Well I laughed.

Good lord, was drinking a drink and nearly choked.

YOU ARE MY FAVOURITE

So did I, but I was worried that if I posted it to Digital Spy with no disclaimer, I might get banned!

Not sure everyone got it...glad you did!

Thank You belomb! I will try and think of some more over the coming weeks!!

Excellent, can we be co writers

I'm waiting feed back on mine,i might even apply for xfactor next year

I went out for a curry,
Then mi bowels was in hurry,
Was it the balti, tikka or korma?
To be honest, I think it were the former.

Please do!

I'm ovetanned and trembly
Give me a ballad medley
I love my nan; she's immense
I also hate Louis Spence

I am laughing my head off with all of these lyrics. I wonder if Lucy herself will find this thread.

Another excellent one

quite easy this song writting shit, isnt it

The X Factor's turned into a train wreck,
But the bosses still want their hefty pay check,
Signs of viewers losing patience,
The naff scripting is outragous,

But the show must go on,
Cowell will bank a ton,
And we'll keep tuning in,

Wish I could stop,
Watching this train wreck
Lose the addiction to seeing folks dreams wrecked

But the show must go on,
Cowell will bank a ton,
And we'll keep tuning in,

Fifty Shades Of Grey (The Hard Times Of Louis Walsh)
To the tune of the classic Corrs song ‘What Can I Do To Make You Love Me?’

You’re not answering your phone
And you haven’t skyped with me in days
You’re hanging around with Britney Spears
And I am stuck with Union J

What can I do to make you love me?
What can I do to make you care?
I’m giving you everything dear Simon
But you haven’t even noticed my hair

You don’t call me back when I ring you
It seems like you don’t give a ****
I used to be your One Direction
But now I feel like Konnie Huq

What can I do to make you love me?
What can I do to make you care?
I want to be with you forever Simon
I want to be Sonny to your Cher

What can I do to make you love me?
What can I say to win you back?
I’ll call you a young Lenny Henry
The only problem is that you’re not….funny

Gilbert and Sullivan back in their time -
Noel Coward was also quite good.
Flanders and Swann could handle a rhyme -
Richard Stilgoe - Victoria Wood -
*Spoken - 'But lets face it...'*
(Chorus) - You know you're gaggin',
Gaggin' for some Spraggan.
Yes! You know you're gaggin',
Just a-gaggin' for some crazy Spraggan!
('One more time!') - You know you're gaggin'...

I sing about life's trivia,
And how hot's my partner Cynthia,
And although I'm really from Kent,
I do it in a northern accent.

you've inspired me, (Mines not as interesting as the shipping forecast...)

Clare the moment I met you I swear
it was like Mad Dogs and Englishmen
in a Commonwealth Fair.
All I wanted was a Quite Night Out
perhaps a Shagarama, not a drinking bout.

But lets face it...'*
You know you're gaggin',
Gaggin' for some Spraggan.
Yes! You know you're gaggin',
Just a-gaggin' for some crazy Spraggan! You know you're gaggin'...

I yoddle like a donkey
mew like a kitten
bore you like pro
I got one trick like a pony
wanna see me in a ponytail
maybe pass this crap as country

One day on the grass
Tulisa didn't ask
If she could undo my bras
I'm not used to that in these sorts of bars

Pmsl omg lol she needs you.

I've been playing the guitar for many years and Now have learned four chords ,
I can't sing so I talk instead that has its own rewards,
My little ditties are not that witty but to write them don't take much time,
How it sounds doesn't matter that much if you can get it all to rhyme,
Before you rate my work as trash,
Don't forget that I'm being compared to Kate Nash (whoever she is),
And I'm so sweet, I'm not a dragon,
Remember my name it's Lucy Spraggan

I'm trying to play this guitar that X factor bought me
It's a bit big to balance on me knee
I can write a song and it's full of woe
sounds like I've gone and stubbed me big toe
Will all this wailing keep me on TV
yep it will if you will all vote for me
There's not much chance of me getting your vote
I think I better go get me coat

My old one broke and I
Needed a new chair
So on Saturday I went
Shopping in [stops playing guitar]
Weston-super-Mare

But Ikea was closed and I
Began to feel stressed
Until I looked across the road
And saw a branch of [stops playing guitar]
DFS

I'm buying a chair
Buying a chair
Buying a chair
In Weston-super-Mare

A salesman came towards me and he
Started to blether
While I was pondering the merits
Of both real and [stops playing guitar]
Imitation leather

I said I'd like something designer
He pointed at one and said
That's a genuine Parker Knoll [stops playing guitar]
Recliner

I'm buying a chair
Buying a chair
Buying a chair
In Weston-super-Mare

Finally I alighted on an
Armchair I desired
One I'd like to fall asleep in
When I'm old and retired

And when I got home
It was nice to be seated [raps next two lines]
So I grabbed my iPhone 4GS
And to my followers tweeted

I bought a new chair
Bought a new chair
Bought a new chair
In Weston-super-Mare

But I wish I'd gone shopping
Oh yeah I wish I'd gone shopping
In Wapping [strums guitar manically]

You can hear more of my work on the forthcoming Ke$ha album.

Mr Squishy, that's uncanny!!

Genius thread!

The show is shit
im gonna have a hit
Chris can **** off
as he has a bad cough
im the winner
so lets go have some dinner