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The Grumpy Old Women Thread... (Part 18)


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Old 20-11-2012, 06:40
jra
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Good Lord! There are some strange people
Thankfully I've lost the direct link. I think my eyes popped out when I read that, i.e. do people like that really exist.
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Old 20-11-2012, 06:43
handymelon
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Teenage girls are much, much worse!
Bracing myself right alongside you!
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Old 20-11-2012, 09:10
batgirl
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Goodness, I didn't realise this until now, but my sex life is really quite dull.

And staying with the subject - my mum apparently has a boyfriend! I'm not sure I'll be gaining a new stepfather any time soon as while he's very keen on her she's just enjoying the attention and doesn't fancy him much, but it's been ages since she's sounded this happy.

I was dreading the care home move - Sad knows I was a bag of nerves - but ma's genuinely thriving. She doesn't know where she is but thinks it's fabulous (it is pretty fab actually) and can't stop telling me about it. When I called the other day they were having a talk on life saving tips and what to do if you see a car accident. I could hear the chap in the background and he was really interesting! She's in the gym every day (working off the 5 meals a day ), joining in with the music and art sessions, going for walks in the garden with her friends (who are all her age, she tells me... )... I expect it feels like she's on holiday. I might even stop feeling guilty if things carry on like this.
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Old 20-11-2012, 09:34
jra
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Goodness, I didn't realise this until now, but my sex life is really quite dull.
Maybe it is dull to an outsider, but for me it's enjoying the company, rather than a competition or sport to get in as many as possible (sometimes literally).

That's just me however.

Some of the things I've seen in real life and what people get up to on the internet sex wise are just to me. Still, each to their own.

Maybe I'm like Boy George on this matter and prefer a cup of tea (or in my case coffee).
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Old 20-11-2012, 10:09
batgirl
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Throw in a digestive and you might be onto something.
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Old 20-11-2012, 10:59
jra
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Throw in a digestive and you might be onto something.
I could, but you'll lose it at the bottom of the cup.
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Old 20-11-2012, 11:00
ImaPlum
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Would that be a chocolate digestive?
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Old 20-11-2012, 11:08
jra
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Would that be a chocolate digestive?
Whatever takes your fancy. I'm not a biscuit connoisseur.

Would that be dark or milk chocolate?

Either way, you'll need a fishing rod to haul it out of the bottom of the cup.
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Old 20-11-2012, 11:13
ImaPlum
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Whatever takes your fancy. I'm not a biscuit connoisseur.

Would that be dark or milk chocolate?

Either way, you'll need a fishing rod to haul it out of the bottom of the cup.
Either would be fine but out of my price range as they charge exhorbitant prices for McVitie's digestives here, but nothing here quite compares. Rich tea biscuits, quite fancy one of those now, don't get them here either. I think I'm in a wanting what I can't have mood I might go look up biscuits on the internet, biscuit porn
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Old 20-11-2012, 11:25
jra
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Biscuit porn. LMAO.
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Old 20-11-2012, 17:09
batgirl
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Nothing worse than a soggy biscuit.
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Old 20-11-2012, 18:11
KJ44
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@plum - I should not have Googled ...
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Old 20-11-2012, 19:47
handymelon
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There's an art to digestive dunking, jra.
Dip as much of the edge as you can, then nibble it off so the biccy fits into the cup.
Rotate, re-dunk, and stuff the rest of it down in one gobful. Plain chocolate ones work best!

As for the sex... I suppose one could use a similar technique...

Batty, so glad your Mum is doing so well. Of course it was a tough call to make, but you knew it was the right one all along really. Well done to you for seeing it through
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Old 20-11-2012, 20:00
jra
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There's an art to digestive dunking, jra.
Dip as much of the edge as you can, then nibble it off so the biccy fits into the cup.
Rotate, re-dunk, and stuff the rest of it down in one gobful. Plain chocolate ones work best!

As for the sex... I suppose one could use a similar technique...
So in conclusion, sex is like dunking a biscuit.

Who knew.
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Old 20-11-2012, 21:22
ImaPlum
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So in conclusion, sex is like dunking a biscuit.

Who knew.
Regardless of what handy said, dunking biscuits will generally leave a small residue....

Using jra's conclusion that sex is like dunking a biscuit, one can only therefore expand that conclusion to state therefore that sex can lead to crumbs in the bottom?

Very educational this is and a strange start to my day
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Old 20-11-2012, 21:24
ImaPlum
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@plum - I should not have Googled ...
I'm not going to!
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Old 20-11-2012, 21:46
handymelon
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Soggy biscuit is a (largely mythical) game involving young teenage males, a biscuit, and sperms.
I suspect very few have actually played it, though I've impressed a few over the years by being aware of its existence.

Re residue on the bottom... one can always scrape it off with a teaspoon.

(I'm stopping now before I get carried away!)
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Old 20-11-2012, 22:15
jra
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Soggy biscuit is a (largely mythical) game involving young teenage males, a biscuit, and sperms.
Last one to cum has to eat the biscuit. Luckily, I'm not speaking from experience.

I'm not putting my swimmers on a biscuit, most of whom are disabled anyway, as I smoke.
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Old 20-11-2012, 22:33
batgirl
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I blame boarding schools...

... for everything really. But especially soggy biscuits and smoking.

I think we need to change the subject!
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Old 20-11-2012, 22:36
snowy ghost
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yo sex mad grumpies
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Old 20-11-2012, 22:43
jra
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I blame boarding schools...

... for everything really. But especially soggy biscuits and smoking.

I think we need to change the subject!
I didn't go to boarding school, but changing the subject would be a good idea.

So, what's the weather like?
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Old 20-11-2012, 22:57
batgirl
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Hi snOwy!

Nice attempt jra, but the weather's doing nuffink around here. What else can we talk about... ?
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Old 20-11-2012, 23:10
ImaPlum
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Well thanks to the conversation I am now off biscuits for the foreseeable future. My budget and my waistline will be appreciative.

Weather here is bleuuuarrrghh - it's lovely blue skies and sunshine but humid as anything. We need a storm, but just a little one to clear the air. Luckily, I'm off to air-conditioning at work soon and might sit in the chiller for a while and pretend I'm in England
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Old 21-11-2012, 02:41
jra
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Hi snOwy!

Nice attempt jra, but the weather's doing nuffink around here. What else can we talk about... ?
Sorry. I couldn't think of anything better and I'm sure one of us will suggest something better to talk about.
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Old 21-11-2012, 02:51
Fairness
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Biscuit porn. LMAO.
The mind boggles. Anything like lego porn?
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