Perhaps the awful fare offered up on last night's Royal Variety performance from "established" artists explains why people are now more interested in the alternative of reality talent shows for their TV "light entertainment".

Mind you two of the culprits originally found fame from the talent show genre....Girls Aloud who mimed, and Lemar, who was live, but who seemed so nervous that he sang terribly.

Some of the other "highlights"
Liza Minnelli ....words fail me.....
Josh Groban.... what a tedious song...couldn't understand a word
Jamelia ...also nervous and sang poorly
Michael Buble... :yawn: do we really need to go back to the 50s?
Brian Mc Fadden and Delta Goodrem...boring song, no spark between them..
Strange man who kept changing costumes...how hilarious :yawn:
Failed attempt at recreating "Round the Horne"...60's radio humour just doesn't work as 2004 TV
Jimmy Carr...quite funny but got no audience reaction.
Excerpts from "the Producers" the "sell-out hottest show in Town" :sleep: :sleep: including the vocal and dancing skills of Lee Evans
Elton John with three young boys

...and just when you thought it couldn't get any worse, someone resurrected Tommy Steele, the man who, we were told, brought rock and roll to the UK..

Sorry but I wasn't masochistic enough to stay for the second part ....did it get any less awful??

It's the Queen I feel sorry for, she's been watching basically the same show for the last 75 years. And she can't turn over can she?

Not really

I was flicking between showjumping and BBC1, and only because I felt like I 'should' pay attention to the Coliseum's birthday.

When Cliff Richard started trying to flamenco dance, I gave up.....

I'll take your and raise you another


Thank goodness I missed that

You forgot Girls Aloud. How do they get away with miming big gigs like this and still hold on to their credibility with the British music media?

What credibility?

Theres a thread for RVP here too: http://forum.digitalspy.co.uk/board/...1&page=1&pp=25

I DID mention them in introducing this thread, but you are correct in as much as it was an eminently forgettable performance....

...trouble is, if you try it live, and flop (as with Jamelia and Lemar) that doesn't help your credilbility either...

I only saw a little bit of it but yes, it was god-awful.

Liza Minnelli - painful.

Lemar - dismal.

Elton John - come on, you can do better than that!

I thought the 3 Billy Elliot kids showed more talent than most of the rest of them put together! And they're only about 12

She couldn't hold a note
She could barely hold her self vertical

Their singing was woefully out of tune, and the pair doing the synchronised dancing seemed ill-matched.

Liza was absolutely, show-stoppingly hilarious! Her look of luvvie pride at her own performance when the last gargle died out had us in fits!

Has no one else drawn attention to the water-gymnastic routine performed to music? Now that's what I call talent! (although as much of the routine was set in the bath, I thought the gymnast grossly overdressed!)

saw girls aloud, they were pathetic, the ginger one couldnt even mime properly she was that busy concentrating on her "dance" moves , i switched off after that

I'm sorry I didn't see it now, it sounds hilarious.

I only saw Lemar (and that was because I happened to turn over during the ads on BB best bits) but the performance was woeful. I don't think it was entirely Lemar's fault, the dancers were completely out of time, they seemed more interested in their headpieces than the number What on earth Lemar's management were thinking allowing him to take part in that shambles I do not know

I didn't see it at all. Is that woeful as in Lemar's singing voice or his whole performance, because on Fame Academy he was excellant although I never wanted him to win it, he wasn't my favourite.

Referring to the comment about Michael Buble. He is a very talented musician, and in comparison with much of the dross that appeared on that show, Girls Aloud, Lemar, Liza and even Elton (who appears to have changed his music style to fit in well with Dolly Parton and her country songs) he was a much welcomed relief.

So what if he sings 50's songs? They were far better written than many of the things that are sung today...look at songs like "Sound of the Underground" or "Some Girls" and he sings them well, he can hold a tune and he wasn't miming like so many artists.

I notice that no one mentioned Josh Groban either...two pieces of pleasure out of an evening of torture...for much of the evening I felt I was being electrocuted slowly and painfully without promise of reprieve...

That being my point!

Liza was excruciating to watch, good on the old girl for trying but hope she doesn't try again.

I missed the water gymnastics thing, unfortunately.

I thought Josh Groban was very much a highlight of the show...I'd have no right to fault a guy who can sing like that, live, in front of a bunch of VIPs...blimey

Well my mum enjoyed it. She phoned me to tell me to make sure I watched it because Tommy Steele was just coming on. How sad is that? I think it must be her age (sorry mum) .

Everything Susann, I have never heard Lemar sounding that bad, even when FA first started, I really hope he doesn't do anything like that again (BTW I didn't vote for him either as I KNEW he would be huge, I have bought his two albums though, which is much more important).

And Girls Aloud - your kid sister and her friends miming along to Cristmas TOTP

I think the likes of Lemar and Jamelia, who are both very talented (poor bloke shopuld have steered clear of the x-factor/fame acadamy claptrap. That Sneddon bloke sullied the good name of the Arsenal fan), really should steer clear of this kind of show and leave it to the old timers.

To be honest, they looked embarrassed to be there.

And although Liza Minelli was atrocious, remember Cabaret and forgive her.

I accept Michael Buble can sing, and that a lot of great music came from the 1950's, but every young male singer today seems to have to do rat-pack type numbers. I'm finding this a bit tiresome now. Best left to the originals IMHO.

I did refer to Josh Groban, if you look back to the beginning, but I'm afraid it was not complimentary either.

What!!!!!!!!!!!! I love this song its released on 24th January, btw.

gawd did i miss it when was it on gutted best comedy show of the year that is, mam will get a kick now she did not tell me. and i missed all that fun all them jokes to make after it bout the stupid acts did anyone MIME as that is the topic round here today aint it.

Peppermint (cola)