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Old 05-01-2013, 10:47
grotbags1
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Hello everyone

After my meltdown at Christmas I have decided to try online dating again. EHarmony have got an offer on for 3 months for the price of one which can cancelled within 7 days if one isn't happy with it.

Has anyone tried this site and if so, what do you think of it?

I have so far tried Match, POF and Oasis, I no longer have an account of any of them as I got fed up of seeing the same faces and reading the same old dross on profiles. I'm thinking eHarmony might be a bit different?

Thanks for any help!
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Old 05-01-2013, 10:58
Christian_Grey
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A woman I work with tried this site last year and was very unimpressed. She said they don't match you using your criteria, because she was getting random suggestions outside of her age bracket, location that she had set etc and because you can't search yourself and are relying on the matches they send you, it was a bit useless. She instead went to match where she met her now boyfriend.
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Old 05-01-2013, 10:59
Christian_Grey
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A woman I work with tried this site last year and was very unimpressed. She said they don't match you using your criteria, because she was getting random suggestions outside of her age bracket, location that she had set etc and because you can't search yourself and are relying on the matches they send you, it was a bit useless. She instead went to match where she met her now boyfriend.
Edit; I see you've tried match.
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Old 05-01-2013, 11:14
grotbags1
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A woman I work with tried this site last year and was very unimpressed. She said they don't match you using your criteria, because she was getting random suggestions outside of her age bracket, location that she had set etc and because you can't search yourself and are relying on the matches they send you, it was a bit useless. She instead went to match where she met her now boyfriend.
Hi, thanks for the info. I think I'd get frustrated with not being able to search then. I will see if Match have any offers on and perhaps try that again
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Old 05-01-2013, 13:18
solarflare
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I'm going to suggest it might really depend where you live.

You fill out a fairly lengthy form where you essentially try to quantify your personality and then they use that to "scientifically" match you with other people. It may well be a good approach but my own experience is that you are filtering out an awful lot of people from a "portfolio" you'd probably think was smaller than match.com's to begin with.

So if you live in London, say, then you can probably get away a lot more with filtering out lots of people on the basis of personality matching, but if you live somewhere a bit more rural with a smaller number of potential matches then you probably can't afford to ignore most of them based on nothing more than a slightly "wooly" survey of your traits (although I'm sure they think the science behind it is great, ultimately you need more people to have more chance of contact).

I filled in the form and even though I'm not that far away from Glasgow, I got 7 matches, which isn't really worth paying up for to explore (especially as you need to pay to see their photos). Maybe they send you more matches once you've paid, but I was a bit skeptical and on balance would probably prefer to look through a larger amount of profiles and make my own judgement on who was interesting to me and not what the computer says I should like in theory.
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Old 05-01-2013, 13:18
LilAngel
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A woman I work with tried this site last year and was very unimpressed. She said they don't match you using your criteria, because she was getting random suggestions outside of her age bracket, location that she had set etc and because you can't search yourself and are relying on the matches they send you, it was a bit useless. She instead went to match where she met her now boyfriend.
This woman might be giving you hearsay. You most certainly can search for your own matches. I did, and I'm now in a successful nine-month old relationship with my boyfriend.
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Old 05-01-2013, 13:19
Christian_Grey
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This woman might be giving you hearsay. You most certainly can search for your own matches. I did, and I'm now in a successful nine-month old relationship with my boyfriend.
That's great. But she did it about a year or so ago. She also said they 'match' with all sorts of random criteria and as someone above mentions, compared to match, there weren't many people in her area, hence why they matched her with randoms miles outside of her location.
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Old 05-01-2013, 13:29
solarflare
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This woman might be giving you hearsay. You most certainly can search for your own matches. I did, and I'm now in a successful nine-month old relationship with my boyfriend.
I didn't know that, although as I said I never paid up on the limited matches I was given. Maybe it works better in practice than in principle though!
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Old 05-01-2013, 13:57
Shappy
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I tried eharmony and couldn't search - but I was an unpaid member so perhaps the search option only becomes available once you pay up.

I found the site overly complicated as you have to answer a whole lot of questions about yourself before you can even find out about who the computer thinks you should date.

I think the concept of a computer generated match based on some form you've filled out (which people probably aren't honest on anyway) is very fallible.

On a site like match, you can have a browse of the profiles, and just contact people that spark your interest. It all comes down to the chemistry you have when you meet in person anyway, so any "matching" before then is random anyway.
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Old 05-01-2013, 14:12
Dawn Sun
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I tried eHarmony and found it to be the worst dating site by far.

You have to answer a lot of questions, then the site will decide who you should date!

Last year I randomly met a guy via another site and we were a pretty poor match for each other on the face of it, but we had the best times! So now I don't give much credence to answering questions and being 'matched' with 'suitable' people. All dating sites do it to some degree but eHarmony was the worst for it I found.
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Old 06-01-2013, 20:39
grotbags1
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Thanks everyone! I'm definitely not going to subscribe.

Not sure what to do next, I think I'll carry on being single for a little while longer.
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Old 07-01-2013, 19:23
alfster
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Not heard good things about it and judging by the people they have on the adverts I'd never use it as they look like people I'd want to punch after just a few minutes with them...man or woman...

OKCupid is a free one which also has a good question and answer section where you can answer yes no questions then qualify that answer with some text.

I've not used it but a friend has and got some successful dates on it.

I'm thinking about using it...because I'm sad and lonely...just me and my bottle of Chablis..hello friend...slurp...
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Old 07-01-2013, 22:12
Woofy
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I paid to join eHarmony last year and felt it was the biggest waste of money ever. I've now setup a profile on match.com and considering whether to pay to join that one as I've become disheartened by my eHarmony experience.
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Old 08-01-2013, 08:17
grotbags1
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Not heard good things about it and judging by the people they have on the adverts I'd never use it as they look like people I'd want to punch after just a few minutes with them...man or woman...

OKCupid is a free one which also has a good question and answer section where you can answer yes no questions then qualify that answer with some text.

I've not used it but a friend has and got some successful dates on it.

I'm thinking about using it...because I'm sad and lonely...just me and my bottle of Chablis..hello friend...slurp...
Aww don't be sad and lonely. I'm giving dating sites a rest of a wee while but will have a look at OKCupid when I'm ready to get back to it.

I'm not that flush at the moment now I'm single income and don't want to waste money with Match again.
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Old 08-01-2013, 08:53
SupernovaNebula
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Make sure if you do join you ring eharmony to cancel as it rolls over even if you delete your card details off the website. They did give me a partial refund.

I tried a few other websites too many years ago and gave up completely.. Eharmony was fantastic but I would say that as I met my husband on there. I spoke to a a couple of men and met just him and we hit it off. I got an offer on eharmony too and best thing I ever did. What have you got to lose. You only need to meet one man!
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Old 08-01-2013, 08:56
grotbags1
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Make sure if you do join you ring eharmony to cancel as it rolls over even if you delete your card details off the website. They did give me a partial refund.

I tried a few other websites too many years ago and gave up completely.. Eharmony was fantastic but I would say that as I met my husband on there. I spoke to a a couple of men and met just him and we hit it off. I got an offer on eharmony too and best thing I ever did. What have you got to lose. You only need to meet one man!
Wow Supernova - that's amazing There's hope for us yet.

Re the money Match did that as well, I only signed up for one month and they kept taking money off me for another couple of months but I disputed it thru paypal and got it back. I didn't realise that you needed to cancel the account at the end of the first month subsription.
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Old 08-01-2013, 08:57
SupernovaNebula
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I paid to join eHarmony last year and felt it was the biggest waste of money ever. I've now setup a profile on match.com and considering whether to pay to join that one as I've become disheartened by my eHarmony experience.
Was it all the stupid questions? My husband and I didn't bother with them. He asked if I'd like to speak with him and that was a relief as it saved us wasting time answering stupid questions we choose for each other and writing lots if stupid long emails. I don't like writing emails as it doesn't sound anything like me.
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Old 08-01-2013, 09:02
SupernovaNebula
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Wow Supernova - that's amazing There's hope for us yet. .
There definitely is hope . I always thought I was going to die a spinster never having a proper relationship or tasting married life. I did nearly not see him on the third date as I got cold feet and wasn't sure but I went for it and I'm so glad I put myself out there. I know it's not easy and it wasn't for my husband as he had been divorced, he has a high profile job so i would never have met him in day to day life but thanks to eharmony we did.
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Old 08-01-2013, 09:14
turquoiseblue
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Have you tried datingdirect?
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Old 08-01-2013, 09:16
grotbags1
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Have you tried datingdirect?
No, haven't tried that one, would you recommend it?

Edited to add, just tried to sign up and it says that my email address already belongs to a member which I thought can't be possible. It looks very similar to the Match sign up screen, in fact it must be part of Match as it's let me login without having to register and has picked up my profile picture and everything from Match.

Last edited by grotbags1 : 08-01-2013 at 09:22. Reason: More info added
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Old 08-01-2013, 09:56
mourinhosmissus
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I joined e-Harmony for free about 3 or so years ago but I really only did it just to see who they'd match me up with - I had no intention of taking it any further.

Anyway, after spending ages completing the application, I got a message saying that they had no matches for me! I was a bit miffed because when they sent me the results of my profile, I sounded bloody fantastic! Actually, I wasn't that miffed really, I found it quite amusing.

A few weeks later, a male friend was round at mine and I bullied him into filling out an application for himself and we said 'wouldn't it be funny if they matched us with each other?' but he got the very same message as me - no match!

Now, either we're a pair of freaks or they just don't bother if you try to register for free.

Out of curiosity, I logged on to their website over the weekend to see whether I was still classed as a freak and sure enough, no matches.

I don't really know what that says about me.
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Old 08-01-2013, 10:08
grotbags1
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I only got two matches and it annoys me the way their adverts says "Review your matches for free", well you can't see profile pics unless you suscribe.
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Old 08-01-2013, 10:26
Rowieboy
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Rubbish site! I kept getting matches that were hundreds of miles from me. I would not endorse it!
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Old 08-01-2013, 10:35
adodie
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I joined e-Harmony for free about 3 or so years ago but I really only did it just to see who they'd match me up with - I had no intention of taking it any further.

Anyway, after spending ages completing the application, I got a message saying that they had no matches for me! I was a bit miffed because when they sent me the results of my profile, I sounded bloody fantastic! Actually, I wasn't that miffed really, I found it quite amusing.

A few weeks later, a male friend was round at mine and I bullied him into filling out an application for himself and we said 'wouldn't it be funny if they matched us with each other?' but he got the very same message as me - no match!

Now, either we're a pair of freaks or they just don't bother if you try to register for free.

Out of curiosity, I logged on to their website over the weekend to see whether I was still classed as a freak and sure enough, no matches.

I don't really know what that says about me.
Don't worry you aren't the biggest freak. I filled it all out about 4 years ago to try it and got no matches. So i changed my area to the whole UK and still got no matches!
I did wonder if there was anyone in the whole world who could match me but they didn't have that option.

Turns out there was someone who lived 2 miles away from me who i matched but i met her in that real world

DatingDirect is now pretty much Match. I always preferred datingdirect and went on lots of dates with them but i think match assimilated them.

A site like Match is more fun than eharmony as you can find some very different people from yourself who turn out to be pretty perfect match.
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Old 08-01-2013, 11:07
MsQuincy
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EHarmony have got an offer on for 3 months for the price of one which can cancelled within 7 days if one isn't happy with it.
Could you tell me where this offer is available? Is it on eHarmony's front page at the moment?

My experiences of *other* friends who have met thru dating sites -- I know 3 couples who have met through 3 of the main dating sites:

-- one thru e-Harmony
-- one thru Match.com
-- one thru Guardian Soulmates

Despite all the various negative things said about all the various dating sites, I think to some extent it does depend a bit on luck and being "in the right place at the right time" when YOUR own particular soulmate happens to be on THAT particular dating site at the same time.

Hmmmmm .......?

I am debating taking out membership of e-Harmony or Match as I am currently on one of the (many) White Label dating sites and not meeting the kind of men I really would like to meet.

GROTBAGS: even if you are not going to sign up to eHarmony I would be very grateful for any info about the eHarmoney "3 months for the price of 1" offer !!!

Ta
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