Hey guys! (warning, long post ahead.)
The thing I find strange is how can it even be a question anymore who Ste is going to be happy with? Like, I know for instance that Ste may doubt whether or not him and Brendan would work, and I can also understand how Ste might wonder if Brendan has really changed and if he can trust him. However, I think it goes without saying that if we ignore the doubts Ste has about Brendan as just think about who he would really be happy with, then the answer would without a doubt be Brendan. I just think that if Ste loved Doug and really thought Doug is the person he’s destined to be with, then he wouldn’t even think about Brendan. Brendan wouldn’t even be on his radar. The moment Ste woke up and asked for Brendan, the moment he hugged Doug but was hoping for Brendan, was the moment that proved that Ste would only find true happiness with Brendan. I don’t really think the question is ‘Who would Ste be happiest with?’ because the answer if clearly Brendan. I think the question is who will Ste find long-term contentment with. With Brendan Ste would be the happiest, but there’s no guarantee the happiness will last. With Doug he’ll find long-term contentment, but not absolute happiness. Doug will never be what he truly wants, because too much of him is invested in Brendan and what could have been or what could be. Until Ste finds out what it’s like to be with Brendan, completely and utterly, and to be in a relationship with him… then Ste can’t be happy. He just can’t be. The most he can hope for is a shadow of the happiness he could have had with Brendan, if he could trust Brendan.
I’m just glad we are almost 100% sure we know what happens, otherwise this whole thing would be torture to watch. It’s clear Ste can only be happy with Brendan, he can’t be happy with Doug because if he was happy with Doug he wouldn’t be looking for Brendan when he’s just stepped back from death’s door. It almost feels like it takes up all of Ste’s energy to want Doug, and he just couldn’t be bothered trying to want Doug the same way he wants Brendan in those moments. I just can’t buy this whole ‘Ste feels conflicted because he loves them both’ stuff, because it’s so crazy. Ste clearly loves and wants Brendan but is scared, and rightfully so! He does love Doug but it’s not in the same way, it’s just safe. Safe love is appealing for obvious reasons, but it will never be just enough to make him forget about Brendan. While Brendan is still in the village, Ste won’t be happy. But the thing is even if Brendan were to leave the village, I still don’t believe he’d be happy because he’d miss Brendan!
God I need Dublin right now…
BH