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Liz Jones - YOU magazine (Part 4)


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Old 29-09-2014, 19:17
BellaFiga
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I just read the gastropub rubbish. Are we seriously expected to believe LJ worked in a pub kitchen aged 11? My brother was born a couple of years before her and he sort of dropped out of school aged about 13. Even at that age it was highly illegal for him to be working (although he did). I find it most unlikely that LJ would have been scullery-maiding at the age of 11, unless she was born in 1858 and not 1958.
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Old 29-09-2014, 19:36
serenity2012
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If Liz did slave in a pub kitchen at 11 we would have heard about before now-is it in the book? I cannot imagine an 11 year old declaring that she would not wash plates contaminated by animal products, certainly not in the 1970's.

As to the review, why would a "recovering" anorexic "vegan" want to visit a gastropub and put away three courses plus vino? Is that really the price a single diner would pay? I certainly couldn't afford to eat there at those prices!
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Old 29-09-2014, 19:44
BellaFiga
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The vegan who in this gastric pub eats cheese souffle and ice cream. Like most of her self-description, it doesn't seem to be that accurate.
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Old 30-09-2014, 01:16
Suzy_Cat
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I missed this one!

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/ar...-Prosecco.html

So, with one hand she pleads poverty and with the other, derides both women who use fish pedicures at spas and those with badly home-dyed hair. So we can't win.

Also, it's been some time since I lived in London, but just over 100 pound for four days, presumably not including accommodation due to ownership of cupboards/access to boyfriend's flat, seems entirely doable to me. Especially if you famously starve yourself. And even more especially if you famously have a gluten-free baker boyfriend right there in London who makes you meals. What IS she babbling about?
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Old 30-09-2014, 01:25
Suzy_Cat
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I cannot imagine an 11 year old declaring that she would not wash plates contaminated by animal products, certainly not in the 1970's.
I can - my friend did, but that would have been in the late 70s. I can imagine someone sneaking a family friend's kid into the kitchen to earn a few quid back then, even though it is, as you say, illegal.
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Old 30-09-2014, 09:34
mourinhosmissus
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I missed this one!

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/ar...-Prosecco.html

So, with one hand she pleads poverty and with the other, derides both women who use fish pedicures at spas and those with badly home-dyed hair. So we can't win.

Also, it's been some time since I lived in London, but just over 100 pound for four days, presumably not including accommodation due to ownership of cupboards/access to boyfriend's flat, seems entirely doable to me. Especially if you famously starve yourself. And even more especially if you famously have a gluten-free baker boyfriend right there in London who makes you meals. What IS she babbling about?
Their 'badly home-dyed hair' looked in much better nick than her expensive salon-dyed haystack.
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Old 30-09-2014, 09:50
Fatsia
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Their 'badly home-dyed hair' looked in much better nick than her expensive salon-dyed haystack.
I presume that 'expensive salon-dyed haystack' is a typo for 'midnight storm hair'?
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Old 30-09-2014, 11:06
mourinhosmissus
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I presume that 'expensive salon-dyed haystack' is a typo for 'midnight storm hair'?
Oops, silly me. How could I get it so wrong?
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Old 02-10-2014, 16:11
CollieComber
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Afternoon all. I've tried to dredge up a bit of comment about Worzel's drabbage over the last couple of weeks... but it's just so unspeakably dull I'm not sure I can be arsed most of the time. I presume she read one or two comments about how nobody cares about the dirty baker and can she talk about the animals more... and so we have a horse related dreary (with Nic sleeping in the stable. Again [a shoo-in for the Nativity this year!].) which will, amazingly, resolve itself positively (the horse got better). Again, an animal suffers at her hands and we are expected to feel pity.

The sooner the truth about her Godforsaken existence becomes more widely known (the numbers of staff for a start!) the sooner the whole ridiculous farrago will grind to a halt. Btw... that restaurant review? How utterly without talent was that? Pffft.
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Old 05-10-2014, 16:12
Fatsia
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So nobody has anything to say about the Dreary today then. Perhaps we could have a whip-round for the frugal woman who spends £200 on food she doesn't eat (half an avocado, anyone?) but only has one pair of socks. And two pairs of dry-clean-only pants.

How about the fantastic advice that we should all be more selfish? Something Liz has perfected.

***tumbleweed***
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Old 05-10-2014, 17:26
amikolaichek
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What CAN one say, Fatsia? It's cruel to mock the afflicted. However, one must ponder on the sanity of the MoS, still permitting the Lizard to continue writing this garbage. (Now off to count my socks ....)
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Old 05-10-2014, 17:48
puffin1962
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She really doesn't get the concept of frugality does she - £250 on food for a weekend (£200 for shopping + £50 eating out]

The she whines about "only" getting a Blackberry phone because she wanted expensive jewellery (is she still angling for an engagement ring after writing about dumping him?).
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Old 05-10-2014, 18:17
Fatsia
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What CAN one say, Fatsia? It's cruel to mock the afflicted. However, one must ponder on the sanity of the MoS, still permitting the Lizard to continue writing this garbage. (Now off to count my socks ....)
Wasn't the second farticle in their "Right Minds" section, too? Oh the irony.
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Old 05-10-2014, 19:21
purplecatz
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The vegan who in this gastric pub eats cheese souffle and ice cream. Like most of her self-description, it doesn't seem to be that accurate.
The MoS printed a sort of apology for her diabolical restaurant "review" last week - her 3 course meal cost £46 NOT £96, I thought she must have included drinks in her total
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Old 05-10-2014, 22:46
Suzy_Cat
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She really doesn't get the concept of frugality does she - £250 on food for a weekend (£200 for shopping + £50 eating out]
That was the thing that got to me as well. She spent 200 pounds on food, but they don't seem to have actually cooked or eaten very much of it. He ate a sandwich he'd brought from home, she "made pasta" (from scratch?) and then they went out to eat. If you don't intend to eat at home, don't spend a week's normal person wages on food for the weekend. If you are cutting costs and your loved one has come up for the weekend, eat at home. How is this so difficult to grasp, even for a person with only one pair of socks?

ETA: OMG I just read the "be more selfish" piece. Liz Jones giving advice on how to maintain mental health is ... well, she needs to show she's actually somewhere near achieving it first.
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Old 05-10-2014, 23:08
tk096
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Hello *waves to everyone here* have been following for a while - who can exist with one pair of socks? And two pairs of dry clean only knickers? Especially when caring for large animals?
Socks most important, obviously.
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Old 06-10-2014, 07:29
Bellagio
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So nobody has anything to say about the Dreary today then. Perhaps we could have a whip-round for the frugal woman who spends £200 on food she doesn't eat (half an avocado, anyone?) but only has one pair of socks. And two pairs of dry-clean-only pants.

How about the fantastic advice that we should all be more selfish? Something Liz has perfected.

***tumbleweed***
Was going to express my (slight) shock at how excruciatingly badly written and constructed it was but... honestly, just couldn't be arsed. Every week, it's like watching A Year In Provence : you can't believe it'll bet worse yet somehow, it does. I was being generous in considering that she was directing her best (?) efforts towards the novvul, but my personal experience is that one project tends to cross pollinate the others, and I'd expect the Dreary to get better - or at least, not worse.

I await said novvul with mounting trepidation. Actually, that's a lie, as we all know what it's going to be about, and that it's going to be the Sorriest Puddle Of Piss in the entire history of the world.
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Old 06-10-2014, 10:02
amikolaichek
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Let us, on this sombre Autumn day, spend a few moments in silent and sympathetic contemplation of the horrors endured, as part of the daily routine, by some hard-working people. Specifically, those employed in the dry cleaning establishment to which the Lizard sends her two pairs of knickers (one pair on, one pair in the tetrachloroethylene).
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Old 06-10-2014, 11:09
Suzy_Cat
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Do you think she snaps and sneers at the poor people who clean her secretions from her vegan gussets, because they don't understand that she is deaf and also, they have absolutely no understanding of organic dry cleaning techniques? I bet she does. I bet she begrudges them their minimum wage, because SHE is frugal and hardworking, unlike them with their Garnier Fructis-scented tresses.

Actually, have you noticed that for some reason, the richer someone is, the more forgiving she appears to be towards any profligacy on their part? Whereas if people are ordinary or poor, she grudges them everything.
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Old 06-10-2014, 13:05
BellaFiga
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I'm not entirely sure she has understood the meaning of the word frugal. For me, it's spinning out a bunch of mince to make at least two dinners over the weekend, and not spending TWO HUNDRED BLEDDY PAHNDS on food you don't actually eat.

And the socks thing is bolleaux of the highest order. Anyone can nip down the market and pick up five pair for three quid.
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Old 06-10-2014, 14:58
Fatsia
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The market? The MARKET? *faints clean away*
They won't stock her 9,000 thread count (organic, responsibly reared silk, spun by photogenic orphans) hand-knitted Michael Kors socks!
Don't you know who she is?
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Old 06-10-2014, 18:12
puffin1962
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Market? But where will she get the M&S organic prawns that she claims to feed her cats on?

.... and she was expecting the baker to knock up a bake-off worthy, gluen-free, vegan birthday cake in her honour in a house house that she proudly proclaims has no kitchen? (Dreary March 9th 2014)
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Old 06-10-2014, 19:29
Badcat
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So... let me get this straight...

she moaned because he got her a blackberry. She had ONLY just worked out how to use her iphone. Conclusion: she had been moaning about how difficult to was to use the iphone. He therefore got her a blackberry because for a lot of ppl in business USE a blackberry as they are easier to use. he therefore thought he was helping her as it would be easier for her to access her work, type her emails on the move and keep in touch with the business side of things, ergo stopping her moaning about her new phone.

She wanted jewellery. Men are not mindreaders. You want jewellery you have to tell them or hint everyday to them about "I'd love these earrings for my b/day".

She got him a suit for his b/day and it was expensive. She had been moaning in previous diaries how scruffy he dressed. She got him that suit because, as his sister said "she wanted him to look good on her arm". He would of most prob liked a bunch of cheap sweaters/ t shirts, some pants and socks. he would get more use out of them than a suit. He is a baker, not a banker, when will he need a fancy suit??!

She moaned about spending 200 squid on food and then he ate a sarnie. Considering she seems to live on nothing but her own whining, why spend that amount when he only there for a short while.

He didn't make her a cake. FFS.. he has been baking ALL DAY! Maybe he was tired of baking, like we are tired of her moaning. he made her dinner, that was lovely of him.

She moaned about the dust he left behind. Again... FFS.. that's hard work he was doing. he is her b/f, not a paid builder. In a partnership you share. He did her basement, she can clean up the mess and wipe down the odd door frame.

And the reason he is grumpy is more to do with her selfish me me me attitude than lack of sex. Being a moaning grumpy cow is a big turn off dear Lizard.

And... isn't she meant to be a vegan?? Or is dairy ok to eat now for vegans or those who think the manufacture of milk is cruel?
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Old 06-10-2014, 21:34
BellaFiga
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She's vegan when she feels like it. In the same way as she's deaf when it suits her. I'd go so far as to say she's anorexic when it suits her too.
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Old 07-10-2014, 15:56
Virginia Plain
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I'm not entirely sure she has understood the meaning of the word frugal. For me, it's ..... not spending TWO HUNDRED BLEDDY PAHNDS on food you don't actually eat.
.
The helpful man outside the organic pub offered LJ the opportunity to purchase a small bag of locally sourced (Camberwell), hand reared vegetables, lovingly wrapped in Rizla papers. Satisfaction guaranteed - without the after-effect of appearing to have chronic dandruff. In fact, Mumsnet can 'put this in their pipes and smoke it'.
Allegedly
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