Watched the coming out show last night and just have to say, am I the only one who thought her parents looked like a pair of limp wet lettuces?

Her dad looked like a right dozey twonk who never bothered to open his mouth once while her mum seemed to mollycoddle her. It's no wonder the girl is so mard and got no backbone the way her mummy panders to her and treats her like a little girl and her dad just seemed to tag along like one of those nodding dog (yes dear) types. Probably got a job as a 'Telephone Sanitizer' or something similar.

What idiot goes on about hurtful comments in the press then goes on to show them all to her daughter? 'here darling, take a look at these press cuttings and all the really horrible things people are saying about you.' then complain cos she's getting upset. Are they stupid or just plain attention seekers?

Sorry to stereotype but she's like one of those women who still has a dolls house and sleeps with her favourite teddy and stamps her feet and cries when things dont go her way.

You only have to look at her parents to see why she's so wet and pathetic. A prime example of liberal parenting. She's obviously never been taught to stand on her own two feet and her mum and dad don't exactly look like they've got much backbone either. Shes clearly been alowed all her own way and I can't see from looking at her parents that they are the type to put their foot down. The words spoiled brat spring to mind. She needs to man up and grow up but somehow I can't see that happening while her mummy and daddy are there to keep wiping her nose for her.

I've said from the start it's mainly down to her parents that she's like she is. I've spent my professional life working with youngsters of all ages with similar issues to Helen and in almost every case the battle has been to get the parents to be the right kind of major influence in their child's life. I may not be expressing that as well as I could, but basically - despite us all being born with, obviously, individual personalities - those personalities are up for nurturing (or not) and encouraging in an either positive or negative direction by the life experience that person then has.

There have been many studies on nature versus nurture - it's a fascinating area of study! I think, because of my job, I've been quite a 'hard' parent, in that I have never tolerated any whining, play-acting, attention-seeking dramas from either of my daughters (the oldest being only 3 years younger than Helen) and it's been hard work (the easiest parental reaction, always, is to 'give in' to whatever it is their child wants - reasons for that vary, but the usual one is "but I'm scared they won't love me any more if I'm tough on them".

That's why I was pleased to hear Charlie use the phrase 'tough love' when talking about Helen, and I don't know Charlie as a person from Adam, but straight away I had more faith in Charlie as a parent as not being the kind to 'indulge' Helen's type of behaviour - no wonder it drove Charlie mad (it drove me mad too!).

I'm not being 'nasty' and I don't 'hate' Helen (or her parents) but you reap what you sow when it comes to bringing up your children - and it doesn't matter how mundane or how unusual their childhood life is. Whilst Helen's parents have, in some ways, come off quite lightly (Helen's not a bad person, she's just not ever expected to have to 'try' in her own personal attempts to reach maximum expectations) they themselves are not bad people, so of course they will have wanted to shape Helen in their own image in that respect. However, I suspect that they were afraid to ask much more of Helen as their child in terms of personal achievement and goals away from work. It becomes a vicious circle - if you don't start as you mean to go on from their very earliest years (toddlers) then it's hard to start when their older - any attempt to teach more appropriate behaviours is met by the reaction from the child that has always garnered sympathy and a 'I can't do this' attitude as before, which of course then upsets the parents more, so then one of two things happens: they either say "sorry, we know it's hard, but you have to do this whether you scream or cry or whatever..." or (as is often the case) the parents say "oh, there there - it's ok, you don't have to do it after all, we can see you tried, you did your best or whatever..." when really nothing has changed at all!

They were quick to blame the gutter press (Helen got upset about it upsetting her Mum) but I didn't see much introspection going on from her about why she was being portrayed in such a harsh way. She STILL kept on about "I'm so proud of myself", but it was for all the wrong things and her parents would have been better off saying "right, it's not been good, and I'm afraid you didn't come across as someone who was doing their best - even if you thought you were - so it's time to do a bit of growing up rather than blaming everyone and everything else for our troubles."

As I say, I'm a hard, but fair, Mum who has had the benefit of a professional life which has given me a lot of tips which work in parenting (the most important job in the world but with no 'manual' - no wonder many parents have neither confidence or skill in key areas!). But that's what parental love is - being prepared to do the hard things for the eventual long-term good of the child for when they are old enough to make their own decisions. I have two very happy, well-balanced, sensible girls who were - frankly - appalled at what they saw in Helen, and identified very early on a lot of the things I've said on and off over the last month or so, but also knew straight away that Helen wasn't responsible all by herself. A child starts and ends by how it is brought up by its parents!

I thought it was quite sad when her mum said, I hope this has made Helen more mature. So hopefully we might get to see her. Obviously she is so tied up in her own life , mummy and daddy don't get a look in.

I felt sorry for them too. Imagine seeing those awful headlines about your daughter.

They seemed like perfectly nice, decent people to me. Not everybody has to be an over the top extrovert type. Their daughter is in the public eye, not them. They were there to support her, even though it took them out of their comfort zone. Good for them.

A great post Jersey, thanks. You're right about tough love and this is how we've parented from day one. Our son is only a toddler but we never pander to his whines and crocodile tears.

I've seen so many parents over the years and growing up who are too soft on their kids, allow them to get all their own way, spoil them, let them have everything they want for an easy life or just generally don't have any strength or backbone when it comes to parenting or discipline. But this attitude seems to have gone more widespread over the last 20 years with almost a complete abandonment of discipline and parents who constantly pander to their child's tantrums.

I used to walk around the supermarket with my mum and see children kicking off and screaming and the mother would say in their limpest voice, 'dont do that darling' and 'if your good, mummy will buy you some sweets' etc. like they were being rewarded for not being naughty and I used to say, that mother is gonna have real problems with them when they get older. As a result most of the kids I know who've had this kind of parenting now seem to have the upper hand on their parents and can't stand on their own two feet and the minute anything goes wrong they're running back to mummy and daddy and tend to blame everyone else for their own failures.

My wife is a teacher and she tells me stories of parents coming in to the school kicking off after their naughty child has been disciplined blaming everyone else for their child's behavior and saying, 'there there darling mummy will stick up for you.'

The problem is, a lot of people can't see that being nice all the time and giving in to your child's every whim and cocooning them from life's hardships is equally as detrimental to a child's upbringing. They may be lovely people but obviously not got a clue about teaching your child how to be independent and grown up and take responsibilities.

We used to have a couple that came in my mum and dad's pub who had a daughter that domineered her parents. They were lovely people but totally soft as sh*te and pandered to their daughters every cry, whinge, foot stomp etc. A right pair of wet lettuces with no backbone.

She would use her dad as a personal taxi service for her as well as all her friends. She'd talk to them like crap and tell them what SHE wanted. If she felt she didnt want to do anything then her parents would allow her to give up. Her dad bought her a car and paid for her lessons while she sat around the house not bothering to get a job. He's even paid for a house for her and her boyfriend to live in but the minute anything goes wrong she's running back to daddy for money and they constantly give in to her and put up with her foot stomping. She's a total spoiled brat and yet her parents are so nice.

However just being nice doesn't make you a good parent. Kids need tough love and Helen has obviously not had any. Compare her with someone like Charlie who's more streetwise and grown up and a mother herself. Helen is a child in comparison and it's all because she's been allowed to be. Blame the parents.

Some kids seem to think that being disciplined and not being allowed to get what they want is a form of 'bullying'. So many kids these days are so pandered to and sheltered by their parents that the minute the slightest thing happens or someone calls them a nasty word they can't cope, break down in floods of tears and go running back to mummy and daddy.

Worrying things is, these kids will be parents themselves one day and all the bad habits and lazy parenting gets passed down the generation and in years to come when the kids are having issues they'll wonder where everything went wrong.

i agree with you. whatever one thinks about helen, to ridicule her parents (who never asked to be scrutinised in this way by the public) seems terribly unfair. and call them 'wet lettuces' , a 'right dozy twonk' based on a few minutes of tv footage?
anyway, as we've all raised perfect children, we have every right to point out their failings.

I do think her parents have to accept some of the blame they did bring her up after all but obviously working on a set of a TV show since she was a child will also have had an effect on her.

Her Mum was all about herself , poor me poor me I had to suffer reading the papers and then had to go out to the garage and show your poor Dad .

Nobody forced them to go on tv to grab their 15 minutes of fame not to mention get a free holiday from it. They didn't have to go to the media shouting their mouths off sticking up for their daughter's pathetic behaviour they could have just ignored it or took it on the chin like adults but no, lets pander to my daughter's crybaby attitude and blame everyone else and get everyone to feel sorry for us. Lets go crying to the media and get lots of attention.

The minute they put themselves out there and made their opinions open for all to hear, they put themselves up for scrunity. Sorry but if Helen was my daughter I'd be embarrassed how she's turned out to be a pathetic crybaby and you can't blame anyone else but the parents for condoning it and allowing her to be like this. They all need to get a grip and grow up.

The apple never falls far from the tree, does it?

I was just thinking I wonder just how much choice she had when she first started TV work you will find a lot of child actors are often pushed into it by their parents or at least one of them and not to stereotype but from the TV shows I have watched on child stars ect it's more often the Mum than the Dad who often just goes along with it for a quite life

Quite right. People who push their kids on the stage and sign them up for drama courses and agencies at a young age are doing it for themselves not for their children. They love the reflected glory if their child is lucky enough to be picked for anything (and most casting is done on looks). Having met some of these parents I can tell you that this is definitely true. They are usually people who wish that they had opportunties for stardom when they were young. There are very few children desperate to do drama from a young age that are not influenced by the desires of their parents.

Never understood people who like to boast or take credit for their child or even grandchild's career. It's like they are trying to boast off to make up for their own failings in life.

My Auntie is forever bragging about how successful her grandson is. 'Yeah but YOUR not though are you?' It may be her relation but it's not her that's made him successful is it?

I agree to a point but it takes a lot of very hard work to raise a child and get him to the point of being an independent adult .Yes his success is his but his upbringing helped form him to be who he is .

Yeah but you don't extend that to grandkids do you? As a parent I regularly hear grandparents boasting about their grandkids either how clever they are or how well they've done in their exams or the fact they've just got into a top uni etc. I don't like to hear bragging full stop but when people do it on other people's behalf it just makes them look ridiculous like they're desperate to take credit for something.

Pushy parents who like to take all the credit for their kids career/accademics, I wonder how many would be so quick to take credit for their failings when their child ends up on drugs or with mental issues due to being pressured by their pushy parents who are leading their failed lives out through the forced success of their little darlings.

It was revealing that pretty much the first thing Helen's mother said to her was that the press had "all been about you". Clearly music to Helen's ears (and quite revealing about the important things in that family's life) - until the penny finally dropped. And at the end of it all Helen said the whole experience had made her realise that she "needs to spend more time with" her parents. It's another world ...

Well your post mentioned your children so I was answering that .All I know is my Mum is hugely proud of all her grandchildren .She takes no credit as such .

It's true that parents have a huge influence on the way their offspring turn out. However, you have to remember that the parents are also a product of their own parents' upbringing. So you have an infinite regress, with each generation blaming the one before for their shortcomings.

I watched it too and thought it was really stupid of her mum to say "The headline are you're the most hated celebrity ever!". Who wouldn't be upset by that?

But she's an adult so she's in charge of her own life now; or at least she would be had her parents tought her to be independent and not a whingey little mummy's girl.

As soon as my son is old enough I'm sending him out to get a part time job even if it's volunteering or a paper round. I want him to have his own money and save up for things so he will learn the value of money, the value of having a job but more than anything, to learn to be independent and if he doesn't like it, it's tough. We all have things in life we have to do but not necessarily like it. I'll still be here to support him but I wont pander to any moans and cries of 'I don't want to do it anymore.' He will thank me for it one day when he's a mature adult standing on his own two feet with his his own home and family.

You get nowhere by doing everything for your kids and giving into them and playing up to cries for attention. I might sound harsh but you only make a rod for your own back. Tough love is the best way.

From what I've seen of Helen's parents they seem to play up to her cries for attention and give in to her and try to justify her pathetic behavior by sticking up for her when what they should be doing is giving her a wake up call. The minute all the campmates gave her a reality check and decided they weren't putting up with it anymore, her attitude soon changed but in the outside world she's not gonna change while her parents keep pandering to her. If you let people like this get away with behaving the way they do or play up their cries for attention, they will never change.

Well bully for you .
We all choose what we feel is best for our children and how it suits the whole family . I choose my way , you choose yours .But I would never pontificate at you to do it my way and claim it to be the best

I never told anyone they should do it my way and how everyone should listen to me. I just said that's how I will bring my son up and I feel tough love is best for me and my family.

If others want to take the soft approach then that's up to them. Just don't whinge about where it all went wrong when you screw up and your child is running rings around you.

I do think that there has to be a line of course you can't be to soft I've seen what happens when you do and it's not nice and the kids grow up to be little SOB's on the other hand if you are to tough on them they can grow up resenting you and will be gone as soon as they can and not wish to have much or anything to do with you.

Well read your post again and the part where you wrote tough love is the best way .I dont see any part that says for your family .
My grown up children are delightful , kind , pleasant , helpful and successful . I did it my way .