"It's called intelligent input dahling, why don't you just have another beer then"

My girlfriend came home friday with a brand new motor car.
She told me I could drive it, I said Helen you're a star.
We drove down to the boozer for a vodka and a fag
then of course we had celebrate the purchase with a shag.

We go dogging,
We go dogging,
We're a treat for any passers by out jogging.
We do it 'cos we've found
that when people crowd around
it is somehow more profound
when we're dogging.

We saw that a crowd had gathered it was cheering fit to burst.
An Hel was close to peaking though she likes me to come first.
My legs were out the sunroof as I really hit my stride.
Then Helen promptly stopped and cried "The Rozzers are outside!".

We were dogging,
We were dogging,
We were so alarmed our arteries were clogging.
But we took it on chin when the coppers with a grin said:
"Can anyone join in with your dogging?

Well as you can imagine Hel and I were thrilled to bits.
I love to feel a coppers truncheon in between my tits.
My ecstasy was mounting I was feeling so alive,
When who should wander by but a bloke from channel 5.

He likes dogging
HE likes dogging
He signed us for a series he was flogging.
So watch out for Hel and me and the odd Celebrity,
We were shagging on TV likely dogging.

This threads hilarious ....laughed out loud quite a few times!

I'm 'writing' a song about booze
If it were a competition I'd lose
I copy Kate Nash
I've gone for a slash
I talk instead of sing cos I'm crap
Brap brap brap brappity brap

Hi it's me....Chunky Lucky Lucee
Strumming my Guitar I'm so happee
I've got the flu...it's long overdue
Pissing it up with Rylan...Film Premieres too.


I got a Bye to the next round....how lucky can I be
Thats why they call me..Chunky Lucky Lucee.
Jade was ill, there's no doubt...
But the Bullshitting Judges chucked her out