You'd have to be a real fool to be fooled by this tedious spectacle.

First off, honestly, all of these trials are goofs. None of them are about "triumph" in any real way. At all. If you believe that completing these silly games are in any way something to be "so happy" "so happy" "so happy" and/or "so proud of [yourself]" for, 'cuz, like, it's the mostest, bestest thing you've ever ever ever done? You are quite obviously and pathetically taking a weak piss.

This is all child's play. You've not accomplished a goddamned thing. You're on a ****ing gameshow playing with goo in a petting zoo.

And if you need babying hand-holding and to get you through every step of them? Embarrassed and ashamed is all you need be.

IOW: FO

Like it

That live trial was so easy, yet she still made a drama out of it

Well I certainly wouldn't want to eat a kangaroo's anus or a wallaby's bollock, let alone any animal's knob, so your saying they aren't even real knobs or bollocks, because all these trials are goofs, what about the baked spider, what was that really?

Someone got out the wrong side of bed this morning?

I’d eat Eric’s turds if they paid me forty grand! Well, I would give it 100%.

And if you did eat a kangaroo's anus, would that be one of your proudest moments? How about catching a plastic star while having goo dropped on you? Or pushing a button and then retrieving a juice box from a box with a harmless snake in it? Big girl time? Big triumphant bestest proudest big girl time?

What a ****ing joke.

And it's good that most of the GBP are not buying the Idiot Act. Hopefully they will continue to make her pay for trying to sell them such shit.

Hats off to you sir. Can I ask, are you in any way, shape or form related to Hugh Erection? Only he had a marvellous way with words too.

Sounds like you're the one who needs to get a bit of perspective, it's just an entertainment show! It's like you've never seen it before.. The trials are obviously silly, but they also involve facing your fears and winning food for your friends. To suggest that Helen shouldn't be pleased that she won 12 meals is dumb. Is this the latest way to criticise Helen - to be annoyed that she was happy that she did well?! It's not like there was any OTT display, she was just pleased. any contestant on any gameshow would be pleased...

If I ate a kangaroo's anus I would most probably be quite ill afterwards, so wouldn't eat it, apparently they are quite tough and chewy and there's also the terror of the unknown as in the anus may not have been thoroughly cleaned and shaved. I wouldn't want to be tasting poo or spitting out arse hairs for a good few hours after the snack.

Some people are scared of snakes and it has been reported that the ostrich could have killed her, she was quite brave to enter a confined space with an ostrich that could have done her serious damage. ( this is a fact about ostriches, google it)

As for catching the star while a load of crap is slung in your face, how on earth are you meant to catch it, surely if she looked upwards and that gunk covered her goggles how was she supposed to see the star? I think that trial was harder than it looked, so in reflection yes, I would be proud of myself and will join the bestest big girl club

if 'hugh' were pronounced like 'huge' .... i get the jokey name but it's not so .... a bit confused.
'hew letdown'?
i do agree with your post though

If the trials are ridiculously easy, as you say, why do they bother to have them at all? And if you think it's so puerile, why do you watch it?

Let's just say you must be one those who is "enjoying" the tedious spectacle.

When I find a TV show that I think is a tedious spectacle, I switch to something else. I certainly don't go on the net, find out where fans of the show talk about it and then tell them how tedious I find it.
Get. A. Life.

Just like when you find a thread that you can't argue with you start yelping in hopes that the person who's argument you can't deal with will listen to your yelping pleas to go away and not bother your TV show?

The "tedious spectacle" is Helen's Idiot Act; as is made clear if you. can. read. You might best just "switch" off entirely and learn. to. read, eh?

It was suggested last night that the snake was not real. Someone saw a price tag on it.

LOL., and I keep hearing the jungle is at the back of a supermarket car park.

Heh.

Whatever it was it was entirely nonthreatening. Even Helen didn't try and play that one particular phase of this whole sham up.

Yeah, where they keep the ostriches that'll kill ya' by ripping yer guts out. Disemboweled! I tell ya! Yuh-huh.

Very good!

However you did claim the trials were all "goofs" and it was all "child's play". That doesn't really sound like a fan of the show.
Thank. You. Very. Much.
Or to put it another way. Yelp! Yelp!

Do you serious see it otherwise? I mean it is just a gameshow. It's just a bit of goofy fun. Nobody's gonna get eaten or have their guts ripped out or starve or fall to their death... it's a goofy little gameshow; a petting zoo with goo essentially. And I usually don't watch it but every fifth series maybe...

Tell me you don't take it seriously? Tell me you don't think I must take it deadly serious or else not watch it? Tell me you aren't telling me I'm not a "qualified" fan?

I'm just particularly sick and tired of this celebrate-an-idiot culture that has been increasingly ongoing. And I'd like to see this latest dire pusher of such crap have to eat her foolish game now. I've had it. This cheap, and, yes, WAY OTT (so happy so happy so proud and so happy ever ever so happy), redemption nonsense was the last straw.

Keep voting for her. Make her continue this tedium she has engaged in. Make her continue to be a spectacle. Make her and her agent and this show sorry they started this stupid, transparent, played out game.

But do you like The Only Way Is Essex tho?

You have a very strange writing style.
Your slightly incoherent anger seems to be directed against Helen for being happy to get 12 stars. The thing is there wasn't any really dramatic 'redemption' storyline, Ant and Dec made a few jokes and Helen seemed reasonably pleased.

That is one heck of a bitter rant from someone who doesn't take it seriously! What on Earth would you be like if you DID take it seriously?
Me? I just watch it as a bit of entertainment. Your suggestion that Helen is only in there to raise her profile is very true. It also applies to anyone who has ever appeared on the show in its history!
Mind you, if you have only watched two series you may not have known that.

Never let the facts get in the way of a good rant.

Have you noticed that the Crocodile has its mouth taped firmly shut, when in the water with humans ?