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Liz Jones - YOU magazine (Part 4)


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Old 24-01-2016, 08:59
Lizzyroz
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N Peal cardigan (£345)
Case of champagne
Fabulous new kitchen with underfloor heating
Miele dishwasher

How is this all being paid for when she claims to be on her uppers and the taxman's telling her to sell up?

Nic's now back in her good books as well. Flippin' 'ell.
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Old 24-01-2016, 10:40
Suzy_Cat
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Is this the end for the gruesome twosome?

IF ONLY.

The snobbish histrionics about the Abba thing are a delight. How can she tell whether these people can sing anyway? Given that she is profoundly deaf?
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Old 24-01-2016, 12:41
vampyre
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I thought you might like to see the N Peal fur collection for women. That's right, fur or skins if you will.
http://www.npeal.com/shop/55d2f58f44...0003004dc9/Fur
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Old 24-01-2016, 14:51
amikolaichek
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I thought you might like to see the N Peal fur collection for women. That's right, fur or skins if you will.
http://www.npeal.com/shop/55d2f58f44...0003004dc9/Fur
Oh oh, I want, I really really WANT, a 'Racoon Pom Key Ring. But, being ancient and with dodgy eyesight, I first read it as a 'Racoon Porn Key Ring'.

Quite honestly, today's Dreary and the two farticles are beyond parody. So sneery and bitter ... she's certainly got it in for Holly Willoughby and as for the 'Abba' stuff - did you clock the weird lump on her knee in the photo with the Abba guy? Is it a case of 'knee acne'? Just asking.

Still, the 'film script' should be fun ... and the 'novel' - should I put in a pre-order with Amazon?
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Old 24-01-2016, 16:59
puffin1962
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Wasn't she claiming to be writing a novel after CBB in 2014?
I vaguely remember her writing about the "stress" of having to meet deadlines?

She hasn't published any books for 2 years now - since before CBB - perhaps this is the "story" that is now being written as a "screenplay"?
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Old 24-01-2016, 17:51
Yve_Hamilton_Br
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Yes, a novel that was due to be finished in the spring before last, I think. All seemed to go silent after the disaster that was her last book and the "Meet Liz Jones" do that went so quiet and nobody has ever spoken about, least of all the Mail. If she's turned one of her books into a screenplay off her own bat, then I am sorry to say that none of her books were very good, so I doubt someone/anyone will lash out the cash it takes to make a film these days.

I think Holly and Philip were having a joke by not changing from their evening clothes - they didn't look unduly hung over - and why shouldn't they?

The fur stuff just made me feel sick - how can she buy from a place like that? I note that DS, although obviously in a temper when he left, took his pressie!

Thought - didn't she have a sale somewhere of all her freebies 2/3 years back?
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Old 24-01-2016, 19:08
Lizzyroz
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Thought - didn't she have a sale somewhere of all her freebies 2/3 years back?
A charity shop in a rather upmarket part of Herts. Can't see her doing that in Scunthorpe.

http://www.cherrylodgecancercare.org...s-borehamwood/
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Old 24-01-2016, 19:44
IFonly58
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So at last he has finally grown a pair and done a runner, and got out of having the whole "So, tell me again about the cancelled wedding" conversation over the Xmas spinach salad dinner. Please God, let this be the last we hear of this train wreck, although it will no doubt all be forgotten about next week.
Maybe the Mamma Mia piece paid for the flag-stoned kitchen etc., although the MOS should try to get their fee back as it is mostly bad tempered random drivel, and why would they send their most miserable scribbler to a fun night out- she even managed to infer that the migrant tragedy in the Med is being mocked by ABBA. A truly warped mind.
BUT we have the book and the screenplay to look forward to..
Behold! the screenwriting talent of Elizabeth Ann Jones...here is an ACTUAL excerpt (from one of her recent Mail pieces):

GLOSSY EDITOR: "I thought I was going to be late! Hyde Park was closed because of a visit by the Pope. And he's not even Italian!"

A celebrity arrives - we can tell it's someone famous as she's obscured by a swarm of paparazzi and TV cameras.

HEROINE (to her bookworm neighbour) Have you any idea who the celeb is?

GLOSSY EDITOR: What am I Human Google?"

The Oscar is surely heading her way - now all she needs is a mantelpiece to put it on !
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Old 24-01-2016, 19:53
amikolaichek
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A charity shop in a rather upmarket part of Herts. Can't see her doing that in Scunthorpe.

http://www.cherrylodgecancercare.org...s-borehamwood/
Oh, please PLEASE, Liz Jones, hold a similar 'charity' sale here in Islington (where I live - not far from where you did, once upon a time) . I really really want to buy the only 'intimate' undies you own - those two pairs of silk knickers.

Meanwhile, I do recommend, highly, M & S packs of 'high waist cotton rich ladies' pants'. Six pairs for round a fiver. Might be even more, ahem, satisfying for The Baker, to rip them off rather than scrabbling at whatever frail, threadbare dry-cleaned ruined fanny-covers you're sporting at the time ....

Oh, sorry the Greatest Love Story Ever Told is ...off? I am so SO upset. But at least he took the N. Peal sweater with him.
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Old 24-01-2016, 21:37
seventhwave
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Yeah, given Liz's championing of animal "rights" (such as her dogs' right to remain undisciplined and un-house-trained, trample through other people's gardens, and savage her cat) I'm surprised she shops at a place like that. I guess her obsession with cashmere trumps all

I won't even touch on the subject of her calling herself a "hard-working feminist" while saying that there are "too many" women on TV, don't these uppity bints realise how good they have it, now get back to the kitchen
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Old 24-01-2016, 23:34
L_Silverwolf
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A charity shop in a rather upmarket part of Herts. Can't see her doing that in Scunthorpe.

http://www.cherrylodgecancercare.org...s-borehamwood/
Upmarket? You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.
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Old 24-01-2016, 23:40
Lizzyroz
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Upmarket? You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.
Compared to the part of Herts in which I live, it's upmarket.
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Old 25-01-2016, 07:41
Murraymar
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As a hardworking admin, I'd love to know what liz has against secretaries she had another pop yesterday in the holly willoughby piece.
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Old 25-01-2016, 08:21
seventhwave
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As a hardworking admin, I'd love to know what liz has against secretaries she had another pop yesterday in the holly willoughby piece.
Aside from her seeing the "little people" as beneath her, I suspect she holds a 1970s view of secretaries as young, ditzy bimbos who do a bit of light typing then spend the rest of the day filing their nails and are only really there in the hope of marrying the boss. That, and/or she thinks that any job done primarily by women can't possibly be "real" work, their little brains can't take it and they're always off on maternity leave or "flexitime" anyway. (The same way a lot of people view working in HR)
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Old 25-01-2016, 10:21
Pixie24
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N Peal cardigan (£345)
Case of champagne
Fabulous new kitchen with underfloor heating
Miele dishwasher

How is this all being paid for when she claims to be on her uppers and the taxman's telling her to sell up?

Nic's now back in her good books as well. Flippin' 'ell.
Her creditors and her IVA Practitioner will be THRILLED to read this! She's really not right in the head is she?
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Old 26-01-2016, 10:34
Suzy_Cat
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I suppose she will have justified the kitchen expenditure with the fact that it's very hard to sell a house with no kitchen. (Also, I suspect this kitchen has been underway for a long long time, and all the tragic stories about life huddled over a hot plate in one's threadbare VB dressing gown from four seasons ago are enormously exaggerated.)

That leaves the costly cardi and case of champagne.
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Old 26-01-2016, 10:35
Suzy_Cat
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Aside from her seeing the "little people" as beneath her, I suspect she holds a 1970s view of secretaries as young, ditzy bimbos who do a bit of light typing then spend the rest of the day filing their nails and are only really there in the hope of marrying the boss. That, and/or she thinks that any job done primarily by women can't possibly be "real" work, their little brains can't take it and they're always off on maternity leave or "flexitime" anyway. (The same way a lot of people view working in HR)
A secretary probably caught the eye of some boy she liked in 1973.
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Old 29-01-2016, 14:18
Rubbish Name
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Oh oh, I want, I really really WANT, a 'Racoon Pom Key Ring. But, being ancient and with dodgy eyesight, I first read it as a 'Racoon Porn Key Ring'.

Quite honestly, today's Dreary and the two farticles are beyond parody. So sneery and bitter ... she's certainly got it in for Holly Willoughby and as for the 'Abba' stuff - did you clock the weird lump on her knee in the photo with the Abba guy? Is it a case of 'knee acne'? Just asking.

Still, the 'film script' should be fun ... and the 'novel' - should I put in a pre-order with Amazon?
You might be amused to peruse some of the the 1* reviews for her last tome before rushing in there, amikolaichek
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Old 30-01-2016, 18:35
amikolaichek
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You might be amused to peruse some of the the 1* reviews for her last tome before rushing in there, amikolaichek
Ooh, thanks for that, Rubbish Name. I sometimes leave reviews on Amazon ... now awaiting the Muse to inspire me ... I've actually read The Book [hangs head in shame].
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Old 31-01-2016, 00:18
Yve_Hamilton_Br
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Gawd - it's another recycle effort - we've had this story about the underwear before haven't we, in one of her other columns. Do they pay her twice for repeating herself?

I also note she's still referring to herself as "his fiancée", despite cancelling the wedding. perhaps she's just going to be engaged for ever?
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Old 31-01-2016, 09:21
Suzy_Cat
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Attack on the Baker's kitchen hygiene: check.

Sneering ungratefulness at a gift from said Baker: check.

Snitty fury at an employee failing to give up her Christmas plans for Liz: check.

Whining about having to muck out animals at Christmas, despite supposed unconditional adoration for said animals: check.

Misplaced overspending "generosity" combined with abuse results in victim mentality: check.

Words "I'm always nice" used by a woman who proudly insists she "only tells the truth" and who gleefully recounts vitriolic assaults on retail assistants on a regular basis: priceless.
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Old 31-01-2016, 09:27
Mr Curmudgeon
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I can't understand why the Daily Mail continue to publish such utter dross.

To call this a 'diary' is a joke. It's nothing more than a platform for Lizard to spew her venom in the direction of whomever she wishes, without giving her 'victims' any opportunity to respond.

The last diary that I read was the one written by Anne Frank, which by comparison was infinitely more upbeat and compassionate than Lizard's despite her circumstances. But then again, I'm sure that Anne's pain and suffering was nothing compared to what Liz Jones has had to endure.

When will someone at the Daily Mail realise that a blank page is infinitely preferable to this infantile, poisonous drivel ?
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Old 31-01-2016, 11:45
Neio
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I've never thought of the Liz Moans as a funny writer before, but I was laughing like a drain at the words "I'm always nice" in the latest Dreary.

How many more weeks can she drag out a moan about Christmas? Of course the present from the Baker wasn't good enough for her (has she ever received a present she liked?), and of course she's still whinging about the squash he brought with him, even though she claims she ordered in organic vegetables, and of course she resents her employee for wanting something as basic as some time off at Christmas. How can she get paid six figures for churning out this bilge week after week?
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Old 31-01-2016, 11:48
seventhwave
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Saying that you have until a certain date (almost a month away, btw) to return your present if you don't like it is not a "task" or "deadline!" If you don't want to bloody do it, just throw them in the bin like you do with every other present you've "rejected" from the Baker! I won't even touch on his being graciously accommodating of your ingratitude; it's generally expected that people will keep and say "thank you" for their Christmas presents, and if they return or "re-gift" them it will be done discreetly!
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Old 31-01-2016, 12:01
David Wright
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I suppose we're supposed to laugh and sneer with her but the way she describes the Bakers "faults" in today's character assassination makes him sound like someone suffering from rather severe clinical depression to me.

I can't help but feel she has latched on to someone who is depressed and maybe has other psychological issues just so she can use him as cannon fodder for her dreadful articles.

I'm just hoping for his sake that this Christmas fiasco really is the end for them and he can go back to living his life in peace...
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