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Liz Jones - YOU magazine (Part 4)


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Old 16-02-2016, 23:36
jabegy
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She should be made to sit in the stocks with a 'scolds bridle' on her head, then we could all chuck rotten veg at her !! nasty piece of work that she is.
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Old 17-02-2016, 06:14
Suzy_Cat
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It occurs to me that David put the eggshells back in the fridge because he didn't know where the rubbish bin was - which is entirely understandable given she's only just had the kitchen installed and it seems that despite going out for a couple of years, they haven't actually spent much time in her house - and because he was probably SCARED to ask.

As for the state of the veges, I have to wonder whether they were in quite such an appalling state as she suggests.
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Old 17-02-2016, 09:20
Neio
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One of the most bizarre moments in the Dreary this week is when she comes out with: "I made such an effort for you yet when I said I’d bought a flan dish you asked, “What’s the diameter?” Get over yourself and just say, “Great!”’

As he's a baker, isn't showing an interest in the size of the flan dish a pretty natural thing?
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Old 17-02-2016, 13:02
vampyre
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One of the most bizarre moments in the Dreary this week is when she comes out with: "I made such an effort for you yet when I said I’d bought a flan dish you asked, “What’s the diameter?” Get over yourself and just say, “Great!”’

As he's a baker, isn't showing an interest in the size of the flan dish a pretty natural thing?
Having seen the youtube video of his baking, I am certainly convinced that he is a baker in name only.
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Old 17-02-2016, 13:35
amikolaichek
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Tell me I'm not hallucinating ... but in one bit of Sunday's 'Dreary' she castigates The Baker for turning up in trackie bottoms - I quote: 'You turned up in old tracksuit bottoms, unwashed hair, with mouldy veg'.

But a few lines down, the old tracksuit bottoms have morphed into pyjamas: '‘You never acknowledge that maybe turning up in pyjamas with rotten veg was a bad idea, as was moaning'.

Trackie bottoms? Pyjamas? Make your mind up, woman. Do you reckon she writes her 'Drearies' after a few glasses of organic, free range, vegan Prosecco? Or she's just 'forgetful' when it comes to what she's written a few seconds earlier?
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Old 17-02-2016, 15:25
Ber
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Give it acouple of weeks and he'll have turned up in his underpants throwing mouldy veg at her windows...
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Old 17-02-2016, 17:59
Jennifer_Jones2
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One of the most bizarre moments in the Dreary this week is when she comes out with: "I made such an effort for you yet when I said I’d bought a flan dish you asked, “What’s the diameter?” Get over yourself and just say, “Great!”’

As he's a baker, isn't showing an interest in the size of the flan dish a pretty natural thing?
Particularly when you're cooking a Christmas Dinner - can't think what you would use a flan dish for then!
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Old 17-02-2016, 18:21
puffin1962
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Particularly when you're cooking a Christmas Dinner - can't think what you would use a flan dish for then!
Well of course Liz is a vegan - so she had probably planned a vegan flan containing those vegan eggs
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Old 21-02-2016, 00:17
Jennifer_Jones2
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A bottle of something nice to whoever said it would be on again this week! My God, it's so boring though - the celebrations for her sister's birthday (which sister?) are nothing to write home about and must have taken all of 5 minutes to organise and she's staying in a B&B rather than a luxury hotel.

I still remain convinced it's all a set up with David and the Mail - either that, or David is a masochist of the first order/congenital idiot - take your pick!

All in all, I find the discussions about Europe and are we going to stay in far more interesting.
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Old 21-02-2016, 00:40
puffin1962
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A bottle of something nice to whoever said it would be on again this week! My God, it's so boring though - the celebrations for her sister's birthday (which sister?) are nothing to write home about and must have taken all of 5 minutes to organise and she's staying in a B&B rather than a luxury hotel.
.
Millers 64 is more of a boutique hotel than a traditional B&B - room rates are £90-150 per night so not exactly a Travelodge
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Old 21-02-2016, 07:41
Bellagio
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My God, it's so boring though - the celebrations for her sister's birthday (which sister?)...
Next sibling up - Susan Honor, born February 7th 1956 in Nairobi. The nurse, I think, and the one she shared the house in Brixton next door to D'Scrace.
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Old 21-02-2016, 09:22
newbaby
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The Diary has descended into the realms of Beyond Bonkers.
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Old 21-02-2016, 09:44
amikolaichek
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Her MoS farticle this week is damning with faint praise the new Marks & Spencer's collection. Let's just hope she doesn't reprise that beyond awful photoshoot she did a few years back, 'modelling' that year's collection, in a parody of the Annie Lebowitz photoshoot of 'women of influence' or some such flatulent title.

For what it's worth, I still think this current M & S collection maintains their usual standard of frumpiness.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/ar...es-afford.html
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Old 21-02-2016, 10:34
Neio
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If the Baker got back with Lizard after all that, I'm starting to think he deserves everything he gets.

So now she's bemoaning that she's not been anywhere lovely in a decade? Didn't she go to Paris with the Baker, and Tuscany with the (fake) rock star, and no doubt lots of others I've forgotten that she probably claims are work (I've written travel features for magazines, it's not difficult Liz). And she's bemoaning the fact because she can't go and visit her sister in Sydney in intensive care (would that count as a lovely trip?).

And she's saying she'll be wearing the Myla underwear he bought her, even though she took it back and 'upgraded' it? Well it's not the underwear he bought you then is it you silly woman!
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Old 21-02-2016, 11:11
Lizzyroz
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She moans at the state of his flat - lack of a bathroom light, rubbish filled garden - and he can never do anything right for her. For his part he puts up with her running him down in print each week - even though he asks her not to - whilst receiving gold lighters, iPads and cashmere cardis.

How do they expect to sustain a relationship when he's living in London, and she's in Richmond? I realise when you're of more mature years (like me ) it's hard to take the first step to do something different with your life, but if neither of them are prepared to move in with the other, they'll have a life of running up and down the A1, constant criticism and sniping between them, and that's not good for any relationship. If he wants to live with her perhaps he needs to find himself a job nearby and pack up That London. If she wants to be with him, move back down south, buy a flat and get rid of the menagerie.

I think he's with her for the costly gifts and she's with him just so she has a 'boyfriend' to write about. As a character said in Laurie Lee's Cider with Rosie, ''Ern a man's better than 'nern a man'' - any man's better than none at all, and it's certainly true of Lizzie.
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Old 21-02-2016, 14:00
Rubbish Name
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Her sister's in intensive care and she's fretting about the crepey skin inside her elbows. This sums up Liz Jones for me.
And how many times are we going to be subjected to her hilaaaarious joke about there being no room for her at the fashion shows when she's only a size whatever?
Please, PLEASE, somebody at the MoS put us out of her misery. Even a blank page would be preferable.
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Old 21-02-2016, 15:05
seventhwave
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"I'm a size 6!!!!" You were a size 10 a couple of weeks ago, when David bought you the Myla undies you "upgraded" (And don't forget that vanity sizing is in operation ... if you're a size 10 now, ten or twenty years ago you would have been a 12 or 14)

Dreary is oddly but blissfully short today. As well as Paris, Tuscany and Stockholm Liz has recently mentioned a trip to Canada, then there was that Hong Kong piece she wrote in 2010 (OK, a while back, but still within the last decade) I take it those were horrible too? And a whole farticle about how she "wishes she had a husband" to fix the plumbing for her. Well, Liz, you threw away your chance to marry Scrace ... although next week I suppose the engagement will be back on too. But then his infirmities sadly get in the way of tinkering with Liz's boiler so maybe he doesn't quite count as a husband in her book

How do they expect to sustain a relationship when he's living in London, and she's in Richmond?
Richmond?? I thought that was just where she gets her hair done and so forth? It would be much easier if she did live in Richmond, which would be a lot closer than driving back and forth from Yorkshire ..
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Old 21-02-2016, 15:18
amikolaichek
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Call me a cynical old crone - guilty of both - in my mid seventies and cynical as hell but I am still in possession of my marbles and am now becoming more and more convinced that this whole 'Dreary' is some huge joke played on us by Jones, The Baker and the MoS. And I know I am not alone - other contributors to DS have posited the same theory.

I mean, HOW could any normal male, even if he's jogging on a bit and perhaps desperate for a bit of female companionship, put up with the weekly excoriating of him by his so-called 'fiancée? EVERY bloody thing he does is wrong ... yet we're meant to believe he sucks it up and comes back for more. Oh please.

Surely the whole thing has to be a cynical 'Click Bait' conspiracy between Jones, Scrace and the MoS. As so long as it last, Jones pockets her half a million squids a year or whatever it is ... (hope HMRC scopes this website).

Still, there's no underestimating (or do I mean overestimating) the gullibility of readers of the more trashy end of the Fourth Estate (that, ahem, is us ... following MoS, sorry). So long as Jones keeps copying 'n pasting her and The Baker's TXTs, this will run and run....

I foresee some 'cliff-hanger' Drearies about the run-up to 'the wedding', including what Jones will wear, then the outfit she's planning to wear being ALL WRONG, her shoes don't fit, her crepey inside elbows escalate to the outside ... and her knees ... and her neck, oh dear. And then there'll be the continuing lack of a 'guest list' from The Baker, arguments with the venue - it can't provide vegan confetti, a vegan Registrar, vegan flowers ... and her 'other husband', Michael/Sam the cat-eating dog isn't allowed to be give her away ... Plus friends and family all in absentia, hastily replying to invitations to the nuptials with excuses of 'washing their hair/'flu/emigrating/appearing in court ...' etc. etc.

Can't wait.
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Old 21-02-2016, 15:44
fizzycat
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Richmond?? I thought that was just where she gets her hair done and so forth? It would be much easier if she did live in Richmond, which would be a lot closer than driving back and forth from Yorkshire ..
I think she means the Richmond in North Yorkshire.

I think I agree with amikolaichek about it all being a huge joke. Today's whine about her crepey inner elbows has convinced me. Everyone's arms crease when the elbow is bent so it can't be new to her, but crepey? I'm older than her and mine are the same as they've ever been. I used to be a nurse in elderly care and don't recall crepey elbows being a problem except in dehydrated patients. So perhaps her skin's in such a state because she's dehydrated, which with her faddiness about everything wouldn't surprise me.
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Old 21-02-2016, 15:56
IFonly58
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Wow- what a relief - it's not over after all - it was just some comic confusion over a misunderstood "OK" ! All that name calling, running off at Xmas, and hatred..all water under the bridge and the love affair of our generation continues (wipes tears from eyes). Seriously, what does she take us for ??
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Old 21-02-2016, 15:59
Lizzyroz
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I think she means the Richmond in North Yorkshire.
I do.
If it was Richmond, London it definitely wouldn't be a problem.

I think I agree with amikolaichek about it all being a huge joke. Today's whine about her crepey inner elbows has convinced me. Everyone's arms crease when the elbow is bent so it can't be new to her, but crepey? I'm older than her and mine are the same as they've ever been. I used to be a nurse in elderly care and don't recall crepey elbows being a problem except in dehydrated patients. So perhaps her skin's in such a state because she's dehydrated, which with her faddiness about everything wouldn't surprise me.
How do you get crepey skin on your inner elbows? I'm a bit older than Lizzie and don't have it. My bingo wings are another matter however......
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Old 21-02-2016, 17:34
seventhwave
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I think she means the Richmond in North Yorkshire.
I'm an idiot - I thought the Richmond oop north was on the other side of the country!!!

It is indeed quite alarming how Liz goes from "sister in intensive care" to "birthday bash in Edinburgh, Valentines, expensive meals out, Myla, aargh! crepey skin!" And going to Sweden to meet Abba doesn't count as a holiday but visiting your sister on her deathbed in South Africa is "lovely!"
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Old 22-02-2016, 06:11
Ade_Lw
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Still lying,still deluded but not so sour today. Her gifts to David are flashy show off material, so not given in any true spirit of generosity, especially when you considered the disparity of their incomes. A more thoughtful, kind and loving gift would be employing a regular cleaner and gardener to keep things nice for him as. He's just not able to for what ever reason. While he could perhaps do something hugely of value to her which would only cost him time and effort: training her dogs, poor things.

But I still think the best present of all would be changing his number and email address then sodding off on holiday with his mates.
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Old 22-02-2016, 09:09
amikolaichek
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I've been studying the skin on the inside of my elbows - including scrutiny with the unforgiving image enlargement of the tiny magnifying glass that came in a Christmas Cracker. To be brutally frank,, the skin there looks a whole load better than much of the skin elsewhere on my 74 year old carcass. I am tempted to take a picture ... but what's the term for a 'Selfie' of one's inner elbow? 'Elbelfie'? Might add (not boasting, honestly) a dermatologist remarked last week that I 'have really nice skin on my face ...' she then added the rider '... for you age'. Still, I was dead chuffed, I put it down to being, generally, a happy, optimistic person, despite a lot of sh*t happening in my life. Also, I love, and am loved, when it comes to my family and friends, and when I worked as a journalist (always a feature writer) I NEVER used my family or friends as column fodder. My editor, who had ethics (remember those?), wouldn't have allowed it in any case.

Yup, I reiterate what others here are also suspecting ... I am sure this whole saga is an unholy pact between Jones, Scrace and MoS - the trio laughing all the way to the bank. Otherwise ... IF it's for real, then surely Scrace is plumbing new depths when it comes to masochism.
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Old 22-02-2016, 10:18
Suzy_Cat
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Look here, you smooth elbowed lot. You clearly did not grow up in a leaky vicarage, the youngest child of however many it is, like a Dodie Smith character but so, so troublesomely not posh or bohemian. I have no doubt that Liz's crepey elbows are a direct result of a) hand me downs b) no pony of her own c) Vogue d) anorexia e) insufficient application of softening socks due to freebies drying up f) Nirpal g) India Knight h) the tragickal demise of her one true love, Lizzie the horse i) farmers in Dorset who do not have Illy coffee j) The Stalker Neighbour k) David's lack of a bathroom light.
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