I think tonight she knew that by giving 100% the best she could, that there was no point in doing the trial at all as no one can give any more than 100%. I think getting onto that wheel and giving 100% was a brave thing to do. The snivelling and crying and me me me afterwards was to try and take away the focus of the nasty behaviour of her fellow campmates..She really is selfless. Well done helen for that.

(in all honesty it is becoming harder and harder to be sarcastic as she really is doing herself no favours)

Word is reaching us of a monumental event in the making!
Tonight, although it is mathematically impossible, Helen will attempt to give 101% !!!!!
If she does this, it will break the laws of physics and Brian Cox will dissolve into a puddle of goo.
But damn it, it's worth the risk!
My heart is with you Helen. May your wonderful goodness shine across the universe.

(Yeah. The level of sarcasm is getting harder. But she's a gift that keeps on giving! )

Literally LOL-ing at this, but most of all at the best username I've ever seen on here. Well done you.

News flash!
Helen has had to leave the camp.Her services are required on the Gaza strip,where she will save numerous civilian lives by fearlessly catching missiles in her teeth.
She will then put her amazing 'people'skills to the test by brokering the peace deal that will lay this age old conflict to rest for ever.
After this the Nobelpeace prize is a dead cert for this selfless heroine.

The sad thing is, when she gets shown this thread she will think people meant their comments about her

It is possible that tonight, Helen will win some stars and be lauded as the greatest heroine of our time, for grabbing three stars when a tame lizard was sleeping nearby.

It's probably best to brace ourselves for the surge of emotion, pride and awe we'll all experience. If you have fireworks left over, prepare to let them off and dance around in the garden or street, hugging your loved ones and neighbours. Hooters ( not Helen's ) will go off. Church bells will ring out and bonfires will be lit on every hill in Britain.

Who is kidding who here ? are we speaking about the same Helen who is declining all of the tasks in this series and not even giving them a go ? the one who is not bringing in any food for the starving contestants,I do not think they would agree with you on this one !

*Face-Palm*

Is anyone actually taking this thread to be genuinely praising Helen ??

A very brave girl is Helen.
Unlike that pathetic Ellen MacArthur who cried like a baby for being left alone on a boat. What a wimp.

I have heard tell that David Cameron is tabling a motion in Parliament to have a new national holiday in honour of her...

A day to mark bravery and triumph over adversity and fears........

With Helen's face on coins and stamps ? Ooh..I do hope so . Then we can see her face every day !

Ooooh, yes!!!

Commemoration mugs and tea towels.... biscuit tins.... flags...

Wow ! I think that duvet covers ,too,would make a great Christmas present for all everyone's relatives and friends ! Helen's brave face 5ft by 6, in every home in the land.

OMG...I can't wait... Special duvet covers with built in night lights and a button that plays snippets of Harry Potter

And so it came to pass ...

Brave Lady Helen had to leave the battlefield.
She looked across her camp, strewn with the bodies of her rivals, and her six remaining allies.
Holding aloft her sword, and pausing only to pat her lips again, she spoke to them;
"Fear not, my friends" she boomed "For I am as surprised as you, that I must leave!"
"But be not of faint heart. Find strength in my past deeds. Remember that none of you got 12 stars or are as empowered as me, but you may go on to win the tournament"
"I leave you my fake-tan for remembrance. But you're not having the mirror!"
"And as my boobs have already left the jungle, I must follow them as sure as night follows day"

... and with that, she left her comrades. And walked into the bright future of an ITV2 reality show. She shall never be forgotten.

( Sorry. Had to bump this thread as a last hurrah for the lovely bit of sarcasm that was running through it. )

Fail.

Brilliant ! If only you were on Get Me Out Of Here Now instead of the er...comedian, we could enjoy a good laugh !

Thank you SF!
That's genuinely made my night!

Be an even bigger complement if that "comedian" wasn't so dire. Bet his contract runs out after this series.

I reckon there's a taxi with the meter running waiting for Rob...

Breaking News: As a result of the preparations for our dear, brave heroine's triumphant return, Manchester has officially been declared to be a closed city.

Additionally, rose petals are now a rationed item, throughout the whole of this green and pleasant land and all taps and fountains are due to be switched from supplying water to red wine, as of midnight on the day of her arrival, so as to facilitate the celebrations of a grateful nation.

A procession of hooded druids bearing lit torches of oak twigs is slowly moving towards the Great Tor at Glastonbury. When they reach the summit, there will be sonorous chanting, to celebrate the success of the Goddess.

A selection of peasants will then be smeared in melted chocolate, to represent the miraculous self tanning of the goddess Helen. The chocolate will be licked off by specially trained squirrels, whilst the peasants chant " She thinks she's chocolate".

Pagan festivities will continue until dawn. If there is rain, all will shelter under the Great Bra, made from the fur of anything that died of natural causes eg stoats, badgers, rabbits, hares and voles.

Further Breaking News: The painting of Elizabeth I as "Gloriana", in the National Portrait Gallery, is to be re-touched, so as to replace the features of a long dead, and trifling, non-entity with those of the mighty Helen, Empress of Australia and Conqueror of the Bush.

I wish I had internal genitals. Then I could strive to be like Helen. Although I (like others) could never hope to emulate her achievements...

At least you, have an internal brain.