I'll do what I like with what I own, my little puppy dog.

But I'm not performing a sex show for the bitter unsexy people who insist on inhabiting this thread.

You know who you are. Your tenancy is up.

Now...my shiny Halo...You've been most disrespectful tonight. Not impressed. You only post here because of me, got it? You want what only I can give you, and you must earn it.

We'll take this behind closed doors. You have a lot of making up to do...

*awaits instructions*



I shall only post in this thread when the Queen 'birdy' bee allows me to from now on.

I may pop in and say 'hi' from time to time, but, but is that ok?

That will suffice. For now.

Just be careful when conversing with the horribly unsexy creatures that breed in here. Remember to keep your distance. They carry diseases.

I'm looking into an efficient and reputable pest control company to deal with the blighters.

I'll need to give you a thorough scrub down before I take you back into my bed...

I've been taken advantage of by these 'creatures' you refer to, haven't i?

I need to conduct myself in a more respectful manner towards you, the queen birdy of this thread, don't i?

See ^ i'm learning, i'm starting to accept my place in this thread, you are number 1, i am NOT

I'm totally getting it^

*looks longingly at Queen Birdy*

I shall now scuffle of to bed with my tail between my legs, reflecting on my inexcusable behavior tonight

Oh how can i ever repay you, your highness? I shall dedicate my time in making you realise your greatness

Nighty night X

Well, not entertaining, and about as sexy as some old harridan of a schoolmarm trying to be a dominatrix over a spotty teenboy

Just keep your pathetic fumblings to the PM box in future if you're not going to be humorous!

Now clear off to wherever you came from and leave the thread to its gloriously sexy and undisputed owner......................me!

I couldn't have put it better myself twass, ta muchly auld bean !

Oh please, bacon sandwiches are FAR sexier than you are!!

You have forgotten to take your meds again Twass.

Reminder for you.

Thank you

Disobeying mistresses orders I see, and fraternising with the riff raff

I think you are just after being handcuffed to the bed and whipped later

H'd rather hav a 12 pack, trust me !

now sling yer hook pearly !

I suspected something of that ilk. Poor old Birdy!

You sling yours, mine is the sexy hook, yours is rusty

Aye she wasn't to trilled last night was she!

now beat itaway & join Martin @ canoe lake !

Is this where you meant? Very nice, and the 'pretend' swans look so real !

In the sea-bird stakes they are almost as sexy as me in the human stakes !

*saunters seductively in, leans over giving full cleavage overflow, allowing delicate floral scent with musky overtones to fill the thread*

Floury bap, anyone?

Yeah, spent many a happy day there, playing padder tennis years ago.

my mate stayed a 10 minute walk from it

*ahem*

Just been watching a very good film which the director says was inspired by me - "Sexy Beast"

He got the speedos right but cast that fat git Winstone instead of Brad Pitt (who would have been a closer match to me)

You what!

Smokey! Don't diss the Ray, or the geezers will come rahnd and break your ahnds. Geddit?

Ray is the GodFather! And even with the beergut, he's SEXEH!!!

He may very well be - in your eyes

But does he have firm pert butt cheeks?

I think not

He doesn't need firm, pert butt cheeks, he's RAY!!!!!!!!!

You don't have them either, but being smokey, that makes you an also ran

"wheres ya tool" Smokey?