I don't understand - not for the first time, when reading the meandering paths LJ creates - about Nic "lying". Did she not say that most posts were on DS's side? Which is true. Or have I missed something?

Not to mention shallow.
Still, this IS Liz Jones.

"Now I vote Tory because it's so unfair that I have to pay taxes on my immense earnings. How can I be expected to pay for my less-than-a-million pound home, my brand new Mercedes convertible, my spa treatments, my paid companion, gold Dunhill lighters and lightbulbs for my fiance's bathroom if I have to pay TAX?"

"It's a dirty, festering secret (that I voted Tory)" - No it isn't, you've just told the whole country about it in a national newspaper!

Awww !!! makes your heart bleed doesn't it, maybe I've been misjudging her all this time........although, hang on a minute..!

Liz explicitly stated last week that the ONLY reason anyone doesn’t support UKIP is that they want to appear fashionably anti-racist. But this week she admits she voted Tory, not UKIP. Well Liz, I guess you're trying too hard to be right-on and anti-racist too. Isn't that what you said?

Is Liz aware that the baker is cheating on her with this fabulous woman?

Meanwhile there is now a vacancy in the Bercow household. Small man meets small minded woman.......

That is exactly what I thought!

LJ has completely made this up. For someone who claims to have self esteem issues, she loves to big herself up.

And as for she never reads comments underneath her comments - mmmm.she reads them, she reads this thread.too, and probably regularly Googles herself on a regular basis.

How many weeks behind is the Dreary? I look forward to the revelations of Daaaavid's response to this shocking revelation.

I also think it's interesting that this article referring to him as her fiance was presumably written (or at least updated and finalised for publication) mere days after we observed that Liz was still referring to him as her boyfriend.

SURE Liz doesn't read comments. SUUUURE.

I also agree with whoever it was upthread who observed that the comment about the beautiful, elegant, etc etc woman couldn't possibly have been written by Nic, at least not based on what I've spied publicly available on her Facebook page. PERHAPS it was written by the BAKER HIMSELF. After all, he like the FRS and others in Liz's life writes in that exact manner according to Liz.

I could, quite seriously, see the Baker writing a passive-aggressive comment like that on her diary actually.

Ergo, tis all fantasy and fiction. Except, perhaps, for the HMRC palaver, which sounds to be plausible - therefore to be swept beneath the (non-existent) carpet after making it such A Big Thing. She really is a v odd woman.

Still can't get my head round how ANYONE could think it a 'good idea' to actually rip out a kitchen from their house ... and what's with the 'cottage' she witters about where she now goes to warm up her lettuce leaf or whatever the hell it is she eats these days?

Is that a euphemism?

This is Lizzie's house. Nice innit?

http://www.zoopla.co.uk/property-his...1-6nq/15589839

It has 2 'flats' attached which you can see the floorplans of if you click on 'brochure'.
The kitchen's not my personal taste, but it's serviceable. What's the point in ripping it out so you have none at all? Stupid in the extreme.

So this woman who is struggling to pay for her knee pluckings, so much so that she can barely afford to buy any more designer dresses, lives alone in a three-bedroom house and she has two flats on the property as well? Do the words "rent those f****** out" mean nothing to her? I presume Nic is in one of them, but there's a second,

Get a hot plate and a toaster oven in the real house Liz and rent the cottage out. OR OR OR move into the cottage and rent the house out. Turn the house into a hotel. NEEDS MUST.

Hell, if I were in Liz's supposed position I'd just have to sell my flat. BUT if my flat consisted of a three bedroom house and two separate flats, then the options would be far, far greater.

All of which is eminently sensible but, to be honest, I don't think LJ knows about being sensible. Or, indeed, cutting your coat to suit the cloth.

Wasn't she supposed to be on her knees financially when she bought that house? Over 1 million for that house. She could have bought herself a lovely house in that area for less than half that.

Yeah. Unless this is all complete lies, she'd rather mortgage herself to the eyeballs than live in anything that someone might classify as "common".

Oh that's priceless! It's Combing the Collie all over again.

Is it just me, or does she seem to keep forgetting whether she and David are still an item or not, often lurching between "dumped" and "together" several times in the space of one column? In her MoS column last week, she referred to him twice:" once as her boyfriend and once as fiance. In the Diary, she said he'd dumped her, then referred to a conversation they'd had in the bathroom a few days earlier, then quoted a post from his sister about the reason why she'd "lost" him, then announced their plans to go away together! Does she not read her own columns back and spot the discrepancies?

Thanks again for the lettuce leaf warming hilarity, Pixie and amikolaichek. I laughed out loud! A new catchphrase is born....

Doesn't that Liz Kendall, who's standing for leadership of the labour party, look like a younger Liz Jones clone? I'd never seen or heard of her before last weekend, but she could be her daughter..

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/home/you/...s-ex-wife.html

And we're off and running. The ex-wife agrees with lizard, he's a slob.

The ex-wife is a well preserved former air hostess (her words), so David is more valuable as a bf.

Can't make this shite up

The thing about him now being more valuable because he has a hot ex is pretty disgusting to be honest. Now, to be fair, in early days when you know that someone with hot exes is attracted to you, that can be flattering and make you feel more interested in him. But conversely if the exes are less hot than you, then there's little sense of inferiority.

But Liz is supposed to be marrying this fellow and they've been together a couple of years now. It's ridiculous and demeaning to David. He's just an object to her, like a pair of shoes or a borrowed designer outfit.

And then after the faux outrage at discovering he was already involved with his wife to be when she was moping deludedly after him and not getting the message, there's the expected self hate.

FFS Liz you never had a relationship with him then. He was an acquaintance you had a crush on, an unreciprocated crush.

You have a relationship with him, a real one, NOW. It began when you started going out together a couple of years ago. It did not begin in the 80s, FFS.

I had two relationships - real ones, with sex and "my boyfriend" and everything - with the same man, several years apart. The two relationships were quite different due to our different stages of life and the ONLY thing that was different second time round was that we already knew each other's likes and dislikes, weird habits and suchlike.

Liz isn't even in that situation.

Am I missing something, or has she really got one of her two pairs of knickers in a knot because, over thirty years ago, she was so astonishingly unobservant that she didn't notice the boy next door, who she had a huge, unrequited crush on and doubtless spied on, had a girlfriend who stayed over now and then ? And that D'Scrace is the lowest of the low because he had the titanium balls NOT TO TELL her ?

Seriously, what f****** planet is she on ?

She's on Planet "I Have It All/Except For How I Am On My Knees And Yet Love Eludes Me/Except For How I Have An Adoring Fiance"

All this meeting up with the ex's wife is reminiscent of the episode of Sex and the City where Carrie meets Alexandr's former wife in Paris.

Woman in her late 50's bases her life on a TV show which has been off the air for nearly 10 years - how sad.