Secret Santa in TV land:
"Here you are, BBC1, here's your Christmas present from us"
BBC1 excitedly opens the gift then gives an excited gasp.
"The Spice Girls' Story: Viva Forever. Why, thank you, ITV1, it's just what we wanted. A flopzone Tuesday programme on primetime Christmas Eve. Unbelievably generous."
"Well, our friends the Advertisers tend to go away for the festive season after over-exciting themselves with I'm A Celebrity, Downton and The X Factor in the autumn, so we,re not really into Christmas. We'll make a bit of an effort to join in by sticking Downton on on Christmas Day, but mainly we think Christmas is for others. So we thought we'd put a 90 minute documentary on on Christmas Eve that's going to appeal to absolutely no-one. No-one over 55 will want to watch it apart from the Spice Girls' mums and even all those who were wildly into Girl Power 16 years ago won't be particularly interestes. They'll have much better things to do on Christmas Eve - like watching Eastenders and Outnumbered. Merry Christmas, BBC1."
The BBC have decided not to screen a trailer for Outnumbered this year. They've decided it would be more effective to show the trailer for The Spice Girls Story instead.