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Old 23-12-2012, 09:33
bazaar1
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Op - do u know if he has laminate? It makes things 1000x worse.
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Old 23-12-2012, 09:36
chrisii2011
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Op - do u know if he has laminate? It makes things 1000x worse.
Not sure to be honest,never seen inside his place

But this other neighbour who is fed up also wont confront him because they think he is dodgy.
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Old 23-12-2012, 09:39
shmisk
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so hes is now
a) some one who doesnt care about his kids
b) a rubbish parent
c) dodgy

and all this based on some noise from his flat?
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Old 23-12-2012, 09:40
bazaar1
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All i want is for him to stop his kids banging footballs on the floor. Its not asking much. Im surprised i havent heard things smashing or windows breaking.
Telling someone they can/can't do some thing specific, is just asking for confrontation, I agree, asking for a little consideration isn't asking too much. Rather than saying 'stop them kids bouncing that bloody ball' try saying 'I'm sorry to be a moaner, but there seems to be a sudden increase in noise, is there anyway you'd be able to reduce it slightly?'

Just remembered we stayed with my mum in her London flat last year, we were there 2 days, and on the second day there was a shitty note put through saying her reported her to the building agents because of excessive noise! We'd been out all day, both days and half of his 'list of noise events' were completely fictious, as we had tickets etc to prove we were out. Mum was more annoyed at him for not giving her a chance to explain we were just visiting, or making her aware of any noise they were making. We had no balls, or toys, it was simply running up and down, the general patter of feet. Mum, and I, would of much rather had a discussion than a snotty note put through. The agents did nothing anyway, mum was never contacted about it. Next time we stayed she put a note through his door telling him how long. We were staying etc. no more complaints (we also tried to keep them still. But it just doesn't happen!)
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Old 23-12-2012, 09:41
koantemplation
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Sadly living in flats (or anywhere really) means compromising, and few get the 100% ideal living circumstances they want. Even in a detached I still keep the kids in until later in the morning, after ten on a Sunday, so they don't wake the neighbourhood up. It's courtesy, but like I said, it works both ways.
The compromise should be that his kids don't play with footballs inside.
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Old 23-12-2012, 09:42
bazaar1
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The compromise should be that his kids don't play with footballs inside.
Do you understand the word compromise?
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Old 23-12-2012, 09:42
koantemplation
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Telling someone they can/can't do some thing specific, is just asking for confrontation, I agree, asking for a little consideration isn't asking too much. Rather than saying 'stop them kids bouncing that bloody ball' try saying 'I'm sorry to be a moaner, but there seems to be a sudden increase in noise, is there anyway you'd be able to reduce it slightly?'
)
They are not moaning so do not need to appologise for complaining about the noise.

People making noise are the problem, not people who are affected by noise.
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Old 23-12-2012, 09:43
koantemplation
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Do you understand the word compromise?
Do you?

People making noise are the ones in the wrong.
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Old 23-12-2012, 09:48
bazaar1
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They are not moaning so do not need to appologise for complaining about the noise.

People making noise are the problem, not people who are affected by noise.
But he is moaning, maybe fairly so, but still moaning. And going in aggressively is never going to work, going in apologetic and nicely, will work. See my example above.

Do you?

People making noise are the ones in the wrong.
No. People make noise. Kids make noise. Living in a flat is a world of compromise. If the op is willing to accept that there will be some noise, then he can ask the father to reduce it. To expect silence, or the kids to sit in front of a tv all day to appease the op is ridiculous.

We all annoy someone, perhaps the ops neighbours dislike his tv on a certain volume, or the flush of his loo (there was a thread about hearing an old man weeing on here somewhere). It's just flat living.
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Old 23-12-2012, 09:51
koantemplation
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But he is moaning, maybe fairly so, but still moaning. And going in aggressively is never going to work, going in apologetic and nicely, will work. See my example above.



No. People make noise. Kids make noise. Living in a flat is a world of compromise. If the op is willing to accept that there will be some noise, then he can ask the father to reduce it. To expect silence, or the kids to sit in front of a tv all day to appease the op is ridiculous.

We all annoy someone, perhaps the ops neighbours dislike his tv on a certain volume, or the flush of his loo (there was a thread about hearing an old man weeing on here somewhere). It's just flat living.
He is complaining, not moaning.

Banging a ball in a flat is out of order, and there is no compromise about it.

The OP has a right to complain without being called a moaner, or having his issue diminished.

Silence should be the right, not noise.
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Old 23-12-2012, 09:52
chrisii2011
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But he is moaning, maybe fairly so, but still moaning. And going in aggressively is never going to work, going in apologetic and nicely, will work. See my example above.



No. People make noise. Kids make noise. Living in a flat is a world of compromise. If the op is willing to accept that there will be some noise, then he can ask the father to reduce it. To expect silence, or the kids to sit in front of a tv all day to appease the op is ridiculous.

We all annoy someone, perhaps the ops neighbours dislike his tv on a certain volume, or the flush of his loo (there was a thread about hearing an old man weeing on here somewhere). It's just flat living.
We are always considerate i.e. Tv is always on low volume,no slamming doors, we dont have snyone directly below but we still walk around quietly,no noise in the communal hallways. I was brought up to be considerate.
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Old 23-12-2012, 09:53
bazaar1
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He is complaining, not moaning.

Banging a ball in a flat is out of order, and there is no compromise about it.

The OP has a right to complain without being called a moaner, or having his issue diminished.

Silence should be the right, not noise.
I can't think of anything to say to this that I haven't already said so ill say
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Old 23-12-2012, 09:55
bazaar1
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We are always considerate i.e. Tv is always on low volume,no slamming doors, we dont have snyone directly below but we still walk around quietly,no noise in the communal hallways. I was brought up to be considerate.
Perhaps you are op, I was merely highlighting the fact that we all annoy so done, be that with the way we live, or our personailties, or 1001 other things. In flat living there is always going to be noise, and as I said, if you feel it's excessive you need to talk to him.
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Old 23-12-2012, 10:01
koantemplation
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Perhaps you are op, I was merely highlighting the fact that we all annoy so done, be that with the way we live, or our personailties, or 1001 other things. In flat living there is always going to be noise, and as I said, if you feel it's excessive you need to talk to him.
The OP has a right to protect their own safety.

If they feel that they can not talk to this person for fear of reprisals then they do not have to talk to them.

You have said nothing that is helpful as the OP has already said they can not talk to them.

And they have already shown that the noise is excessive so they can not compromise on it.
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Old 23-12-2012, 10:02
koantemplation
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We are always considerate i.e. Tv is always on low volume,no slamming doors, we dont have snyone directly below but we still walk around quietly,no noise in the communal hallways. I was brought up to be considerate.
The council sadly protect the rights of children to play, but you may be able to get something done about the ball bouncing as that should be considered excessive.

Keep a record and inform the council, expect a long battle though.
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Old 23-12-2012, 10:06
chrisii2011
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The OP has a right to protect their own safety.

If they feel that they can not talk to this person for fear of reprisals then they do not have to talk to them.

You have said nothing that is helpful as the OP has already said they can not talk to them.

And they have already shown that the noise is excessive so they can not compromise on it.
That is exactly the point ive been trying to make. I dont feel safe talking to him. If i did feel safe,of course i would.
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Old 23-12-2012, 10:07
chrisii2011
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The council sadly protect the rights of children to play, but you may be able to get something done about the ball bouncing as that should be considered excessive.

Keep a record and inform the council, expect a long battle though.
Thanks,i have sheets which i fill in everytime it happens
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Old 23-12-2012, 10:10
bazaar1
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The OP has a right to protect their own safety.

If they feel that they can not talk to this person for fear of reprisals then they do not have to talk to them.

You have said nothing that is helpful as the OP has already said they can not talk to them.

And they have already shown that the noise is excessive so they can not compromise on it.
Then that's the ops choice, there is nothing else that can be done. He's contacted the housing association, but I doubt they will do anything. Those are the choices. Put up with it, report it or talk to him. Going round in circles on a forum won't magic up another option.

I still doubt it's a ball constantly being bounced, sure perhaps it is some of the time, but as I said before I don't know a single child that constantly, for months on end, solely plays with a ball.

I suspect more likely it's that they are being noisy kids, up running and playing and the op is very sensitive to it as in his opinion it's excessive. However he stayed it doesn't go on till late, and doesn't happen all the time, but out side of school hours. I suspect he'd struggle to prove it 'excessive' in terms of the law.
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Old 23-12-2012, 10:13
alsmama
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The guy upstairs can of course do as he likes in his own home ... So long as its not having a big impact on the neighbours. No man is an island and all that. Bouncing a ball in a flat is just thoughtless.
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Old 23-12-2012, 10:40
Vodka_Drinka
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Some weeks it can be every day and some weeks only a few. Now they are screaming
So it's not all of the time then? Really there's little you can do unless your prepared to grow a pair and speak to the parents directly. They probably aren't aware how much noise the children are making, though I have to be honest I'm not sure why it bothers you so much? It's not keeping you awake at night is it? And I assume your out at work during the day so don't hear them then. Can't you put up with it for a few hours or so?

When you live in proximity to other people you have to accept there will always be some noise. I live in a terrace and when I stand in our hall way I can here my next door neighbours television in the evenings and they can hear us going up and down the stairs. I can hear them opening and closing the cupboards in their kitchen and they can hear us, but we'd never complain because it doesn't impact on our lives and because we choose to live in an old fashioned terrace with thin walls.
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Old 23-12-2012, 10:53
shmisk
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The council sadly protect the rights of children to play, but you may be able to get something done about the ball bouncing as that should be considered excessive.

Keep a record and inform the council, expect a long battle though.
its not sad that the rights of children to play are protected! Dont be like the grinch.
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Old 23-12-2012, 11:08
bazaar1
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just for the record (after re-readng this thread I thought I'd clarify) I think the op has a right to be upset by it, even the slightest things can annoy us in our homes, and by the sounds of it, its not slight. BUT I do try to take an objective view, I can see both sides, I truly believe its possible that the father doesn't know how much noise he is making, and if the op isn't willing to discuss it with him, then there is nothing much they can do about it. I suppose you could try a nice note, but tbh I think a conversation is in order. Whilst the OP says he fears for his safety, I cannot see the harm in a quick discussion with him, if needed take the other neighbour that has concerns.
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Old 23-12-2012, 11:17
makeba72
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When you live in proximity to other people you have to accept there will always be some noise. I live in a terrace and when I stand in our hall way I can here my next door neighbours television in the evenings and they can hear us going up and down the stairs. I can hear them opening and closing the cupboards in their kitchen and they can hear us, but we'd never complain because it doesn't impact on our lives and because we choose to live in an old fashioned terrace with thin walls.
I think it's impossible to explain how it feels when that level of noise does impact on your life, though. I have become hyper-sensitive to my neighbour's elephantine plodding and the bass hum of their TV, which is turned up that bit too loud. And once I 'noticed' it, I couldn't 'unnotice' it. It's genuinely been a source of great stress since, waiting for him to come home, waiting for it to start, and so on. It's hard to explain, but it's somehow different to the traffic noise outside and my brain cannot cope with it.

I think the modern world is stressful enough as it is, without the addtion of preventable noise.
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Old 23-12-2012, 11:23
gorillathebino
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OP, if you aren't happy with the noise report it to the Environmental Health Noise Team, keep a diary of the noisy times and try to record the noise.

Personally though I think this is one where you need to speak to your neighbour about it. If you feel that won't work then start looking at moving home if it bothers you that much.

I have 3 kids and I will tell you now OP there is no way on earth you can keep them quiet, there is no such thing as quiet with kids. Yes balls inside are not allowed in my home but there is still noise.
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Old 23-12-2012, 11:29
bazaar1
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I think it's impossible to explain how it feels when that level of noise does impact on your life, though. I have become hyper-sensitive to my neighbour's elephantine plodding and the bass hum of their TV, which is turned up that bit too loud. And once I 'noticed' it, I couldn't 'unnotice' it. It's genuinely been a source of great stress since, waiting for him to come home, waiting for it to start, and so on. It's hard to explain, but it's somehow different to the traffic noise outside and my brain cannot cope with it.

I think the modern world is stressful enough as it is, without the addtion of preventable noise.
^^^ BIB - that puts it much better that I could - thats what I mean about being over-sensitive to it.

There is actually a scientific explanation for it - when stressed adreneline flows and hightens the senses, hearing in particular (well that zebra needs to hear where that pesky lion is). When something stresses US, the same thing happens, and when its a noise, we tune into it, then it annoys us more because our hearing is more sensitive and so we become more stressed and it goes round and round. Thats why a visitor may not be as annoyed by it as the OP.

Its the same as someone clicking their pen, to them its not annoying to the person next to them its reason enough to murder them
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