OMG the thought of the final makes me want to puke already. jade goodeys ex husband is (insert city) surrounded by the mayor and hordes of people, followed up by mentor and act returning home with a pull on the old heartstrings and a plea for votes.

what xfactor bingo isms will be trotted out on saturday - either during the live show or 'at the family home'?

I have a feeling we are going to be seeing a lot of shots of Chris Nan.

And lets not forget the completely staged "Homecoming" videos...

Suddenly, Christopher is going to get a lot of praise from Tulisa and Louis. Just because it's the finals and everyone is beautiful.

"Well, you're still here. Good job!" or something like that would be expected

I'm guessing we'll see a few standing ovations (maybe not for Chris - unless it's from Gary)

Simon via live satellite link

"You sound like a popstar, you look like a popstar"

Louis Walsh talking shite as usual

Louis Walsh talking with 'one million percent' belief and conviction.

"...the next big boy band" oh wait...

That's exactly Louis Walsh. You forgot :

You remind me of a young Elvis Presley. I think that if John Lennon was alive, he would love to work with you.

No, they are not suddenly being nice to him for that reason, they were basically told to wind their necks in and shut up because they were causing the sympathy vote.

There were several stories about her being told to shut by producers, to which she then ranted about on twitter http://www.independent.ie/entertainm...s-3302355.html

I'm sure at some stage Louis will say to one of them "You're in the final*

"you absolutely smashed it!!"

Louis to Jahmene and James........you are what the X Factor is all about, people need to pick up the phone and vote fer ye

Yes, so am I

I've been on an incredible journey...

it'll change my life and (insert relation's) life...

also I love the judge's at the family home swearing to nana and some other randoms - I'll do right by little johnny (simon cowell at journey souths house springs to mind)

Louis Walsh

you are like the new Ed Sheeran / Professor Green
you are like the new Marvin Gaye / Prince

"It will change my life"

Louis:

"Christopher, you're in the final ... "
"Jahmene, you're in the final ... "
"James, you're in the final ... "

From the judges:

You've proved that you deserve to be here.

How much you've grown in confidence since those first auditions.

so and so will be so proud of you.

whatever happens you will be a big star (kind of defeats the point)

That was your best performance of the series.

I've always liked you

Your nan/mum/homeless doorway will be so proud of you

That was the case when Same Difference made it to the final.

Louis criticised them all the way but congratulated them in the final (despite saying "I can't believe you're still in the show!" )

LOL Absolutely.
Then again, what else can they say? Things like 'I can see you flopping bigtime' or 'I really don't get it how you got this far' wouldn't really go down well with the public, besides being very unkind.

James! you are gonna be the next big boyband! .....