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Liz Jones - YOU magazine (Part 4)
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House of Jones
27-05-2015
David's son is extremely handsome - and the ex-wife is gorgeous (the son clearly takes after her). It must have driven the embittered Liz to distraction, regardless of the fictional "bonding" incident (nicked wholesale from SATC).

I dunno, I've been thinking about this - has Liz always been so hateful? I recall quite enjoying her column 15-20 years ago. So much seems to have changed. I can't work out if she's trying to, or thinks she is, funny. What she reports of her behaviour towards David is nothing to be proud of - and to me it reads as abusive. She belittles and insults him at every opportunity. Is she really intending to marry him? Because it seems she doesn't even like him, let alone love him. And she is surprised that people contacted Celia Hammond when her poor little elderly cat was savaged by her untrained dogs in her own home?? Has she really lost touch with reality to this extent? And facing bankruptcy yet again? How many times is this now? Pay your flipping tax woman, like the rest of us do!

Liz is going to end up a miserable, poor and lonely old woman. All of her own making.
Bellagio
27-05-2015
Originally Posted by House of Jones:
“Liz is going to end up a miserable, poor and lonely old woman.”

Currently two out of three and working on poor.
Cassini
28-05-2015
I wonder how her injured cat is now. There has been no mention of it. Usually she comments about her animals when they have been poorly.
nitenurse
28-05-2015
Hi Liz! Know you read here regularly.

Just want to know, I just lived your dream. NYC during fleet week. Shopping at Bergdorf's and Saks, even hit Bloomingdale's and Macy's. Ate at the fun places (but we all know you don't eat), so I'll spare you the details.

We shopped, we laughed, we hung out. Except we are chubby, middleaged, married mothers.

The horrors.
Lizzyroz
28-05-2015
Originally Posted by Cassini:
“I wonder how her injured cat is now. There has been no mention of it. Usually she comments about her animals when they have been poorly.”

She mentioned Sweetie only this week.

Quote:
“It didn’t help, the other weekend, when I’d written about Sweetie being injured by my collies, that in the middle of the night I got an email from Celia Hammond, who runs the charity that gave me Sweetie, at Christmas 2004, saying, ‘Liz, I am getting an awful lot of emails about Sweetie. I do hope she is OK. Can we have an update? Do you think the dogs are likely to do it again, given the chance? If you want to talk about options, do please let us know. We are happy to help in any way. Love, Celia.’

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/home/you/...#ixzz3bQOwuVnt”

Suzy_Cat
28-05-2015
in the middle of the night I got an email from Celia Hammond

This suggests that:

a) Liz sits up all night watching her inbox like a hawk lest an email drop;
b) Liz has notifications for everything set up on her phone, and was woken from her slumbers by said email;
c) Liz does not approve of people who keep different hours to her and who might, therefore, sometimes send emails very late at night.
seventhwave
29-05-2015
Originally Posted by Suzy_Cat:
“in the middle of the night I got an email from Celia Hammond

This suggests that:

a) Liz sits up all night watching her inbox like a hawk lest an email drop;
b) Liz has notifications for everything set up on her phone, and was woken from her slumbers by said email;
c) Liz does not approve of people who keep different hours to her and who might, therefore, sometimes send emails very late at night.”

Or d) the email arrived at around 10pm and she is being a drama queen as usual
Suzy_Cat
29-05-2015
When I was doing my thesis like a privileged university person who might serve a pseudo-vegan goat's cheese, I would routinely send drafts to my supervisors around midnight. What surprised me was how often I would get REPLIES from them at that time, despite the fact they were up lecturing in the morning and so on and so forth.

Sounds to me like Liz must be rather LAZY and BAD AT TIME MANAGEMENT if she thinks a person sending an email in the middle of the night is somehow unnatural. It's the way people who are truly passionate and committed to their work operate, all the time. And they manage to take holidays too.
puffin1962
31-05-2015
The new dreary - same old, same old
seventhwave
31-05-2015
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/home/you/...id-s-flat.html

"In which I get thrown out of David's flat" No, YOU started packing your bags in the middle of the night (despite him saying he didn't want you to drive.)

"I knew your dirty habits would end up killing me" She makes it sound like he lives in an e-waste dump or something, not just an untidy flat ...
Lizzyroz
31-05-2015
What does she know about what kids need? She hates them and as her own childhood seems to have been horribly dysfunctional, what makes her an expert? Usual rudeness to others she thinks are beneath her too..

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/ar...rld-safer.html
seventhwave
31-05-2015
Yep, girls are going to learn ALL about bras and periods from porn ...

"Maybe all these boys, tap tapping away, are just getting it out of their system. Safer, surely?" This sounds nastily like Liz is one of these people who thinks porn and prostitution are a good thing because men can't control their sexual urges and might otherwise rape "decent" women ...
Regis Magnae
31-05-2015
The Mail never ceases to amaze me. In campaigning to bring in filters they had some dubious statistics and justifications, and now one of their columnists tries to justify porn existing with some equally dubious justifications.

Originally Posted by seventhwave:
“Yep, girls are going to learn ALL about bras and periods from porn ...

"Maybe all these boys, tap tapping away, are just getting it out of their system. Safer, surely?" This sounds nastily like Liz is one of these people who thinks porn and prostitution are a good thing because men can't control their sexual urges and might otherwise rape "decent" women ...”

A some what Victorian view I think. Oddly, enough, in medieval times it was the other way around: women were considered sexually aggressive.
BellaFiga
31-05-2015
More like fap, fapping away.
Suzy_Cat
31-05-2015
Originally Posted by seventhwave:
“Yep, girls are going to learn ALL about bras and periods from porn ...

"Maybe all these boys, tap tapping away, are just getting it out of their system. Safer, surely?" This sounds nastily like Liz is one of these people who thinks porn and prostitution are a good thing because men can't control their sexual urges and might otherwise rape "decent" women ...”

It sounds like Liz knows very little about internet porn. In Her Day it was a furtive glance at a Penthouse with pictures of naked, and largely natural, women, nude and/or pretending to have a fap. Or a soft porn movie that showed sex from the waist up.

Today it's fake breasts, bare pudenda, anal as standard and nonconsensual breathplay on the first date.
jeff_vader
31-05-2015
'climb under barbed wire'

crawl under, Liz...or, more practical, climb over.

Even if she's a crap writer, her sub should have picked that up. ffs.

Oh, I forgot. No-one edits her ramblings
day dreamer
31-05-2015
Either Liz Jones has lost the plot more than ever (is that even possible when she's already such a lunatic?) this edition or she and Dscrace are in a borderline abusive relationship. Either way the dreary is actually painful to read.
Lucy Van Pelt
31-05-2015
Has she ever been happy in a relationship? It seems that she doesn;t seem to think it is possible
day dreamer
31-05-2015
What I find most curious is why David allows her to write about him as she does. I've never seen anyone talk about their other half like that, let alone on a public platform. I can't understand it and keep wondering if their "relationship" is actually purely fictional like most of LJ's ramblings.
Lizzyroz
31-05-2015
Originally Posted by day dreamer:
“What I find most curious is why David allows her to write about him as she does. I've never seen anyone talk about their other half like that, let alone on a public platform. I can't understand it and keep wondering if their "relationship" is actually purely fictional like most of LJ's ramblings.”

Oh he exists all right, but I don't think these pictures show any sort of togetherness at all, and she's not even looking at the bloke. Either having an 'affair' with her is good publicity for his bakery or he's got a skin like a rhino and doesn't feel hurt by her barbs.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/ar...ey-No-way.html
KeepBooks
31-05-2015
I can't remember ever having seen an article by Liz about the election. 'Tis a shame she went through all that and had nothing published?
Rubbish Name
01-06-2015
Originally Posted by KeepBooks:
“I can't remember ever having seen an article by Liz about the election. 'Tis a shame she went through all that and had nothing published?”

Certainly nothing that required a trip to Kent! Some old rambly nonsense about how she voted conservative and fancies Tony Blair.
day dreamer
01-06-2015
Originally Posted by Rubbish Name:
“ Some old rambly nonsense about how she voted conservative and fancies Tony Blair.”

What an embarrassment to women she is.
seventhwave
03-06-2015
Originally Posted by Lizzyroz:
“Oh he exists all right, but I don't think these pictures show any sort of togetherness at all, and she's not even looking at the bloke. Either having an 'affair' with her is good publicity for his bakery or he's got a skin like a rhino and doesn't feel hurt by her barbs.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/ar...ey-No-way.html”

What the hell is that

You would think DScrace is being tongue in cheek when he says that Liz thinks telling a dog to sit is abuse; but no, I suspect it is entirely serious (while letting her dogs savage her cat.) And as well as "Lizzie the nervous racehorse" there is "Gracie the nervous collie." I understand that rescue animals often have problems but it is a bit worrying when someone describes ALL their pets as "nervous"
amikolaichek
07-06-2015
Today's 'Dreary':
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/home/you/...y-lean-on.html

Somebody, PLEASE, put her out of our misery. What a pathetic, wailing load of utter tripe ... she's now even having a go at 'Nic'. I really really can't understand how the Mail on Sunday can keep her on. Her 'Drearies' are getting more and more ludicrous.
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