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Do your marks out of ten here, folks! |
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#1 |
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Join Date: Jun 2006
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Do your marks out of ten here, folks!
Theo Walcott: As well as getting injured yesterday, he did a thing in the press that he's been wearing a purity ring, and now Nicole (a complete hottie) is there grilling him about not ever having a girlfriend. And she wants him to FIND his balls? I think they might have just retracted irreversibly up inside, and are now weeping to themselves somewhere around the colon. Why've they dressed him like Englebert Humperdinck? I stand by my android comment from last week. If you peeled his head there'd be electronics inside. This is largely boring, with a pick up towards the end. All right I spose, like a nice lunch with your nan. 7/10
Will Mellor the Misery Lobster: Wow, I love the realistic bar going on in the background! The whole thing is absolutely gripping! I love the random huge picture of some girl on the wall! I love how it went red at the rocky bit! And I especially love how the whole thing sounds and looks as though it's ACTUALLY taking place at a Parkdean holiday camp. LOL JOKE I hate this whole thing; I find the nerves act unsettling; I like that song but that was the musical equivalent of stepping on a slug. 4/10 Onion J: Louis Walsh: "I want you do to three things. Firstly, kneel down. Secondly, open your mouth.... Ooh, trees. And Leona! I can barely type through the DRAMA. Cor, those are some eyebrows you've got, son! I like how they've listened to Mum and have all come with their winter coats and boots on. George is actually in his Halloween costume a few weeks early: he's come dressed as Harry Styles. Why are they all doing mash-ups? Is it because it has to change song before it gets to a high bit? Nah, jokes. They're better than last week. Much better. But last week they did sound like a deflating lilo, so that wasn't hard. 7/10 with a mark for the Dr Who scarf on the end. Adele from 2001: Ella really does have a remarkable mouth. Oooh, Tulisa's new video shoot: wow, she's dressed as Michael Jackson in drag, nice one. I like how Ella's dress has been made of bits of chocolate orange. If she eats a few, she could speed up the transition into Adele-bot even quicker! She really does have the best voice in this competition, even though she fluffed a few times and even though this song sounds like half the words got forgot. Down your drink if someone asks her where her balls have gone. 8/10 Priceslice Pro Green: HAHAHA, Nicole looking like she's having the time of her life in James's fake local. I LOVE THIS SONG, it better not get ruined. I like Jarthur so I have high hopes. I would LOOOL if that was like, Nicole's cleaner from LA on the phone then. "Yes of course that was Mary J, babycakes!" Ooh, without his guitar he sort of swings his arms like Frankenstein's creature. And kudos to whoever said he looked like Ben Mitchell. He bloody does as well. Clearly they're saving all the production bucks for whatever Rylan's going to roll out...ninety thousand Korean dancers, anyone? But this is meant to be about Jarthur. I like how he has accompanied his song with an epileptic fit, but I feel that goes somewhat against the song's theme of "no more drama". An epileptic fit on the X Factor stage would be a great DEAL of drama. TBH I loved it. 9/10 Costcutter Kate: Aww. I'm not making no jokes about this one: it's genuinely sad. But the moment is ruined somewhat by the appearance of Drag Michael Jackson doling out the sympathy. Lucy's come dressed as Robbie Hance! Bless her. And she's not screwing this up either...but I reckon the fast bits of You Can't Touch This are harder. Trust me, I've been trying to get the top score on Lips for the Xbox for a year. OK, so she speak-sings. I'd rather that than Onion J's rocks-in-a-washing-machine effort from last week. Don't hate, appreciate. 8/10 GMTV/911-version-2012/1D/NKOTB: I prefer these chaps to Onions, because they're sort of ugly in comparison and I like an underdog. Louis Walsh's grab-a-toy style claw control over them worries me. This is literally 1994 in a song. AAAAAAAHAHAHAHA I just burst out then at how they were just standing there like Bargain Bin Ken dolls - Chino w*nker Ken - grinning at each other like they'd wandered in off the street. THIS IS SUCH A SHAME, I liked them until Louis got his wicked way with them. They're dead behind the eyes now. 5/10 with two points going to the costume dept having a joke at the one on the end in telling him it's OK to wear a chavvy flat cap with a blazer. Gabrhianna: Nothing to say about the VT: bored me. Jade's dressed in the leftovers from Tulisa's bog-roll-bedsheet combo with the hair of an extra from the House of Elliott. It's actually becoming a fun game to work out who Jade will channel each week out of Gabrielle and Rhianna. Today it's a natty mixture of both: not enough tit for Rhi-Rhi; not enough eyepatch for Gabrielle. Shame: I'd have quite liked the addition of an eyepatch. Pirate chic! The reason I'm jibbing on is cos I can't take the mick out of the vocal: had you noticed? Pretty jaaaam hot. 9/10 N-Dubzn't: Once upon a time, there was a sh*t clothes shop chain called MK1. Last week, I'd rather a dodgy pair of jeans had done a song on stage than MK; they were decidedly poo. Louis Walsh in a snapback looks like Homebase has undergone some god-awful attempt to bring garden gnomes more "up to date". And this song is amazing, don't fluff it please. I'm unsure what to make of this. It's like when you have a couple of cousins who do a little turn at Christmas and everyone loves it cos they've had too much cheese and port. But you can't knock the energy, and that dude is very "authentic". Much as I love Charlie - she's a sparky young thing - her voice isn't cutting it She's much better when she raps. A sorry 6/10 as I wanted to like them more. One mark for the work experience costume kid who had to colour in Charlie's legs. Dick Van Eyeliner: DID YOU KNOW HE'S A CHIMNEY SWEEP? BECAUSE HE IS A CHIMNEY SWEEP. Apparently he's Fearne Cotton's best friend since they were 11. Some mate you've been, Fearne: surely you could have got him on some BBC3 show before now as a quick favour? And why the hell is a grown man wearing one of those bloody snapbacks. Dodgy start. He looks as though he's put on too many tops. God, this is pretty awful from Kye. My cat has woken up and is wailing in misery by the front door. I know how you feel, Milo: I didn't think it could get any worse either, but then Dido gets rolled out. This sounds like a crying child stamping on a whoopie cushion. "That reminds me, that it's not so bad..." Ah, the irony. 4/10 with a point from 1999's dry ice. Carry On Ryling: I really hope someone's of the age on here to remember the Animals of Farthing Wood. Shut your eyes and listen to Rylan: it's Measly! Rylan managed to out-camp-walk Friedman then. If 10 fashionista pandas come out...Christ, I don't even know what to say to that. A very understated "Rylan Clark" from voiceover guy then. HAHAHAHA actually a million points to Rylan for that opener!! And I like how they've styled him like an actual extra from Zoolander. This is basically the Mugatu sequence. In a minute I'm going to wake up and want to assassinate the Prime Minister of Malaysia. His vocal is better than Kye's and it's making me laugh. I'm scared of the Panda People. They're like Dr Who monsters. This is nearly as good as the Jedward Ghostbusters week ("John, Save Me!")....and yes, that's where all the monies went this week. Balloons, FGS?! HAHAHA. Loved it. 9/10 Janet's Mum: Friedman needs to do one. "Gorgeois"? Bellendois. Gary dressed in one of the Onions' t-shirts during that VT. Mummy Devlin chanelling Streisand in the looks dept today. Why do they always dress her like a hippy?! Nice ballet-forwardslash-porn going on in the background. Holy hell, one just stripped the other! It's actually distracting. And Mel's make up artist should be sacked; she looks like what a 7 year old would do to herself let loose on Mum's make up bag. Less shouty than last week, but more boring. I like her though, I spose. 7/10 And that's me done for t'night. |
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#2 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: London
Posts: 11,405
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Am I missing something were any of these people on the show? Your wit is so sharp it passed me by ....no really....
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#3 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 3,234
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Quote:
Am I missing something were any of these people on the show? Your wit is so sharp it passed me by ....no really....
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#4 |
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Guest
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 11,151
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Jahmene: 6/10 - I love both of those songs and he sang them reasonably well.
Christopher: 0/10 - If he doesn't go out THEN I SWEAR DOWN. Union J: 6/10 - They tried their best, I guess. The mashup worked well. Ella: 8/10 - Those high notes were fantastic. James: 4/10 - I found this to be shouty and vile. Lucy: 5/10 - She tried, & I loved the fact she was singing about a girl - no changing it. District 3: 1/10 - Absolutely horrendous, I'm glad I can't remember what they sang. Jade: 7/10 - Good vocal, hella forgettable. MK1: 3/10 - I can't remember any of it. Kye: 1/10 - Just horrendous and then his arrogant attiude afterwards. NO thank you. Rylan: 2/10 - Better than Kye. MELANIE: 10/10 - Her vocals are absolutely outstanding. |
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#5 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 422
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Jahmene - 7
Nice lad. Cracking voice. Boring. Christopher - 2 The shaking made me feel seasick. a very realistic cruise experience. Union J - 0 Everything that is wrong with everything. Ella - 7 Nice girl. Horrible song, but got the squeal right. James - 1 Was going to get a 2 until he fell to his knees in mock feeling. Lucy - 4 Loses a point for the sob story. Not her game, this. District 3 - 2 One point each for a good song and not being Union J. Jade - 5 Boring. MK1 - 6 The girl sang better than usual. Kye - 5 Boring (the performances as well as the chimneysweep sob story). Rylan - 4 Nowhere near as funny as Wagner. Melanie - 7 Cracking pair of lungs. |
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#6 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 1,275
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Jahmene: 7/10
Christopher: 0/10 Union J: 5/10 Ella: 10/10 James: 8/10 Lucy: 6/10 District 3: 2/10 Jade: 9/10 MK1: 7/10 Kye: 7/10 Rylan: 0/10 Melanie: 9/10 |
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#7 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 519
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Jahmene: 7/10, He was good, but I found it bland. And I want Jahmene to win!
Christopher: 6/10, Good attempt. I would have liked to see Melanie do Alone. Union J: 9/10, What an improvement since last week! Great performance. One of my favourites tonight. Ella: 8/10, Great performance, but I think she is so overrated. James: 9/10, Brilliant. One of my favourites. Lucy: 7/10, Good performance. Not usually a fan but I liked it! District 3: 8/10, Great performance! Jade: 8/10, Liked it a lot. MK1 6/10, Meh, wasn’t too impressed. I don’t think the girl has a great voice. She seemed really off at times. Kye 5/10, Thank goodness for the second song he did. Him doing Rihanna was just awful. Better on the second song. Rylan 2/10, LOVED it for entertainment but poor singing. Should have stuck with Back for Good. Would have suited him and actually sounded alright. But I LOVED everything else about his performance, the start, the production, the outfits! Melanie 9/10, Amazing as usual. Favourites: James, Union J Least Favourites: Kye, MK1 |
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#8 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 5,239
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Jahmene: 7.5/10
Christopher: 3/10 Union J: 8/10 Ella: 9.5/10 James: 9/10 Lucy: 8/10 District3: 2/10 Jade: 4/10 MK1: 6/10 Kye: 5/10 Rylan: 7/10 Melanie: 7.5/10 |
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#9 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 332
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Jahmene: 6/10
Christopher: 7/10 Union J: 7/10 Ella: 8/10 James: 8/10 Lucy: 4/10 District 3: 5/10 Jade: 8/10 MK1: 3/10 Kye: 7/10 Rylan: 7/10 Melanie: 1/10 |
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#10 |
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Guest
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 11,151
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Quote:
Jahmene: 6/10
Christopher: 7/10 Union J: 7/10 Ella: 8/10 James: 8/10 Lucy: 4/10 District 3: 5/10 Jade: 8/10 MK1: 3/10 Kye: 7/10 Rylan: 7/10 Melanie: 1/10
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#11 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Black Country lad in Yorkshire
Posts: 118,112
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Jahmene...........6.........He has no low range
Christopher.......7.........Sound performance. Great voice Union J..............6.........Far better than last week Ella....................9.........Even better than Chris James................4.........I needed sub-titles Lucy..................3.........Just not for me. Failed to conform to theme District 3.............6........They all sing very nicely Jade...................6.........I just don't like the sound of her voice MK1....................3........He can't sing and she's not much better Kye.....................5........Boring and what's with the black eyes? Rylan..................2........Failed to conform to the theme..crap Melanie...............7........Good singer |
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#12 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 1,420
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James 10/10
Jade 10/10 Lucy 8/10 Jahmene 8/10 Ella 7/10 District3 5/10 Rylan 4/10 Union J 3/10 MK1 3/10 Melanie 2/10 Kye 1/10 Christopher 0/10 |
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#13 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 31
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James: 7/10
Jade: 9/10 Lucy: 6.5/10 Jahmene: 9/10 Ella: 10/10 District 3: 4/10 Rylan: 5/10 Union J: 5.8/10 MK1: 6.5/10 Melanie: 7/10 Kye: 3/10 Christopher: 0/10 |
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#14 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 22,078
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Jahmene: Slow start and sounded a little off the pace of the music. Picked up towards the middle and he really seemed to enjoy it from then on. Couldn't tell the nerves at all. Strange song for him though. 7/10
Christopher: Awful beginning. Sounds very nasal. Now it's getting cheesy. No surprise there. Christopher does have a power house of a voice when he lets go. Unfortunately he's still cheesy. 5/10 Union J: Oh lord. Horrible typical boy band start. Individually not bad singing. Oooh Better then last week for sure. Not very original though and slightly gritty in a bad way. Ended pretty good though. 6 /10 Ella: Love this song. Sung beautifully so far. Shame she looks 20 years older in that get up and make-up. Wow that high note. OK now a little shouty, ruins the mood of the song a bit. Over cooking now. What a shame. She started so well. And that last high note was a little off. 7/10 James: This song suits him a lot more then last week. Liking it so far. Got my me bopping to it and he's really going for it now. Best so far tonight by a mile. Really felt like he sang it from the heart 9/10 Lucy: "Don't want people to feel sorry for me" yet it's shown on the tv. Sob stories uggg. Not an original song wow. Still managed to find a song she could turn into a talky. But not bad. 7/10 (would be 8 if she didn't talk through most of it) District3: .... I want to puke at this song choice. Doesn't sound any different to the original either. Oh wait it's not as good as the original. Mostly in tune though. Skip 6/10 Jade: Smoky sultry voice really suiting this song. Feels like I'm in a dark night club from the 50's. And it's not over cooked, makes the song stand on it's own. Beautiful ending. 10/10 Perfect. I am stunned by it. MK1: Errrr. Can't say it's terrible but certainly weird. It's very much, I like it but I have no idea why. 5/10 Kye: Nice falsetto. Transition back to normal was a bit weak though. Don't get a personality from him though. The song... wait changed to another song's lyrics. Very hit and miss. The song just doesn't say anything about Kye at all. The ending has more personality in that one note then the rest of the song in it's entirety. 6/10 Rylan: Here we go. Can't wait to hear this one. OMG LMAO Rylan is certainly fun. Opa Gangnam style. Ok this song swapping is starting to irritate. For the pure enjoyment of it and the OK vocals. And of course for using Gangnam style I give him 7/10. Melanie: Please be good. I love you. oh my what have they done to her?!?!?!?!?!?! Lost all I loved about her. Slow bad song choice. Not suiting her at all. Gary Barlow what did you do?!!! I do love the bits that are Melanie though. 6/10 I'm so disappointed. After that my final opinion is: Jade Ellis was by far the best of the night. lso good were James, Jahmene, Ella, Lucy. Middle of the road Rylan, Melanie, Kye, Union J Get them out now are Christopher, MK1, District3 |
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#15 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 1,157
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Jahmene:9
FINALLY no vocal runs, or at least no painfully obvious long one's that ruined his last performance. Natural, brilliant. Christopher:0 Not good enough. Serioulsy this is the wild card?! His dated sound illustrated why he shouldn't even be on the live show. Hope he goes!! Union J:7 Good song choice, better vocals than last week. Although they'll need to work on their group harmonies to rival the successful xfactor groups gone by. Looking at a mid-show exit if they can't vocally come together. Ella:8 Solid performance. My scoring basically came down to personal taste, I found the song choice dull and uninspiring. James:1 The score of one is down to liking the song choice, and my dislike of Christopher. Frankly, James could stand on stage silent and I would still rate him higher than Christopher! However worst performance James has ever given, none of his trademark tone was evident during his singing, in fact was he even singing this number at all? It sounded like shouting. Awful! I still think he'll win, coming back stronger next week. Lucy:7 Upbeat, the girl didn't sound half bad. And sooo pleased it wasn't a LS original! District 3:6 On point vocally. Lose points for being too predictable and safe with the song choice. Wish they had been braver, a little dull. Jade:3 Meh. MK1:5 Safe, okay. Would I be sad to see them go tomorrow? Yeah only because that would mean Christopher having another week! Kye:2 A mash-up? Yet he sounded the same to me as last week. Agree with Louis, he bored me. Rylan:0 The "joke" acts performance used to be something you looked forward too... Hate his stance on being taken seriously too! Pffft. Melanie:9 Love.her! |
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#16 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,030
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Jahmene: - not jah bad ruler fringe 6/10
Christopher: Shakin Stevens to the life - awful: 2/10 Union J: who? 2/10 Ella: good job with a hard song but why dress up as adele? 7/10 James: missed him, was turning scampi. 4/10 Lucy: Gold digger? No digger 3/10 District 3: Sold down the river 2/10 Jade: Murder: 4/10 MK1: I don't want you back - ever. 3/10 Kye: Do my eyes look lined in this? 1/10 Rylan: George Michael's backing dancer: 4/10 Melanie: A pub in Dunoon missing its turn: 1/10 |
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#17 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 3,406
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Jahmene: 7/10 - not bad - not amazing.
Christopher: 1/10 - not even cruise ship quality. Union J: 7/10 - getting better Ella: 8/10 - Shes good but seen it before James: 3/10 - Snoresville. Lucy: 1/10 - Just dreadful District 3: 4/10 - terrible song choice - can & will do better. Jade: 7/10 - Liked this from her. MK1: 1/10 - painful on the ears - especially the guy. Kye: 3/10 - Very very bland. In a pub he would get ignored. Rylan: 6/10 - Entertaining . MELANIE: 4/10 - Will fill cabaret shows |
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#18 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 7,744
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Jahmene - Better than last week, very good, nice to see him handle uptempo and he did so very well 8/10
Christopher - Alright, kinda shaky at the start, noticeable nerves, powerful voice though, no disputing it. Still bitter Times Red didn't get the Wild Card 5/10 Same Direction- Meh, better than last week, not that that's saying much. Bonus points for having to tackle a Leona song 5/10 Ella - Good performance but she's fast becoming an 'Ella as Adele' act. 7/10 James - Definitely liked it, different, current, don't get the hate 8/10 Lucy - Quite liked it, not usually a big fan but she was pretty good 6/1 One Dimension - Was great...if I was watching an 1998 American boy band special. Unfortunately I wasn't 3/10 Jade - Retro, different, nice vibe to it - 8/10 Shop/Milton Keynes postcode - Quite interesting take on the song, felt it could have been so much more but eh 6/10 Kye - Was waiting for the big chorus to come in and it didn't. Wasn't keen on the Love The Way You Lie, didn't mind the second song...which was...I've forgotten...which probably says something 6/10 Rylan - I hate Gangnam style but I'm going to give him an 8/10 because Gary Barlows' face when he was singing Back For Good was hysterical and it made my night Melanie - Actually really liked it, been a bit indifferent towards her but I did really like it, beautiful song. 8/10 Best: Jahmene, Melanie, James and Jade. |
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