*steps unexpectedly from the shadows and downs the drink left out for Dr Young in a single swift movement*

It'll make you look like Adam Adamant and sound like a drunken Scots penguin. Take my advice, lad, and go for something more traditional.

*bangs on the counter with unnecessary vehemence*

Ho, Landlord! A foaming tankard of Skaroade for myself, and perhaps this young fellow here would like a Tumpy. I may be joined later by my little furry friend, who would enjoy a Double-Entendre if you could manage to give her one in a suitable receptacle on the floor.

*looks around with a critical eye*

So this is the famous "drool wall". I was expecting more pictures of Shona (and/or Tanya Lernov).

When is the next Quiz Night?

Quiz nights may be arranged at the discretion of the landlords and for the convenience of passers by. Nice of you to drop in Vopiscus

CD! And blimey Webby too! What a night!

*Adds Capaldi Corkscrew to the menu*
*dusts the bar*

*Barges in*

Did someone call the Dalekbusters?

Who ya gonna call?!

Someone else?

**inspects Capaldi Corkscrew**

I'll take that chance.

**quaffs drink**

**weirdness ensues**

I'll have a go at one of those Capaldi Corkscrew things.

What's the worse that can happen?

**glugs down fiery beverage**

Och aye, see you, Jimmy! There's a moose loose aboot the hoose! Wee sleekit cow'rin tim'rous beastie! Oh what a panic's in thy breastie!

We've been searching for that moose for a while now. It's been reported as a Dalek agent.

I'll have it if you find it. It's time I had a new pet. I'll call it Adric if it's a boy, Mel if it's a girl.

You'll all be glad to know the Scottishness arising from the Capaldi Corkscrew was only temporary. Just don't make a Tucker tequila or Goodness knows what will happen.

Sorry, can't do that. We have a strict Dalek containment policy which covers standard Daleks, Dalek agents, Davros and human-Dalek hybrids.

But I'm sure with my love and care, plenty of whisky macs and Capaldi Corkscrews, I could de-radicalise the moose, show it the error of it's ways, and reclaim it from Dalek slavery.

After all, I tamed my Quark (Dodo). She was fine until davrosdodebird let her run wild with the bots in here.

We can't take the risk, sorry. Last time we let a Dalek agent out of containment, it exterminated Dalekbuster522.

Are you a clone?

Read and understood....



*sneaks away and furiously scribbles downs ingredients*

Ha ha!

No, we all go by numbers. Unlike the Ghostbusters in the Ghostbusters films, we operate under secret identities. That way, the Daleks can never find our families and put their lives in danger out of revenge.

A bit like 007, then.

Let us know the outcome. Or perhaps better not......

You could say that.

The name's Bassett, Sean Bassett.

How times change, Granny. I remember when you were too respectable to be seen in a place like this. Did your standards fall, or did the clientele improve?

I think Granny is a bit busy flirting with Dalekbuster21 at the moment, Mr Janitor.

I was never respectable, CHJ. What an insult! I just couldn't keep up with the wisecracks.


I do like a nice flirt.

Dalekbuster21's hopeless with it though.

Which Dalekbuster do you suggest, then?

Dalekbuster8's a bit of a romantic. A Peter Venkman, if you will.

Granny as a bond girl! Dreams do come true