do you want to save, “ said Tess matter-of-factly.
“Both couples were a-maz-ing,” said Craig, “but by a narrow margin, Dani and Vincent.”
“Denise and James,” said Darcey, valuing technique above presentation.
“I save Dani the little minx,” said Bruno jumping up, turning his upper body to the side and dipping his head to fix his gaze as if to impart another secret.
“I want to save Denise and James,” said Len, by now worse for wear, slumping into his chair.
Bruce retreteated further and further into the shadows.
Dance-off D
As if she just got out of bed, Tess beamed into the camera, “After phone votes and judges marks were counted, in the dance-off are………..” said Tess as the drum kept beating, it seemed for ever, “Denise and James, and ………...”
I never heard the rest. A flash of lightning, a roll of thunder woke me up with a start. I was not in Shepherds Bush but in a small Irish town, sitting in front of my PC, with my middle finger poised as if to press F5 in reflex action. I pressed F5 again. Still the SPOILER thread gave no corroborated result…..
The wine bottle was empty, the boeuf bourguinon with baby asparagus all consumed. My woman who outglams them all had gotten bored with waiting and gone to bed. Off to bed myself then. Can’t wait for the dance-off at 6:50 tonight.”
Loved this from one of the anti Bruce threads
Originally Posted by Bevrinton:
“Bruce was in a bad mood after being told before the show that his syrup which has been in showbiz for over 50 years working for greats such as Frank Sinatra and Paul Daniels had decided to retire .”
“Bruce was in a bad mood after being told before the show that his syrup which has been in showbiz for over 50 years working for greats such as Frank Sinatra and Paul Daniels had decided to retire .”
Originally Posted by blackflier:
“I'm sorry for bumping up this thread, but this post was just to amazing!”
“I'm sorry for bumping up this thread, but this post was just to amazing!”
Talent wasted on us!!
Who was the poster?
Sad that this thread has been so quiet this year - a reflection on the total humour by-pass that seems to have afflicted a fair portion of the posters on here.
So these posts are very apt...
So these posts are very apt...
Originally Posted by Tissy:
“
`spite` is a very apt word indeed,
One would think Louis had robbed their grandma”
“
`spite` is a very apt word indeed,
One would think Louis had robbed their grandma
”
Originally Posted by perdiedumpling:
“On first read I thought you said "robbed their grammar". Which, judging by some of the posts out there, is also possible.”
“On first read I thought you said "robbed their grammar". Which, judging by some of the posts out there, is also possible.”
Originally Posted by tabithakitten:
“Please don't tell me Thatcher is lined up to be the next host. Or that she's taking over the Tess-pit.”
“Please don't tell me Thatcher is lined up to be the next host. Or that she's taking over the Tess-pit.”
Originally Posted by mimi dlc:
“It's true.
They're getting Geoffrey Howe in as her straight man”
“It's true.
They're getting Geoffrey Howe in as her straight man”
Someone is back on form
Too many to post but this thread is a hoot
http://forums.digitalspy.co.uk/showt...1775542&page=2
Title:
Drop The Ballroom Dance
http://forums.digitalspy.co.uk/showt...1775542&page=2
Title:
Drop The Ballroom Dance
Off Spin Turn
(sorry don't know how to do this linking Malarkey
)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yeah_Jackie
I don't think they should drop the ballroom dances but I do think it is high time they made them do them on ice skates in a jungle somewhere.
A good idea but I think we could extend the appeal of the programme further.
Make them perform a dance whilst preparing a meal for two using limited ingrediants chosen by the judges. Every other week they would get a choice of 4 dances to choose from or they could "ask a friend" who could choreograph something for them over the phone in 4 mins. Then there could be "Pointless" week where the aim would be to get a zero score from all the judges.
And just another thought, we could have a family fortunes week where they choose 4 relatives to perform a dance with them
Off now to have some more of that mulled wine.
(sorry don't know how to do this linking Malarkey
)Quote:
Originally Posted by Yeah_Jackie
I don't think they should drop the ballroom dances but I do think it is high time they made them do them on ice skates in a jungle somewhere.
A good idea but I think we could extend the appeal of the programme further.
Make them perform a dance whilst preparing a meal for two using limited ingrediants chosen by the judges. Every other week they would get a choice of 4 dances to choose from or they could "ask a friend" who could choreograph something for them over the phone in 4 mins. Then there could be "Pointless" week where the aim would be to get a zero score from all the judges.
And just another thought, we could have a family fortunes week where they choose 4 relatives to perform a dance with them
Off now to have some more of that mulled wine.
Originally Posted by Glanbraint:
“Off Spin Turn
(sorry don't know how to do this linking Malarkey)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yeah_Jackie
I don't think they should drop the ballroom dances but I do think it is high time they made them do them on ice skates in a jungle somewhere.
A good idea but I think we could extend the appeal of the programme further.
Make them perform a dance whilst preparing a meal for two using limited ingrediants chosen by the judges. Every other week they would get a choice of 4 dances to choose from or they could "ask a friend" who could choreograph something for them over the phone in 4 mins. Then there could be "Pointless" week where the aim would be to get a zero score from all the judges.
And just another thought, we could have a family fortunes week where they choose 4 relatives to perform a dance with them
Off now to have some more of that mulled wine.”
“Off Spin Turn
(sorry don't know how to do this linking Malarkey
)Quote:
Originally Posted by Yeah_Jackie
I don't think they should drop the ballroom dances but I do think it is high time they made them do them on ice skates in a jungle somewhere.
A good idea but I think we could extend the appeal of the programme further.
Make them perform a dance whilst preparing a meal for two using limited ingrediants chosen by the judges. Every other week they would get a choice of 4 dances to choose from or they could "ask a friend" who could choreograph something for them over the phone in 4 mins. Then there could be "Pointless" week where the aim would be to get a zero score from all the judges.
And just another thought, we could have a family fortunes week where they choose 4 relatives to perform a dance with them
Off now to have some more of that mulled wine.”
Having seen ITV schedule a programme where you judge dancing dogs, none of these ideas seem outlandish any more
6 of 6
