Waiting for Chryed to Get It On - Christian & Syed (Part 268)

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lovesy

07-11-2012

Originally Posted by heartsick:
“6 November 2012 Last updated at 17:23563.Separated fathers to gain legal right to see children
The legal change will help fathers gain access to their children
Separated fathers are to gain the legal right to spend time with their children unless they are likely to harm them.

The changes to access laws were announced in a letter to MPs from the Children's Minister Edward Timpson.

The letter says both parents should have the chance "to play a positive role in their children's lives when it is safe and in their best interests".

The 2013 change is seen as unnecessary by legal experts, but welcomed by fathers' rights groups.

The letter states that the government's starting point in the changing the legislation is based on two principles - firstly that the safety of children is paramount, secondly that both parents should be involved in their upbringing.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-20223526”

Thanks for this

Originally Posted by KatrinaK:
“Great analysis Lovesy and I agree that Syed really does need to take a break from his family to not only help himself, and his relationship with Christian put his parents too. However I think it's more himself. He needs to be in an enviroment where he doesn't constantly strive to please and gain acceptance, causing havok, in the process.

I think it would be the best thing for him. It's sad that it's come down to this, especially since the relationship with his parents has been undeveloped but I think Syed does need to do alot of growing up. It's not going to happen in the square.”

Oh definitely, he needs to do it for himself, but as a result of that he will be more successful in his relationship with Christian and life in general I think.

Originally Posted by heartsick:
“No, oh no, deffo not just you. Don't you remember how you had to cuff my hands at the play, to keep me from doing just that. ”

I don't know how you managed to stay in your seat quite frankly:sleep:

demented yoyo

07-11-2012

Originally Posted by heartsick:
“Loved the story - and the fantasy.

I also ran away from home when I was a child. But, since I wasn't allowed to cross the street on my own, I went next door. They let me stay for a biscuit after phoning my parents. Not fair, really.:sleep:”

bib - I did that too. I wasn't allowed to stay for a biscuit though

You are very lucky :sleep:

Originally Posted by KatrinaK:
“Okay, with Chryed going next week, I was thinking, now would be a good time to give our Stonewall Fundraiser that one final push for donations.

http://www.justgiving.com/KatrinaK

I know that a lot of people have already donated – and donated again a couple of weekends ago at ChryedCon- and I don’t expect those people to donate again. So please don’t feel pressured to do so again. However if you want to, by all means.

However since the fundraising page begun in Sepeteber 2011, we’ve had new members join and I can imagine lurkers so if you can afford a tiny bit, that would be fantastic.

I was just thinking EastEnders may have spat on us with this current story but it doesn’t negate the powerful and inspirational story that we got from it. I’ll always look back on the Chryed story about a love story concerning two men who couldn’t be together because of the oppressive, social, orthodox and cultural pressures and issues that still very much exist in real life – not some crappy last minute hatched plot twist. :sleep:

I have increased the target on the page – but that’s not because I expect the thread to aim for that amount but because Dessie still has the half of what we raised at the ChryedCon auction to put through. That should come through in the next few weeks once the con dvds are sent out and of course non-attending registration packs. Any surpluss, will be added to the £1,000 total and then be split evenly between Stonewall and Imaan. ”

And, click this for a lesson in how to donate by text message

Flumps96

07-11-2012

Originally Posted by lovesy:
“Thanks for this

Oh definitely, he needs to do it for himself, but as a result of that he will be more successful in his relationship with Christian and life in general I think.

I don't know how you managed to stay in your seat quite frankly:sleep:”

another one hey, CrazySusan and i were holding on to each other for dear life.:sleep:

heartsick

07-11-2012

Originally Posted by demented yoyo:
“bib - I did that too. I wasn't allowed to stay for a biscuit though You are very lucky :sleep:

And, click this for a lesson in how to donate by text message ”

Is this the source of much that is wrong for you? Go out immediately, purchase some ccs and then re-remember.

And, congrats Buttercup! Great news.

lovesy

07-11-2012

Originally Posted by momentarything:
“BiB: Yeah, that's the main thing, really. I don't have a problem with Amira wanting full custody- Yasmin is her daughter too. But it's just the way it's been executed, it makes them both look a bit reckless. Amira meets a guy, falls in love after a few weeks and this guy is willing to raise a child he's never even met? It's bad enough to marry someone after that short an amount of time, but when there's a child involved? Syed gives his child up to someone he's going to have met once and has never met when he makes the decision? Would've been much, much better if Christian had stated Amira was travelling with her new boyfriend- at least then it would've been months. I mean, four/five months isn't enough to decide to get married and raise a child together, but it is enough time to fall in love and get to know each other and trust someone with your child- as well as the fact he'd have actually spent time with Yasmin. Again, not a bad concept, just awfully executed and completely rushed.

Will say it's very kind of Amira to say Christian can be a part of Yasmin's life, though. That is something I really admire her for, because that is purely for the good of her daughter. Wish she hadn't left totally detesting Christian so it was more believable but hey. This is more believable to her original characterisation than her relentlessly hating Christian without giving an inch.”

Anyone would have thought this story hadn't been thought through/planned at all and was just rushed and slotted in quickly when Marc decided to leave:sleep:

EE inconsistent with characterisation? Never:sleep::sleep: It does show Amira has gained some perspective though and is thinking outside of herself, which can only be a good thing, for Yasmin's sake. I do think she loves her daughter, and as she comes to terms with herself and accepts what happened (with the help of a new husband, house, money:sleep

I think she will only improve as a mother, thank god.

lovesy

07-11-2012

Originally Posted by Flumps96:
“another one hey, CrazySusan and i were holding on to each other for dear life.:sleep:”

Was that to stop each other from launching yourselves at Marc, or to stop yourselves from collapsing on the floor in a puddle?

KatrinaK

07-11-2012

Originally Posted by demented yoyo:
“And, click this for a lesson in how to donate by text message ”

Thank you!

Yes, text donations are accepted also now.

momentarything

07-11-2012

Originally Posted by lovesy:
“Anyone would have thought this story hadn't been thought through/planned at all and was just rushed and slotted in quickly when Marc decided to leave:sleep:

EE inconsistent with characterisation? Never:sleep::sleep: It does show Amira has gained some perspective though and is thinking outside of herself, which can only be a good thing, for Yasmin's sake. I do think she loves her daughter, and as she comes to terms with herself and accepts what happened (with the help of a new husband, house, money:sleep I think she will only improve as a mother, thank god.”

They just had 'CHRISTIAN/SYED EXIT OBJECTIVE: MAKE SYED LOOK AS TERRIBLE AS POSSIBLE' scrawled across a whiteboard in the middle of the writers' room, it seems.

Yeah, it can only be a good thing, really. I can see how with six months away Amira would gain some perspective but it's just incredibly irritating we didn't see her give an inch in the six months she was actually, y'know, there.

PoppyMay

07-11-2012

Amira just wants Christian on board as a babysitter when she and hubby go on holiday 4 times a year.

AL59

07-11-2012

Originally Posted by demented yoyo:
“bib - I did that too. I wasn't allowed to stay for a biscuit though You are very lucky :sleep:”

When I tried to run away from home I got to the door.. and couldn't reach the handle

lovesy

07-11-2012

Regarding Syed and his thinking about what he wants – I don’t believe he’s really questioning that he loves Christian or if he wants to be with Christian. This would be at complete odds and contradictory to the wedding. I thought that was the whole point of the scenes leading up to the wedding. Syed was absolutely sure that Christian was the one he loved and wanted to be with for the rest of his life. I was totally convinced of that at the time, and even Pete has said now that that was not a lie, Syed meant it and was sure, that is how he wrote it. Yes, he lied about DTW, but he had told Christian the feelings behind why he lied, and why he thought he couldn’t marry Christian, but ultimately it wasn’t because he didn’t want to. I’m not saying this was right, obviously it wasn’t, it was awful, but it is evidence that Syed knows he loves and wants Christian, he has no doubt about that (though of course Christian wouldn’t feel that in the slightest now).

So the ‘I’ve been thinking’ scenes with Syed are a little confusing if they are about what he wants and you don’t think Syed was lying about wanting to make a life long commitment at the wedding, and that his surety and conviction in his love was all an act. Hence I think it is to do with his low sense of worth and as a result, the worth of that love. He knows that Christian wants and needs to hear it and that if he says it things have a chance of being ok between them, Christian said so himself, but for how long? He's worried he'll let him down again, that his love, no matter how great, won't be enough, because he himself as a person is not enough and messes everything up. Even Christian said to him once, that their love wasn't enough to hold them together, and left, because of Syeds behaviour. The only thing that has changed now is that they are married and have Yasmin. Maybe that’s why he seemed to doubt the worth of the vows, not that he didn’t mean them, but are love and words, even if spoken in truth enough? There needs to be action too, something tangible. Before the wedding Syed’s actions contradicted and seemed to undermine his love, and with the subsequent lying, his vows too. He was scared about what that said about him and his worth, and the worth of his love, and vows, even though they were real and heartfelt to him. He doesn’t want to let Christian down, to keep hurting him, he doesn’t want to not be good enough for him, not worthy. But he keeps doing it, mostly through inaction, through sticking his head in the sand and getting carried away in the current, in the hope that things will get better, that he can be better. In doing so he keeps proving to himself that his fears are true. But hopefully when they reunite, he will take ACTION and confront his fears and feelings, what he has done and why, and also look in the face of Christian’s fears and feelings and truly acknowledge what he has done to him, to give Christian that. Even the act of moving away from his parents means something important I think. It’s going to take a lot, and a lot to prove to Christian that what he says are not just words. He's going to need to really explain, to look at everything, and take big, positive forward steps with what he gets from that. He needs to acknowledge and learn from the past, but to let go of it and not be tied to it. All this will help him and Christian.

lovesy

07-11-2012

I've got to go, bye everyone

xxx

heartsick

07-11-2012

Originally Posted by AL59:
“When I tried to run away from home I got to the door.. and couldn't reach the handle ”

Best one yet!

PoppyMay

07-11-2012

Has anyone put Marc's BBC Breakfast interview up?

demented yoyo

07-11-2012

Originally Posted by PoppyMay:
“Has anyone put Marc's BBC Breakfast interview up?”

Just tried pm-ing you but your inbox is full.

PoppyMay

07-11-2012

Originally Posted by demented yoyo:
“Just tried pm-ing you but your inbox is full.”

It is????? Thanks - I'll go empty it.

PoppyMay

07-11-2012

Haha most of my PMs are to lb begging her to update her various fics. I miss hot, angsty, IC Chryed

PoppyMay

07-11-2012

OMG Marc looks like such a tramp ahahaaa bless him.

KatrinaK

07-11-2012

Originally Posted by PoppyMay:
“Haha most of my PM are to lb begging her to update her various fics. I miss hot, angsty, IC Chryed”

lol.

I had to empty my inbox the other day. Mostly about the con.

demented yoyo

07-11-2012

Originally Posted by PoppyMay:
“Has anyone put Marc's BBC Breakfast interview up?”

OK, you should have a link to it now

PoppyMay

07-11-2012

Thanks for the links!

PoppyMay

07-11-2012

OMG Xmas adverts already?????

towers

07-11-2012

Originally Posted by lovesy:
“Congratulations on your graduation Buttercup

Thanks for the fic Lyra

Regarding last nights ep, I think the scene with Syed and Zainab, following on from the one between Masood and Zainab about Syed, was saying how the dynamic between Syed and his parents is never going to change and it's foreshadowing that he needs to break away from them. For his own sake, and indirectly his relationship with Christian and also his parents relationship. Again, badly executed with no nuance though.

It is sad for Syed really, that he is still this bane between his parents, going right back to when he was child and nothing’s changed. As a child/teenager, all he wanted to do was please them, make them proud, but he could never live up to it whilst being himself, was resented and rejected, this before he had even done anything wrong. He took on the guilt and responsibility of that, of being the problem, the thing that was wrong, even as a child, he took the weight of that on his shoulders. As an adult he struggles to shake that and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, through confusion, desperation, self-destruction and betrayal of those closest to him. But he has to grow up now, to recognise why what has happened happened, to have the reflection, not just on himself, but on the situation as a whole, including Christian’s position. He has to take responsibility for his own life and actions/mistakes now, but not for those of his parents and not feel responsible for their issues (beyond the recent ones that were actually his doing ) All the more reason that he needs distance between him and them. It won’t be an estrangement, they have accepted him, they will always be a part of each others lives, but from a new, objective, even slightly detached viewpoint. Which is what Syed needs to flourish.

Totally confused about the nonsensical ‘you left’, ‘you told me to go’ stuff between Masood and Zainab. No idea what any of it was supposed to mean, or the point of it, apart from Nina going on a break

I agree the majority if the ep was badly written/executed, especially the toddler group scene, even if I did understand the point that were trying to make. Soon as that scene finished I wondered if it was a Gittins or Povey ep, even though I didn't know at the time. It was quite obvious:sleep:

Agree with Syed that contact should be built up over time with Amira’s new partner. It's a complicated situation surrounding custody, involving lots of factors, but I don't have a problem as such with Amira wanting to resume main custody, just the way it was executed last night wasn’t great. It does seem to happen quickly with not much transition. But then we have had spoilers suggesting she is being reasonable about access for Chryed, and understands they too have a role in her life. I can understand and sympathise with Syed’s reasons for going along with it. I do think he is thinking of Yasmin, and thinks he is doing the right thing, but he is not thinking completely straight and I think the reality of the situation will hit him almost as soon as he has made the decision. But in the end I'm not sure he, or Chryed would have made a different decision anyway. There is the point about a longer transition period, but the plot and timing constraints mean that that is completely impossible to do from a story telling pov so I don't think we can place any importance on it at all. Ditto Amira moving near London. Like vf said, this is a plot device, as part of Syed's story more than anything.

I think it's completely unrealistic that eventually Chryed wouldn’t move to live near Yasmin and still be a big part of her life.

Loved the scenes with Yasmin, she is so relaxed and natural on set.

I can't not mention how delicious Syed looked last night with neck/collarbone/shoulder glimpse. Guh, don't you just want to stroke/lick his warm, glowing skin, then run your hands through his hair as you gaze into his eyes? ...Or maybe that's just me”

Lol, not just you..

towers

07-11-2012

Originally Posted by momentarything:
“They just had 'CHRISTIAN/SYED EXIT OBJECTIVE: MAKE SYED LOOK AS TERRIBLE AS POSSIBLE' scrawled across a whiteboard in the middle of the writers' room, it seems.

Yeah, it can only be a good thing, really. I can see how with six months away Amira would gain some perspective but it's just incredibly irritating we didn't see her give an inch in the six months she was actually, y'know, there. ”

This is why I've been shaking my head during the whole of this sad mess of a storyline.

NowhereToHide

07-11-2012

Originally Posted by lovesy:
“Regarding Syed and his thinking about what he wants – I don’t believe he’s really questioning that he loves Christian or if he wants to be with Christian. This would be at complete odds and contradictory to the wedding. I thought that was the whole point of the scenes leading up to the wedding. Syed was absolutely sure that Christian was the one he loved and wanted to be with for the rest of his life. I was totally convinced of that at the time, and even Pete has said now that that was not a lie, Syed meant it and was sure, that is how he wrote it. Yes, he lied about DTW, but he had told Christian the feelings behind why he lied, and why he thought he couldn’t marry Christian, but ultimately it wasn’t because he didn’t want to. I’m not saying this was right, obviously it wasn’t, it was awful, but it is evidence that Syed knows he loves and wants Christian, he has no doubt about that (though of course Christian wouldn’t feel that in the slightest now).

So the ‘I’ve been thinking’ scenes with Syed are a little confusing if they are about what he wants and you don’t think Syed was lying about wanting to make a life long commitment at the wedding, and that his surety and conviction in his love was all an act. Hence I think it is to do with his low sense of worth and as a result, the worth of that love. He knows that Christian wants and needs to hear it and that if he says it things have a chance of being ok between them, Christian said so himself, but for how long? He's worried he'll let him down again, that his love, no matter how great, won't be enough, because he himself as a person is not enough and messes everything up. Even Christian said to him once, that their love wasn't enough to hold them together, and left, because of Syeds behaviour. The only thing that has changed now is that they are married and have Yasmin. Maybe that’s why he seemed to doubt the worth of the vows, not that he didn’t mean them, but are love and words, even if spoken in truth enough? There needs to be action too, something tangible. Before the wedding Syed’s actions contradicted and seemed to undermine his love, and with the subsequent lying, his vows too. He was scared about what that said about him and his worth, and the worth of his love, and vows, even though they were real and heartfelt to him. He doesn’t want to let Christian down, to keep hurting him, he doesn’t want to not be good enough for him, not worthy. But he keeps doing it, mostly through inaction, through sticking his head in the sand and getting carried away in the current, in the hope that things will get better, that he can be better. In doing so he keeps proving to himself that his fears are true. But hopefully when they reunite, he will take ACTION and confront his fears and feelings, what he has done and why, and also look in the face of Christian’s fears and feelings and truly acknowledge what he has done to him, to give Christian that. Even the act of moving away from his parents means something important I think. It’s going to take a lot, and a lot to prove to Christian that what he says are not just words. He's going to need to really explain, to look at everything, and take big, positive forward steps with what he gets from that. He needs to acknowledge and learn from the past, but to let go of it and not be tied to it. All this will help him and Christian.”

I admire you for trying with this

Personally, I don't think this makes sense due to the stupid plot twist of lying before the wedding about sleeping with Danny. If he lied but he still wanted to marry Christian (as the writer states), then Syed's indecision makes very little sense - we have no idea what his indecision is based on. If he was unsure of the wedding before he went ahead, then that does not correlate with what the writer reckons - and it makes a mockery of the wedding. Plus, Syed appeared at ease with his vows (and hearing Christian saying all his heartfelt vows to him

) after the wedding when Christian didn't know he lied, but he's not OK now???

The plot 'twist' has f***ed up any chance of any kind of logical explanation that isn't 'Syed is a git'. It's more than annoying - sensationalism vs. the story making sense

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