This thread is only for me and other Michelle fans, so don't bother posting if you're views don't match ours, thank you very much.

Now, let's talk about Michelle -

Anyone know what the talentless moon-faced slapper has been up to lately?

Apparently the kids are coming away from this panto traumatised after seeing her cold, dead, black shark eyes up close. The make up department is trying to make her look a little bit more human... they're giving her a Michael Myers mask.

Fans who came in through the stage door to meet her found her standing at her dressing room microwave screaming "HURRY UP!!!".

I hear she stepped on an "I Speak Your Weight Machine" and it said "One at a time please!".


When she and Stu-pid were on their luxury holiday, she was sunbathing on the beach one day and they had to ask her to move to let the tide in.

When she got home, she hung her knickers out on the line to dry and a family of gypsies moved in.



Come on gang, let's share all the news and goss.

Fans only please!

A fan enters gingerly, looking out for shark eyes - singing Pie Jesu?

The sumo wrestling was a costume, y'know!

It must have brought back remembrance of that time at 14 when she was exactly that size! Something about muscle memory.

I was at the doctors today and their was the OK issue with loads of photos of Michelle in. I was gonna nick it, but had other things on my mind. She looked good in the clothes she was modelling and her smile showed she was having fun. Good on her.

Can i ask for a small favour, just a little bit of originality please, weve heard these same things for months now, just a little wit and imagination, i dont ask for much, your like little lost sheep following your bo, its incredibly tiresome now and i laugh at you not with you anymore, all of the people that post on here that like michelle should leave them alone to there sad little musings, its not big and it certainly aint clever,

I'm starting to think that John-John doesn't like Michelle.

I'll say what I said on the Shell thread.....I like Michelle although she wasn't my favourite.

Michelle, or jj?

the word your should be a pointer,

As usual Solway, in your haste to make your usual spurious points, you've completed missed the ironical twist to JJ's thread. But then again why should we really be surprised. We all laugh at your brainwashed adulation of someone with no talent, charisma or career longevity. And before you mention the panto career ... it's only seasonal.

Our Michelle. A once in a year phenomenon.

irony, whats that, i wasnt missing anything ironical was i, and im a lady so never hasty, spurious points, what does this mean, and how do you know im usual, i was only asking for a bit of originality, thats not too much to ask for, i dont care what you say about her, i used to find the posts funny in there over the top way, but they have all been repeated ad nauseum, and its boring,

solway just ignore the topic

Michelle fans only please... Solway, if you want to be funny at someone's expense, please do it elsewhere. I'm tired of putting up with you people who have no respect for some reality TV hag.

Yes dear, just rise above it.

Out you go - I want only real Michelle fans here, not people who just say everyone in the world (except Jason and Vanessa) is wonderful. That just devalues the currency of fandom, and MooMoo deserves more than that

I don't think half of you who claim to be Michelle fans would recognise her if you tripped over her as she was pleasuring some old man in the pub car park.

I think I'm really the only one here qualified to have any opinion of her - I'm the one who looks into those cold black eyes, I'm the one who knows her favourite food off by heart (second helpings), and I'm the only one who knows her vital statistics: 47:39:66

I wish Marco would ask her to come on here and meet up with me on this forum - she owes me no less, when you think about it, and I have a lot of questions for her - like, if she could sing at all without curdling people's blood, what would be her favourite song?

They're all 'hags' who do reality tv.

That's true in a desperate wannabe sense, but I meant the term in it's original O.E.D. sense;

Hag (noun) A bunny-boiling, ugly psycho witch; one who is as insecure as she is ugly; a woman one would not want oneself or one's friends to get involved with; a moonfaced pie eater one would chew one's arm off to get away from if one got chained to her on a reality show; a vile bint.

That's all my ex girlfriends you've just described.

But Michelle is not ugly.

We've heard how tough you'd be while your in your bedsit but I feel in the real world she'd kick your swollen arse.. remember Ahmed?

Ahmed was only two feet tall and couldn't see six inches in front of him. Alex from BB3 could have kicked his arse (well, after a lot of girly arm-flapping).

I'm a different story - I'd be taking none of her bunny boiling, bullying, Bass antics.

The kindest thing you could say about her is she is "homely".

She has cold, unkind eyes, and a phoney, rictus smile not unlike Posh Spice's. Her face is wide, rather Eskimo-like, almost, and her hair, when it is not pulled back so tight it looks like she's bungy-jumped by it, makes her look like Wednesday Addams.

Other than that....

I don't know. But if she were a car, you wouldn't get an MOT on her.

You know these threads are pointless and achieve nothing

Haven't got a different slant on it for us to ponder/

Tsk tsk, such nihilism in one so young.

You need to expose yourself to the sunshine of threads which have a point and achieve so much - away and read the thread for "Fans of the LGBs Only". It's all rainbows and lollipops there - it's like literary Prozac.

As for me - no, I don't have a different slant unfortunately. I prefer to see it as mining a distinctly rich vein though...

She's female and attractive (or reasonably so) QED