Christopher - Never Gonna Give You Up (Rick Astley) - if we're judging on his previous performances this would fit right in. It's 80s and he'd be Rick-Rolling or pranking us all on a Saturday night... pretty much how he does anyway with the fake-shakes!
Jahmene - You're Beautiful (James Blunt) - it's sappy, it's wet, it's irritating. It totally deserves to be murdered some more with some over-singing.
Lucy - Mysterious Girl (Peter Andre) / I Wanna Sex U Up (Color Me Badd) - The song should mostly consist of her own writing but the chorus will focus on the mash-up. Performance to be accompanied by a group of semi-naked women gyrating around her as she strums the guitar wearing a beanie hat.
District3 - Unchained Melody (Gareth Gates/Robson & Jerome/any other randomer Simon Cowell wanted to sing this crap) / I Want It That Way (Backstreet Boys) - It's boybandy and allows for air-grabs and strained faces. Plus, Louis loves mash-ups.
Kye - Give any old Coldplay song that made it Number 1. Nobody will give a hoot anyway!
Union J - What Makes You Beautiful (One Direction) - Accompanied by VT where all 4 members say they don't want to be compared to One Direction. They then come out and perform the song... exactly like One Direction!
Ella - Someone Like You (Adele) - She's ''our Adele of the competition''. This won't spark criticism of being a copycat AT ALL!!
James - Swagger Jagger (Cher Lloyd) - Hey, wouldn't be totally funny if we got James, the insanely passionate and intense performer (he tugs at his clothes, that shows passion!) to sing Cher Lloyd's universally panned Number 1 hit Swagger Jagger? No? Ok, we'll just praise him for polishing a turd.
Rylan - Dirrty (Christina Aguilera) / Saturday Night (Whigfield) / Barbie Girl (Aqua) - Producers would LOVE this. They'd even make him wear assless chaps and sh*tloads of eyeliner like the Xtina music video! Ofcom complaints = bumper ratings! Also throw in 27,000 mash-ups as it's Rylan's ''thing''.