Digital Spy

Search Digital Spy
 

DS Forums

 
 

eHarmony


Reply
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 09-01-2013, 15:35
Shappy
Forum Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: By the window
Posts: 11,137
If he's a city lawyer it sounds like a fair reason.
Yes, that's why I'm reluctant to date these "high flyers" who work long hours: their work always comes first. Anyway, one cancellation I can take, but two and I'm out.

Will see what happens Friday.
Shappy is offline   Reply With Quote
Please sign in or register to remove this advertisement.
Old 09-01-2013, 15:52
Xela M
Forum Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 3,397
Yes, that's why I'm reluctant to date these "high flyers" who work long hours: their work always comes first. Anyway, one cancellation I can take, but two and I'm out.

Will see what happens Friday.
Are you sure he's really a lawyer? Do you know the firm he works for? Have you looked him up on their website? If he is telling the truth, his salary would make up for all the long hours
Xela M is offline Follow this poster on Twitter   Reply With Quote
Old 09-01-2013, 16:09
SupernovaNebula
Forum Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Leicestershire
Posts: 1,065
Aww, your story has really lifted me!

I'm going on a date tomorrow evening with someone I met online. We have swapped a few emails and spoken on the phone once and have decided to meet for a quick coffee after work. It's good because, like me, he believes in getting to a face-to-face meeting as quickly as possible. I'm still very nervous as he's a city lawyer and am worried he will be picky. I think I need to work on my confidence!

I joined match.com and ended up getting contacted by a lot of men in their mid forties in Wales (I'm early 30s and live in London!). Most of the men I winked at never responded. I cancelled my subscription recently.
I did as you're planning and also met up for a coffee. Have an excuse ready if he's not what you'd hoped for and need to depart quickly. My husband and I wanted to meet quickly too as it saves time on silly emails which don't amount to much.

Don't worry about lawyers, they're not all that they make themselves out to be. I've met plenty of them through my husband line of work. I would never have met my husband had he put his real job title down, it would have made me feel as you are feeling now.

Don't worry, just think of it as a informal chat with someone nice and relax and enjoy it for what it is, a simple coffee and nothing more.

Let us know how the date goes, I sincerely hope it goes well, fingers crossed. My husand lacked a little confidence in the dating game plus he found me hard to read and couldn't tell either way if I liked him. I made it easy for him by helping him along when he asked me if i'd like to meet up for dinner. My younger sister told me some men need a little help and encouragement and her advice paid off
SupernovaNebula is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-01-2013, 16:10
SupernovaNebula
Forum Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Leicestershire
Posts: 1,065
Are you sure he's really a lawyer? Do you know the firm he works for? Have you looked him up on their website? If he is telling the truth, his salary would make up for all the long hours
Has he given her reason to doubt him.....
SupernovaNebula is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-01-2013, 16:13
SupernovaNebula
Forum Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Leicestershire
Posts: 1,065
Yes, that's why I'm reluctant to date these "high flyers" who work long hours: their work always comes first. Anyway, one cancellation I can take, but two and I'm out.

Will see what happens Friday.
My husband works long hours but having a husband I see some of the time is better than not having a husband at all and it's a good compromise as I enjoy my own company and space. I suppose we all have different needs and wants. I was 36 when I met, nearly 40 now. If it can work for me on a dating website it can work for you or anyone really. Go with an open mind.
SupernovaNebula is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-01-2013, 16:13
Xela M
Forum Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 3,397
Has he given her reason to doubt him.....
I'm not saying he's lying, but it's very easy to verify whether someone is a lawyer. Anyone can claim to be anything on the Internet.
Xela M is offline Follow this poster on Twitter   Reply With Quote
Old 09-01-2013, 16:28
Shappy
Forum Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: By the window
Posts: 11,137
Are you sure he's really a lawyer? Do you know the firm he works for? Have you looked him up on their website? If he is telling the truth, his salary would make up for all the long hours
I found him on Linkedin and his law firm website when we first started chatting. He's a solicitor at one of the Magic Circle law firms so I imagine he earns lots and lots of money. I find this off-putting - I didn't know he was a solicitor when I first contacted him online or I probably wouldn't have. When he mentioned his profession, he didn't say which firm he works for, so it's not like he has been boasting about it or anything; I did the digging on my own!

I did as you're planning and also met up for a coffee. Have an excuse ready if he's not what you'd hoped for and need to depart quickly. My husband and I wanted to meet quickly too as it saves time on silly emails which don't amount to much.

Don't worry about lawyers, they're not all that they make themselves out to be. I've met plenty of them through my husband line of work. I would never have met my husband had he put his real job title down, it would have made me feel as you are feeling now.

Don't worry, just think of it as a informal chat with someone nice and relax and enjoy it for what it is, a simple coffee and nothing more.

Let us know how the date goes, I sincerely hope it goes well, fingers crossed. My husand lacked a little confidence in the dating game plus he found me hard to read and couldn't tell either way if I liked him. I made it easy for him by helping him along when he asked me if i'd like to meet up for dinner. My younger sister told me some men need a little help and encouragement and her advice paid off
Thanks for your encouragement! I will try to keep an open mind.
Shappy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-01-2013, 16:34
Xela M
Forum Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 3,397
I found him on Linkedin and his law firm website when we first started chatting. He's a solicitor at one of the Magic Circle law firms so I imagine he earns lots and lots of money. I find this off-putting - I didn't know he was a solicitor when I first contacted him online or I probably wouldn't have. When he mentioned his profession, he didn't say which firm he works for, so it's not like he has been boasting about it or anything; I did the digging on my own!
I know what Magic Circle firms are and that's amazing! If you don't like him, send him to me Honestly, you should not miss out on dating one of the "fat cats". They earn astronomical sums of money.
Xela M is offline Follow this poster on Twitter   Reply With Quote
Old 09-01-2013, 16:37
grotbags1
Forum Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Somewhere
Posts: 1,319
I want to date a fat cat
grotbags1 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-01-2013, 16:37
SupernovaNebula
Forum Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Leicestershire
Posts: 1,065
I know what Magic Circle firms are and that's amazing! If you don't like him, send him to me Honestly, you should not miss out on dating one of the "fat cats". They earn astronomical sums of money.
Having an excellent job, and lots of wealth doesn't mean he will automically be cultured and pleasant human being or be interesting. Remember nice men don't always drive nice cars.

One woman my husband met turning him down when she asked what he drove. The garage had given him a Ford Mondeo as a courtesy car and it came out of his mouth and his dates eyes glazed over and she left in the next 5 minutes!
SupernovaNebula is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-01-2013, 16:39
Shappy
Forum Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: By the window
Posts: 11,137
I know what Magic Circle firms are and that's amazing! If you don't like him, send him to me Honestly, you should not miss out on dating one of the "fat cats". They earn astronomical sums of money.
I want to date a fat cat
Well if he cancels on me on Friday, perhaps I can direct him to this thread and all of you can have a go.

I usually go for the poor, dreamer types, and I'm a really laid-back, non-high maintenance type of girl so never been attracted to the high earners.
Shappy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-01-2013, 16:39
Xela M
Forum Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 3,397
Having an excellent job, and lots of wealth doesn't mean he will automically be cultured and pleasant human being or be interesting. Remember nice men don't always drive nice cars.

One woman my husband met turning him down when she asked what he drove. The garage had given him a Ford Mondeo as a courtesy car and it came out of his mouth and his dates eyes glazed over and she left in the next 5 minutes!
Yeah yeah.. he had to sell his soul to the devil to get a job at a Magic Circle firm! Seriously, you have to be "special" to get a job there.
Xela M is offline Follow this poster on Twitter   Reply With Quote
Old 09-01-2013, 16:41
Xela M
Forum Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 3,397
Well if he cancels on me on Friday, perhaps I can direct him to this thread and all of you can have a go.

I usually go for the poor, dreamer types, and I'm a really laid-back, non-high maintenance type of girl so never been attracted to the high earners.
Me too which is why I'm advising you to go for a fat cat instead!
Xela M is offline Follow this poster on Twitter   Reply With Quote
Old 09-01-2013, 16:43
grotbags1
Forum Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Somewhere
Posts: 1,319
Having an excellent job, and lots of wealth doesn't mean he will automically be cultured and pleasant human being or be interesting. Remember nice men don't always drive nice cars.

One woman my husband met turning him down when she asked what he drove. The garage had given him a Ford Mondeo as a courtesy car and it came out of his mouth and his dates eyes glazed over and she left in the next 5 minutes!
Does your husband have any work pals who are looking for a lady?
grotbags1 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-01-2013, 16:56
hotmat3k
Forum Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Posts: 1,319
I've only just personally started the online dating thing again (26, Male). Tried Match (where I met my ex from hell) and got nowhere with eHarmony. However, my flatmate last year encouraged me to signup to mysinglefriend.com. Very simple site, and you actually have to get your friend to write your profile. Very nice way to take the pressure off selling yourself and letting someone you know sell you to others. You can also add a reply once they've submitted your profile. I really recommend it!

I did a 3 month stint last year, got nowhere. Paid for another 3 months just before Christmas and just started to see an amazing girl from the same area I moved to in London and she checks out to be who she says she is (from a light search on linkedin!). Going on a second date this Friday after a successful first coffee date on Sunday. Three continous hours of chatting! Must mean something as we did find a lot in common and fancy her bucketloads!

Don't give up people. It's all about patience and being at the right time and place. For both genders, just don't send over-the-top with messages with countless text. Keep to short paragraphs when sending initial messages and always add something related to their profile. Then just invest as much as the other person does. After a string of 4 or 5 e-mail's I went in and asked if we could meet up. Got her number and has gone on from there. There's always someone for everyone!
hotmat3k is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-01-2013, 10:19
Shappy
Forum Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: By the window
Posts: 11,137
Well done hotmat3k - please keep us updated on how the second date goes!

The lawyer and I have now rearranged with specific plans for tomorrow evening. I hope he turns up. I can't help but feel a bit excited as this is my first date since October.

I am also emailing another guy and may speak to him on the phone this weekend so trying not to put all my eggs in one basket.
Shappy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-01-2013, 10:33
grotbags1
Forum Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Somewhere
Posts: 1,319
Well done hotmat3k - please keep us updated on how the second date goes!

The lawyer and I have now rearranged with specific plans for tomorrow evening. I hope he turns up. I can't help but feel a bit excited as this is my first date since October.

I am also emailing another guy and may speak to him on the phone this weekend so trying not to put all my eggs in one basket.
ooo great news Shappy! Of course he will turn up I would be excited too.
grotbags1 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-01-2013, 11:05
hotmat3k
Forum Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Posts: 1,319
Well done hotmat3k - please keep us updated on how the second date goes!

The lawyer and I have now rearranged with specific plans for tomorrow evening. I hope he turns up. I can't help but feel a bit excited as this is my first date since October.

I am also emailing another guy and may speak to him on the phone this weekend so trying not to put all my eggs in one basket.
Thanks Shappy! It's been a long time and never felt so excited to be dating again. I had a small episode with a girl from work, but nothing came of it at the end of last year. I think she tried to let me down indirectly rather than being honest (even though we hit it off very quickly and well).

If this lawyer is a decent man, he'll turn up . Don't fall out of touch with this other guy you're e-mailing. This date may turn out to go well, but you may not have any chemistry. Just go in with no expectations and see what happens.

Keep us updated, and I'll post this weekend on how this second date goes. Taking her to a wicked bowling place.
hotmat3k is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-01-2013, 11:20
grotbags1
Forum Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Somewhere
Posts: 1,319
hotmak3 I'm interested to know about your 2nd date as well, I'm excited for you.

I will log on over the weekend to see how both you and Shappy get on
grotbags1 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-01-2013, 11:29
Shappy
Forum Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: By the window
Posts: 11,137
If this lawyer is a decent man, he'll turn up . Don't fall out of touch with this other guy you're e-mailing. This date may turn out to go well, but you may not have any chemistry. Just go in with no expectations and see what happens.
Really good advice, I have just texted the other guy about catching up on the phone sometime. He asked me to give him a ring whenever I am free but I have let it slip a bit this week as I was thinking about the lawyer. I think I will feel much better on the date on Friday if I know he is not my only option so will do my best to keep things going with both even though I hate multi-dating!

I will log on over the weekend to see how both you and Shappy get on
Thanks for starting this thread! It's a great place to share stories.
Shappy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-01-2013, 11:43
NirvanaGirl
Forum Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Fangirling next to Darth Vader
Posts: 2,277
For what its worth my sister met her husband through EHarmony. They got married last Feb & are blissfully happy.

They're both high flyers in their chosen industries as well & would never have met without the site.
NirvanaGirl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-01-2013, 11:48
grotbags1
Forum Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Somewhere
Posts: 1,319
For what its worth my sister met her husband through EHarmony. They got married last Feb & are blissfully happy.

They're both high flyers in their chosen industries as well & would never have met without the site.
It is good to hear another success story

Shappy - I wish I had a story to share but as I'm currently not on any dating sites it's to be expected that I don't have any dates lined up! But I like hearing other peoples stories
grotbags1 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-01-2013, 11:49
hotmat3k
Forum Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Posts: 1,319
hotmak3 I'm interested to know about your 2nd date as well, I'm excited for you.

I will log on over the weekend to see how both you and Shappy get on
Thanks grotbags! Dating and relationships don't come naturally (being autistic!), but as with my philosophy in life; I won't get anywhere if I don't try and build up new experiences. This girl I'm starting to date is Scottish. Never ever really considered Scottish girls being my type but I got proven wrong on the first date.

Really good advice, I have just texted the other guy about catching up on the phone sometime. He asked me to give him a ring whenever I am free but I have let it slip a bit this week as I was thinking about the lawyer. I think I will feel much better on the date on Friday if I know he is not my only option so will do my best to keep things going with both even though I hate multi-dating!
It's good to keep your options open. Even with this guy you've let slip a little, us guys like a little bit of suspense and wait if it's right. To keep in touch but not overly commit is good. You can always make it up in a date if this first guy doesn't work out. Just don't make the whole dating thing scientific. Just go with your gut instinct and do things as you would with anyone else. Good luck!
hotmat3k is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-01-2013, 12:00
Shappy
Forum Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: By the window
Posts: 11,137
Did any of you watch that show "The Undatables" on TV? Not that I am implying anything about us! Anyway, I thought it was a really sweet show and it gave me lots of positive feelings.
Shappy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-01-2013, 12:31
hotmat3k
Forum Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Posts: 1,319
Did any of you watch that show "The Undatables" on TV? Not that I am implying anything about us! Anyway, I thought it was a really sweet show and it gave me lots of positive feelings.
I did! I could really relate to the Autistic guy as I kind of had the same attitude in my teens towards others. Not as severe, but could understand totally what he'd been feeling.

Unfortunately, people's perceptions are that they should aim high for looks and really fake things that have no afliction on love and feelings at all. It's good that they're showing that not everyone is shallow and that it's possible for anyone to fall in love. That's what makes us human I suppose.
hotmat3k is offline   Reply With Quote
 
Reply



Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

 
Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 01:52.